Now don’t worry all the stories still have the same thing in common… loving women…it’s all about finding that special someone in our lives. Whether it is destined to last forever and other’s lasting for what only seems like stolen moments. We might call them by different names but we all hope to find the yin to our yang. The counterpart that just fits and makes it seem like this is the person; I’ve been waiting for my whole life.

Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought of a romantic interest as a zebra, so let me explain my thought process to you dear reader. All my life I have searched for the elusive femme of my dreams, a strong, independent, sexy lady confident in who she is and who is ultimately searching for her butch counter-part. A lipstick femme who revels in who she is, loving her make-up, clothes, sexy heels and all the other accoutrements that bring butches like myself to our knees.

So hence reader’s, I’ve come to call these precious femmes, who wear and love their heels with total abandon…zebras. Well really not all women but just one very special lady who has marked my heart and soul so much that she epitomes the femme of my dreams and I began calling her the zebra in my heart.

I first met Elise more than 3 years ago, but I had just starting dating another lady all though it was a long distance relationship. So for several reasons though she and I clicked, I did not pursue my interest in Elise. I introduced her to a friend and lost track of her…lost but not forgotten. So here we fast forward to year ago when I finally caught sight of her again. I came into the neighborhood bar one night after work and had recently ended the 2 year long distance relationship that slowly deteriorated into a once a month booty call.
I sat at the bar and ordered a beer; it was karaoke night so there were quite a few people out, as I looked around the bar who do I spot but Elise sitting across the bar, it was as if lighting struck when she looked my way and waved hello. Such an incredibly beautiful sight that I felt as if I had been struck by one of cupid’s arrows as I fell in love with her at first sight. We talked across the bar saying how good it was to see each other again. I instantly went to her side taking up where we left off so many years ago. She looked amazing, flawless make-up, sexy low cut shirt and let’s not forget the delicious heels, the total package that made my heart skip a beat…the elusive femme.

But unfortunately she was not there alone, I thought to myself of all the luck. She introduced me to her friend and when I went to shake her hand she looks me up and down…”Oh I know who you are Gina” and left me hanging there with my hand outstretched. I quickly apologized for intruding and worked my way back to the other side of the bar to stare at Elise from a distance. I tried not to be so obvious and pretended to be watching the karaoke singers.

I could not keep my eyes off of her and watched her for the next hour, when suddenly I saw her friend go out the front door. I thought to myself here’s my chance, so I walked over to her with my phone number in hand asking her to call me. I asked about her friend and of course I asked Elise, if she was single? Her response was “Yes, I’m single, I just got out of a relationship and this lady is really just a friend.” As I stared into her eyes they sparkled as brilliantly as the night sky, with the promises of many more tomorrows. I found myself so drawn to her, that in another instant I would have kissed her. The return of her friend stopped what could have happened and I said my good-byes hoping she would call me soon. As I walked out the bar, I thought to myself “damn it”; I didn’t ask her for her number so I hoped beyond hope that she felt the same electricity as I had?

She was all I could think about and if I had another opportunity I surely would not have hesitated in kissing her. I kept going back to the bar every night in hopes of catching her again and making sure that next time, I would not leave without her number. A couple of months go by and I thought about what I could have I done to change things? When one day out of the blue I get a call from her, I was at work so she left me her name and number with a message to call her. You better believe that I returned her call in record time.
“Hi Gina, this is Elise, you remember me, you gave me your number at the bar about 2 months ago? I was there on karaoke night with my friend. Give me a call when you can maybe we can go out for drinks?” Hearing her silky voice, my heart skipped a beat.

I took a deep breath and called her back, she picked up after only a couple of rings…” Hi Elise, of course I remember you. I thought I’d never hear from you, especially since I left the bar without your number that night. Yes absolutely let’s go out for drinks, how about lunch? My brother’s coming into town maybe I could see you this evening.” I found myself hopelessly rambling…

“Well Gina I just found your number when I was organizing my files so I wanted to call and say Hi. Uh, I don’t know about meeting your family already, we haven’t even talked.”

