If you lack confidence when it comes to making conversation on a first date, relax because everything you need to know is right here. Making conversation is simple.

The main reason that men end up feeling that they blew their first date is because they forgot they were talking to a woman.  Girls expect to be the center of your attention so when you go off for an hour on a personal subject they get turned off quickly.

It is perfectly OK to tell your buddy how you are really all about dating Indian women or the last time you ran into your ex-girlfriend and how she has gone downhill since the two of you broke up. It is definitely not ok to tell
this to a girl on your first date.

This is called “too much information” and you definitely do not want to do this on a first date.  Too much information can be anything from a detailed run down of your day to why you think your last relationship did not work.

While you want to be yourself as much as possible you also want to make a good first impression.  At first this may seem like a hard thing to do, but with a little practice before your date it is easy.

Do These:

Be a gentleman. Most girls are more impressed by what you do than what you say so this is your first priority.  Open doors, pull out chairs, and get the bill.  You can bet she is going to tell her girlfriends all about what a great date she had because you were so attentive to her.

Have a plan. By knowing exactly what the two of you will be doing on your date, you can control how much time you
will have to make conversation.  Two or three hours are plenty of time for a first date.

Practice small talk prior to the date. If you think this is a waste of your time you are dead wrong. The most common topics are listed with an example of what you could say.

Work-“I’ve found I like ___most about my job and I’m looking forward to  moving up in the company”, or “I’ve been     thinking about learning ___, it could be great for my career”.

Money-“I’ve always felt those who are willing to work hard will achieve their  goals” or “It’s a good feeling to be financially secure”.

Ex-girlfriend-“I’d like to think that we both recognized it was time to move on,  I wish her the best”, or “Although it did not work out between us, I wish her the best”.

Politics-“These are crazy times but I’d rather talk about you”.

Family-“The great thing about my family is ___”, or “I really admire my parents”.

Avoid These:

Spending the whole time talking compulsively about you.  She will think you are a jerk.

Bragging about you. You can make a better impression if you are modest about your success.

Trying to force conversation. Sometimes there will be a lag in conversation, if this happens simply smile at her and ask her to tell you about her favorite hobby or the latest book she read and liked.

Telling her she is wrong. She may be wrong about something but now is not the time to tell her.  Just smile and ask her to tell you more but make a mental note.

The bottom line is that this is a first date and you want her to have a good impression of you.  The best rule a guy can have is to let her do most of the talking because girls like to talk about themselves.

If you show appropriate interest in what she is saying, she will think you are awesome.  You can show appropriate interest by actually listening what she says and then asking a follow up question.

Remember to keep the conversation positive so if she says she is thinking about taking a new job you could say “That’s great, what would you like to do in your new career?”  When it is your turn and she asks you a question you still want to answer with a positive attitude but remember to keep it short.

This just means using positive words to describe any subject she brings up.  Saying you enjoyed ___ or ___ has been a great experience and then turn the conversation back to something that she wants to talk about.

Over the course of several dates you will get to know her better and have a better idea if she is someone you want to see again.  You do not want to overwhelm her on the first date by telling her every horrible thing about your life.

Guys, it is simple to keep the conversation going and avoid giving her too much information on the first date. Remember that she is going to be impressed by your actions so be a gentleman at all times.

Practice how you will respond to the most common topics in advance and do not get freaked out if there is a pause in the conversation.  This is where your listening skills pay off simply ask her to tell you more about something she said she likes.

A last word of caution; never go into details about highly personal things during the course of the first few dates.  To spell it out, never talk about your hygiene habits, mention details about doctors appointments, or talk about how you enjoy East Indian dating and have had the best dates with women from Shaddi.com.

That is just gross and it is way too much information.  Seriously, would you want to hear something like that from a girl you are just getting to know?

If you need help getting more dates, check out this article on using social networks to get more dates.

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About The Expert

On our About the Expert page, you can learn more about the author, including contact information and other posts they've written. About Ashok S.