You are single, and curious to meet someone new. You browse through the personals online or profiles on a dating website. You like what they have to say and want to respond. What do you do now? What is the best way to respond? How is your response going to differ from the other people responding?

I know this seems like a fairly easy thing to do, you hit the reply button and write a note. For some reason, the Internet “comfort zone” has gotten so relaxed that people are often responding without any thought to the person on the receiving end. A positive attitude, compliments, manners, grammar, salutations, effort, and a little thought go a long way.

Please do not simply write one line, only ask for a picture, send a risky photo, mention your ex-wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, or negative online experience. For example, ”I hope you are as cute as your profile, and the age you posted. I’ve had bad experiences and am not interested in women who are overweight or over the age of x.” Hello! Your previous experiences have nothing to do with this person. What about that is supposed to entice anyone to be interested in dating you?

There are obvious risks and some misrepresentation. However, for the most part, people are honest, look like their photos, and have their profiles posted because they want to make a connection off line.

Please do put your best foot forward, read the profile a second time, and pick a few things that make this person interesting to you. Actually responding to what someone has written makes a much better impression than “I like your profile” and then posting a form letter about yourself. The less you say in your profile, the more you need to say in your note. So if you don’t state your profession, mention it. If you don’t have a photo posted, mention it…remember a profile paints a picture for the person reading it. If your canvas is blank, fill it in. The same is true for responding to personal ad. If the person doesn’t have a picture posted, please don’t simply ask for a photo and nothing else. Send a thoughtful response and then THE LAST LINE say “When you are comfortable, I’d love to see your photo.” I know that a picture tells a story, and we do get a feel for people based on their photos. However, not posting a photo doesn’t mean someone will not be a good partner or that they are not attractive. There are plenty of people who are simply “shy” or private. Taking a few minutes to really read their profile, and respond to the written content separates you from the people who are just sending form notes, one liners, or asking for photographs. “Hi (screen name) I really enjoyed reading your profile, and you are very attractive. I like the photo of you at the beach. Where was that taken? I appreciate that are an animal lover. I grew up with a German Sheppard until I was in college. I look forward to having another dog once my remodeling project ends. I see you recently moved to town, I’d love to show you some of my favorite spots. We both share a love for Italian food, the outdoors, and foreign films. I am a corporate attorney and prefer to keep my personal life private, and chosen not to post a photo. I hope you can be patient with me until we speak and have determined mutual interest in meeting. I am 5’10”, 165 pounds, with blonde hair, and blue eyes. I look forward to learning more about you and hopefully meeting. Sincerely, Bob”

I hope that helps and wish you all the best of luck in love!

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