I could just picture her holding the phone from her ear wondering why I was rambling the way I was. I could sense I was about to lose another opportunity and thought to myself, breathe Gina slow down.

“I’m sorry Elise; let’s meet for drinks tonight or tomorrow and we’ll go from there” as I held my heart stopped as I wait for her response.

“Ok Gina, we’ll meet at the bar tomorrow about 2pm for drinks.” My heart began to beat again.

“Sounds great I look forward to seeing you then” as I hung up the phone, I held my head in my hands wondering she must have thought I sounded crazy, going on and on the way I did. Luckily I would be seeing her in less than 24hrs, I was on cloud nine.

Stayed tuned for the next installment of “The Zebra in My Heart” Until then have faith, the next adventure is just around the corner. You can contact at HelloMsHeartbreak@yahoo.com

As a writer, I can often find myself at a loss for words when the issue is very close to my heart. In this instance, a friend asked me to describe my Dreamgirl, not an easy task but I know that when I envision her…”All I have to do is dream.”

It can be difficult to put into words the kind of person you seek for a relationship. Though I can imagine the lady, I would hope that she is more than a dream come true and becomes something undiscovered. Ultimately someone who is loving, caring, independent, sexy, non-judgmental, open minded, etc… I have looked for her in so many faces over the years, only to find it to be an illusion that did not survive the test of time. In my past I have been married twice to women and though I hoped for the happily ever-after, they both became anything but. Today armed with more life experiences and new wisdom from the lessons learned, I try to move forward instead of living in the past.

I am most attracted by the lipstick femme, who revels in her femininity and enjoys all the frilly accruements that make butches like me weak in the knees. She should not to be afraid to think outside the box and reach for more in life, always moving forward. She should appreciate the uniqueness of the Butch-Femme mystique, the treasure that comes from finding the missing link, the yin to the yang. We don’t need each other but know that together nothing is impossible. Giving each other the freedom to be who we are and yet realizing the power between us can lead to so much more. Being there and supporting each other’s dreams, realizing that our successes can be a joint effort of our relationship. Will she be willing to climb a mountain everyday overcoming any obstacles together? While most would rather wait until you are on top of the world before they will reach for you. I would rather walk beside her as we explore what life has to offer and being there with her every step of the way. Life can be unpredictable, but we will not be.

It is truly amazing the length that we will go to and how your life’s energy can be so tied to another. The connection of 2 souls 2 hearts, I want to be so lost in her that my soul aches for her touch, dreaming of the moment when her lips are upon mine, with her sweet breath caressing me, while she declares her love. It’s funny how sometimes one person can give you such strength, such a feeling of love and that the infusion of passion can transform you.

I don’t want to have any regrets for investing every part of myself and laying it all out on the line for one more chance at the dream. It was my free choice to expose my heart and it must be her free choice as we both seek the epitome of our desires. We each are truly in control of our destiny, love, hopes, desires and our dreams.

Although many people can have strong opinions about our lives together, in the end we are the only ones who matter, because we are ultimately responsible for our own destiny and most importantly our own happiness. There will likely be difficult times ahead and I willingly accept them, because I could not stop this now even if I wanted to. Hoping for the best or dealing with the worst is something I’m willing to do for love, for us. I would have greater regrets if I hadn’t put my heart and soul into this love and its possible outcome.

Now I can honestly say that I have seen the dream change and become more than I could have ever envisioned, but it remains elusive in a very real sense. The past cannot be changed but the future is yet to be. I don’t care about where you have been; I care about where you are going. Can you let go of the past and imagine a greater future, learning from past lessons and know that love still exists.

In closing, it will become obvious to all, that I have yet to find my dreamgirl. Though I carry my elusive one with me as the days and years go by; though the dream may not be as vivid as it once was. But the memories are buried deep within me nay I say they have become a part of me, as my heart and soul still ache for her. Our lives have touched from time to time, always with the same intensity, but fate teases us with only a temporary illusion. I wish her strength, health and as strong a love as we both have had the privilege to witness over the years and the enduring hope that fate will one day be kind enough to bring her back into my life for another chance at the dream…Hello Ms. Heartbreak, I’ve been expecting you!

Gina Landeau

HelloMsHeartbreak@yahoo.com

So after 25 years of not performing, I issued a challenge for someone to spot and recognize me as Midnight Cowboy on Halloween, while I was out and about in Wilton Manors. Well as these things go this became not just another adventure but another great story destined for the pages of Gir(L).

In preparation for my night out, I had to go in search of the necessary items for the make-up to be effective as well as dusting off my cowboy hat and trusty six guns. So I hit the stores for just 2 items, crepe hair and spirit gum, and was able to find it easy enough at a local costume store. I decided to do a practice make-up session to be sure that I still had the talent to pull this off.

So I sat myself in front of a mirror, first cutting the crepe hair into fine stubble, then applying the spirit gum to my skin then the stubble with a make-up brush meticulously creating inch by inch, first sideburns then beard and mustache. After an hour, I looked in the mirror surprised at how realistic the transformation still was after all these years. In that instant recalling how 25 years ago, I would be accosted by women, who wanted to see for themselves that I was really a woman in drag. I created this persona out of the love and appreciation; I had for the ordinary men who transformed themselves into incredible divas. My reflection in the mirror revealed a very handsome man plus with the effect and feel of the crepe hair, anyone near or far would be hard pressed to believe I was not the real thing.

So when Halloween arrived, I completed the look by wearing a black shirt, black pants, cowboy boots, cowboy hat, a belt with 6 pair of handcuffs and finished off with a pair of six guns. As I walked into the bar in my friend Eva walked past me saying “Hey look it’s the Marlboro Man!”
I couldn’t help myself and called out to her “Girl, It’s me Gina.” She came back around and took a longer look,” Oh my God, I never would have recognized you.”
“See I told you you’d be surprised by the transformation.”
“Damn Gina, it even feels real! What was your drag name again?”
“Midnight Cowboy.” I responded
“Ok then Midnight, it is for the night” And with that, she left to go outside for a smoke.
My next target Tracey, the bartender recognized me easy enough by setting me up with a cold Budweiser “How did you know it was me?”
“Gina don’t you remember, you gave me a lot of hints. But I have to admit you really look like a guy!”

So as the night went on this same scenario would be repeated many times over. It became quite the scandal as my friend’s would be beside me and having no clue that it was me. The surprise and shock on their faces were some the highlights of the evening.

But I must admit that I forgot just how powerfully realistic this look was. Since it was Halloween, I thought it was a great costume, but it was so realistic that when I tired to meet several ladies that night, they turned me down thinking I was a real guy instead of a lesbian!

While standing in line for the bathroom, I noticed a guy cruising me, I thought to myself, “Oh, Oh here we go!” and I was right because he comes up to me starts making small talk then begins coming onto me. I gently tell him in his ear, “Honey, I’m really a girl!” He was dumbfounded, but none the less he thinks I’m being shy and examines me even closer. “No way, it looks and feels real, come on you’re a guy!” So as I had done in the past, I had to reveal to him in no uncertain terms, that I was a real girl.

After several of these encounters with other guys, I thought to myself, maybe it was time to go home? So I went outside for one last cocktail before heading home and while I was standing there I noticed this beautiful woman looking at me. I glanced at her several times; I saw that the attraction between the two of us was very evident. So I made my way over to her introducing myself and buying her a drink. Once the introductions were done…we found ourselves at a crossroads. Because neither one of us were who we appeared to be. I turned out to be a girl in drag and she was an incredibly beautiful trans-sexual…. Hello Ms Heartbreak, I’ve been expecting you!

First dates, first kiss, first times…are so essential to how we form our ideas for love. But what does love have to do with it? Today, everyone has their own perception of what love should be. Some of the most common reasons are for romance, solid relationship, compatibility, future, financial stability, kids, etc…While some of might settle for a lesser version of the dream, it is our own unique vision that keeps us out there searching for love.

I have come across women, who have actual lists of things someone must have before they will even date?

Here is a short list of examples:

20 – 30’s: how active are they? Fun-side can be anything from playing games to drinking, feeling invincible to everyday issues, interests etc…

30- 40’s: ambitions, focus, direction, wanting a family, plans or dreams for a future, etc,,,,

40 – 50’s: Financial stability, relationship with family and friends, over-all health, must have their own car, rent or own their own home, retirement plans, etc…

While some points like personality, when was the last relationship, honesty, communication, appearance, etc… can transcend all age groups, there are significant differences as we get older.

It is in the early course of dating that we can believe our search for love is over. No matter what the age, we put away all our insecurities and give into our hearts with our best efforts for another chance at love. It takes time to really get to know one another, but I think as women, we are more susceptible to rushing into a relationship without much thought relying more on the passion or emotional connections from the new encounter.

In a moment things can change, we go out to the bar to have a few cocktails with the hopes of meeting someone. In that instant, when you first speak to someone, chemistry has a funny way of taking over. It can be over-whelming, when our basic human instincts take over, but can chemistry be confused for love or passion for heart-felt emotion?

For some women sex can be just a physical act, often times this can be enough to sustain us but for other’s the need to love and be loved, is so strong that sex is not just a physical act but a commitment. It is so important to communicate your wants and needs with the people you meet or intend to date. A friend of mine always had this great line when asking someone out, she would say “Are you in it for a good time or a long time?”. It is an honest enough statement, I’m just not sure how truthful someone’s answer can be. There has to be some connection, passion, chemistry in order to be intimate with someone in the first place.

I know some of you are thinking this is not always true, a case in point would be someone who is considered a player. It is the one’s who do not disclose that can potentially cause someone a lot of emotional distress.

It is not unlike our parent’s time, where people married and literally stayed together, “Until death do us part”. There are so many of us wishing to experience even a small part of their success. This may form our first initial version of love and it changes as we begin to experience it for ourselves, we then begin tailoring this idea to fit our own wants and needs.

In the span of 30 yrs of being out, I have met a few couples who have made it pass the 20 year mark and it holds true for every successful relationship. What is the secret? I always ask…” We love each other very much and know that no matter what life throws at us. We are there for each other. A strong faith and respect for one another as we allow each other to be who we really are with no illusions. The unique qualities of who we are as individuals makes us stronger as a couple. As well as appreciating the fact that love does have a lot to do with it, but so does trust, respect, commitment, communication, etc… That life is not always sunshine and rainbows but that in the heat of any storm, you must weather the tough times to really appreciate what we have and share together.”

If we are lucky enough to find love then we must be willing to accept the responsibilities that go along with it. Even if it means putting aside our own egos, our own wants and needs as we strive to encourage one another’s dream. Though life can often become predictable or comfortable. It is too easy to give into the temptation for the sake of feelings that come along with new love. But what is left over when the new wears off and you find that life with this new person is not what you envisioned, but a cheap imitation of an ever elusive dream that will not stand the test of time.

There are many things I have come to realize, while in my search for love, the most important is that I cannot change the person I am, intense, romantic, passionate, complex, loving and forever the dreamer. Who will put it all on the line for one more chance at the fairytale…Hello Ms. Heartbreak, I’ve been expecting you!

This battle of wills must go back to the beginning of time itself. In the heat of an argument no one ever really wins…because depending on your perspective you are either the victim or the bad guy. Screaming, shouting, emotional outbursts can tear at the fabric of any relationship. Communication can also become nonexistent as each individual tries to solve the issue within themselves. Often times they may go to bed angry instead of resolving the issue. Whose purpose does this really serve? Think of it two people laying in the dark so angry that the very thought of brushing up or contact with your partner angers you even more. The act of trying to fall asleep becomes difficult as your mind re-runs the argument over and over again like a scene from a movie.

Was the argument really worth all the anger and heated words? Taking the time to listen to each other and being able to say “I’m sorry”, is certainly of more value. What of all the words of love, passion, encouragement, support, etc… now forgotten as we dwell on the anger instead.

Often times when we find ourselves emotional and distraught over the issues in our lives, we are left feeling unworthy, used, disappointed, etc…that we are unsure what next move are might be?

I heard a story long ago that has always been so meaningful to me and I would like to share it with you…As the story goes a young man was head over heels in love with his fiancé, but felt unworthy of her because he had so much to accomplish. He asked his preacher, who listened quietly to his story and when he finished the preacher just nodded then said, “My son, I feel what you are telling me, if you love this girl? Then just be honest and truthful and give her chance to respond from her heart.”

So the young man goes to the fiancé’s home and tells her that he needed to talk to her. She sits down very calmly instantly having doubts in her mind about the relationship.

“I don’t know an easy way to say this…but it is sincerely how I feel. I love you with all my heart and there are so many things I want for the both of us, the climb up that mountain of success will not be an easy one. So I want to call off the wedding until I reach the top, so that you don’t have to suffer along with me. Then once I am successful, I will come back for you and we can really begin our new life together.”

She took a deep breath looking lovingly into his eyes and responded, “My love, you should know me better then that by now. I love you with all my heart and I understand your concern. But if I cannot climb that mountain of success with you and enduring all the good, the bad, the ugly, etc…Then I don’t want to be there when you reach the top. We are strong together and within our love we have the power to overcome mountains.”

The young man sat back speechless realizing that she was right, the real power of their love was that they were already successful and the ascent up the mountain had already begun.

Things can change in an instant; it is all a matter of your perception and making the conscience decision to make a choice that can effect whatever issues you may be dealing with. The energy being put into being happy is certainly more valuable then anger.

It takes a stronger person to be willing to apologize working to get the communication and relationship back on track. The reality and struggles are small in comparison with the bigger picture of living a life in love with your partner. No matter if it is in the good times or bad.

Gina Landeau
Hello Ms. Heartbreak, I’ve been expecting you!

While many of us make the effort to change for the better and begin reaching out to new opportunities. They are those, who are safe in their own little world, never changing or desiring what is out of their comfort zone. I believe there is the possibility of re-visiting the past. But you have to have learned the tough lesson of why the romance failed in the first place. It takes courage to walk out on that limb and take the chance for ”one more time”. It also has to be the desire of both parties willing to take the first steps in exploring a new chance at love.

I have learned unique lessons from the women I have dated…sometimes repeating the same mistakes but also finding new clarity in a situation that perhaps I did not see before.

I dated Christina for a period of 3 months, I thought she was my dream come true and told her as much. Then while lying in bed that night, she asked “What am I suppose to do with that?”

I was shocked by her revelation…she continued “I am far from perfect and am working on trying to better myself. Yet you put me on a pedestal and say I am your dream come true. How can I ever live up to your expectations?”

“Christina, I meant it as a compliment. We both have had our own unique struggles and are working toward a better future. I admire you for the obstacles you have overcome and I find the courage to tackle my own issues. The statement was never intended as an insult”, I tried to desperately explain my words.

It was as if my words instantly changed her, “You have a lot of great qualities that I like, but we want different things and our values are different. I am sorry but I cannot say that you are my dream come true, because in the light of day, I just don’t see this relationship working.”

So though we had a great beginning, the first month brought some incredible disclosures on both our parts. The second month became more strained as the reality began to give way to the challenges of everyday life.

The third month was incredibly difficult, I allowed her to control certain aspects of the romance that created a lot of turmoil and uncertainty. I had also made a decision to close my business and was trying to discover a new path for myself. Unknowingly trying to follow Christina footsteps instead of my own and feeling the impact of her every word of not being good enough for her.

So after 2 years of changes on both our parts, Christina and I would see each other from time to time and my heart always wept for the loss. There have been other relationships for both of us, but there was a special chemistry between us that was hard to deny. She may have been able to turn off the emotional connection but I for whatever reason could not let go of the dream. There were times that I saw her and all the negative feelings about the relationship would come back, leaving me even more disillusioned. While other times I could not help but wonder with all the changes in our lives, if there might not be a chance for a new beginning and a fresh start with a better understanding of each other.

All in all, I loved her then and truth be told I love her still! She has just entered into a new live in relationship and I do wish her love with all the incredible moments that go with it. Though she acknowledges the changes in our lives…I had always hoped for one more time…but this is my own desire and love cannot grow with only half a heart…Ultimately I wanted her to have her dream come true even if it was with another, I know that the dream still resides within my own heart and someday if I am very lucky…I will find my dream come true in the arms of a very special lady!

Until next time dear readers have faith, a new adventure is just around the corner…contact me at HelloMsHeartbreak@yahoo.com

Unanswered questions, thoughts and words
looking into the silence for what is hidden in our minds, creating  illusions that exist no where but there
recalling the past searching for clues to decipher
what is the true reality?

Can our mind overcome the dreams of our heart?
how far must we travel along this winding road?

In the silence, we can often find solace
or remember only what was? and not envision what could be?

Gina Landeau
Hello Ms Heartbreak, I’ve been expecting you!

This inability of mine has always made slightly more difficult for me to approach the lipstick femmes, which I am always so drawn to. It also comes down to a basic shyness, so in a lethal combination of both. I often find myself unable or unwilling to approach a lady of interest. Often times I might have friends run interference or the liquid courage from a couple of cocktails, which then enables me to go over and talk to her. Another useful technique is sending the lady a drink or just good old fashioned observation. Just because she might come into the bar alone doesn’t mean she is going to stay that way.

I have gotten into the habit of the later…observation….watching certain ladies over a period of time instead of approaching too quickly. Believe it or not this can often save you a lot of drama. Things are not always as they seem and by watching someone you often will see little tell tell signs that might reveal, if they are single, just out of relationship, currently has a partner etc…

But you don’t always find your interest in a bar, where your gaydar doesn’t need to be exact, after all if they are in a gay establishment. Chances are pretty good that they are there for the same reason you are. To meet someone…What do you do, if you cross paths with someone of interest at the Dr’s office, restaurant, coffee shop, library, etc…?

I am in query of sorts having met someone at the local library, but I don’t know if the interest is mutual. I had lost my computer due to a power surge and a friend suggested that I go to the library for computer use and access. I had not been in a library since my school days and upon entering the library, there in front of me was a vision, who suddenly renewed my interest. She stood 5’2 shoulder length dark brown hair, big brown eyes, fair skinned and wearing a pressed simple white shirt, as she stepped from behind the desk to lead me to the computer area, I noticed her full length black skirt cut just so that it showed off her great legs. I couldn’t help but sigh in appreciation of a beautiful lady. I kept my composure and anxiously waited for my next visit and there would be many to follow. I kept trying to figure her out and made idle chit chat in order to get any possible hint of interest from her.

One day I stopped by on my way to a job interview dressed very professionally, a departure from the jeans, t-shirts and ball cap which was my usual attire. When I walked in, it was as if Ms. Librarian really saw me for the first time, I noticed her looking me up and down with a smile as her eyes sparkled with appreciation…probably the same look I’d been giving her each time I came by.

It is difficult in a situation like this to answer the tough question, is she or isn’t she gay and whether she would go out with me for dinner or drinks? I do think there is a mutual interest judging by our brief conversations. But then again I must admit as a writer, my mind can often create an illusion of a scene that may not be all that it seems. The creative process and artistic vision can often go hand in and creating some incredible scenarios.

I am not sure what my next step should be. Since my gaydar is non-existent, I could always ask a friend to give me their opinion on her. Maybe I will give her this copy this story. That could easily resolve my conflict and the issue of is she or isn’t she?

Stay tuned to see how this story continues to unfold…Until next time have faith the next adventure is just around the corner! Contact me at HelloMsHeartbreak@yahoo.com.

an unexpected illumination that can cause devastation
when it hits the ground
or just bright light that rips across a darken sky

it can hit you as suddenly as a moment
dreams, hopes, hearts breaking apart with no warning
just a tremendous boom
that reaches down to your bones, your very soul
in that second your heart breaks
just as in that instant it became alive

Funny how things good or bad
can effect us so quickly as a second
the pitfalls of love and life defined
as lightening thundering across the sky
sometimes signalling a beginning or an end

Gina Landeau

Hello Ms Heartbreak, I’ve been expecting you!

HelloMsHeartbreak@yahoo.com

As a lesbian nearing 30 years of being out, I finally felt compelled to write an article about bi-sexual women and to put a different spin on the ongoing debates about them. There are those who embrace them and those who dismiss them as soon as the word bisexual is uttered. I find there are as many different types of bisexuals as there are lesbians. Each woman coming with their own unique thoughts and ideas about what being a bisexual is.

If I am talking to a lady of interest and she divulges in those few minutes of meeting that she is bi, it is usually followed up with this question…,
“Does that bother you? Because I have had some bad experiences with lesbians who have read me the riot act, because I say I am bi.”

If I am interested in going out with the lady then my next response is “Well, what are you right now?” This usually will bring about a smile as they relax realizing that I am not one of those lesbians who are going to verbally attack them. I have always found that after going out on that first date, they are honest and clearly state their intentions of whom they want to date. I’ve have had many successful dates with bi women and really find them no different then the average lipstick lesbian.

In retrospect we have more choices today, in our search for love and that includes the increasing amount of women who find themselves coming out at different stages of their life. While there those who come out in their teens, there are ladies who after being married for many years find the courage to come out late in life and want to begin a new life, perhaps as a lesbian. I read a story many years ago about a woman who came out at the age of 78 years , can you imagine making such a step? Love, heartbreak and the choices we make to live our lives is hard enough without experiencing prejudice from other women.

As a writer it is always interesting to get other people’s point of view on this subject and others, it is often in their opinions that I find the elusive answer. There can be some very strong opinions on whether or not to date a bisexual. I don’t understand women, who won’t date someone simply because they have been with a man. We all have our pasts, isn’t the present more important?

The thoughts of a friend made everything seem a little clearer. She had married a man, though she had occasional encounters with women in her past. Yet as a couple they have managed to find the right ingredients for a life in love with one another. I felt that Vicky’s opinion was an important ingredient to this article and asked for her input.

Vicky explained very simply, “Gina, though I have been with women, when I met my husband I fell in love with who he was, the person, it wasn’t an issue of man or woman. When real love finally found me, it was in his eyes that I saw my life.”

We all have a past, whether it includes being with only men or women or both, it is due to each of our own individual experiences that we choose, who to love and ultimately make a life with. Bisexuality is a lifestyle…I don’t think there is a greater risk for heartbreak. Love is what you make it and for those who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, straight, etc…it is this variety that makes life ever so much more interesting. The ability to just be who we are without judgment, after all who are we to throw stones in glass houses.

So to me it is not a question of to date or not date a bisexual. The bigger question is why would we as lesbians frown upon a woman who has had an encounter with men. As women should we not be more accepting and more open with each other? The past is just that and there are so many women out there who are looking for love and for some it is not an issue of gender. It is an issue of finding your Mr. or Ms. Right and seeing yourself living a life in love with one another. I feel like most bisexual women get a bad rap, and I believe each person should be seen for who they are and not who they choose to sleep with.

Gina Landeau
Hello Ms Heartbreak, I’ve been expectig you!
Until next week, have faith, the next adventure is just around the corner!

You can contact me HelloMsHeartbreak@yahoo.com