After a couple months of good hibernation and soul searching, I decided to enter back into the dating world refreshed and with a new perspective, a perspective that has changed my outlook on dating, relationships and even love.
When I was a young gal, receiving any kind of attention from a male was good, great in fact. Any man could make me feel special and wanted. I guess you could say, at that point in my life, I didn’t have a type of man that I typically dated. I dated any guy that came along.
Love is like finding that perfect pair of shoes that not only fits you just right, but goes with every single outfit you own. This is the pair of shoes that you know will last you a lifetime and even when you wear them thin, you never stop wearing them holes and all.
I have always had a tendency with retail shopping to find that shirt that fits okay and those shoes that only go with one outfit. I was never picky with shopping and interestingly enough, this behavior transferred over to dating as well.
Statement: I am shy. Yes, folks, you heard it right. I am very shy when it comes to men that I like and find quite attractive. I can talk and flirt with every guy in a room except the one that I am interested in. Not only will I not talk to him, but I will completely ignore him.
Like I was saying before, I used to only date the men that would come along and these were only the men that would come up to me not vice versa. Ha! What a mistake that was. Not only a mistake, but the number one dating no-no. Never date someone you are not really attracted to or interested in from the get go.
I call these people: the grow-on-mes. I wasn’t really interested, they didn’t really have most of the qualities I was looking for. They just simply grew on me to the point where I actually did start to develop feelings for them.
Okay so back to my shoe story:
I began to realize that I was picking up men the way that I pick up shoes at Macy’s. I would look for only short time, get frustrated that I wouldn’t find anything and then just settle for a pair/guy that looked okay, was only somewhat comfortable and only slightly fit my qualifications. Hello! Why didn’t I see this before? This would have saved me so much time and heartache. Unfortunately, you only learn these lessons after you have run into the same brick wall over and over again. After this realization smacked me in the head like Naomi Campbell’s cellphone, I created a little exercise for myself. My first stop: DSW shoe store.
As some of you may know, DSW shoe stores are massive and have hundreds of shoe styles and colors. My exercise was to go into DSW and find one pair of shoes that fit, was comfortable, looked good, could match with everything in my closet and was something that I had to have. Normally, I would walk in, stay for 30 minutes and either leave or find something that was mediocre within those 30 minutes.
Let me tell you, I was in that damn shoe store for two hours! Fortunately, I came out victorious and with a fab pair of shoes that tickled my pickle.
After my successful shopping score, I felt ready for the dating scene again. Because getting over my shyness would take some time, I decided to start small. Small meaning not really picking up men in person, but on the internet.
Have any of you ever tried Craigslist dating? I think Craigslist really does get a bad reputation. I thought Craigslist was only for scumbags and one-night-stands, but to my surprise there are some pretty legitimate people on there.
Stay tuned for my adventures and advice on Craigslist dating in my next article.
The Moral of this Story:
I know this may seem obvious to most of you (it seemed obvious to me), but remember to date that lifetime pair of shoes and not the uncomfortable pair that just sits in your closet collecting dust. I know for a fact that some of you out there have settled with your current significant other. Sadly, you are dating a grow-on-me and honey, those shoes will never be comfortable enough to wear every day.
————————————————————
About the Author: Lauren Fernandez is a young serial dater in the city. She loves chocolate, cuddling and long walks on the beach. Lauren is that shoulder to cry on and that friend who will slap you out of a horrible relationship. Take a trip with her through her successes and failures within the San Francisco dating scene, as she blindly finds her way to love and helps you along the way.
Rate This Post:
Did you like this article? Submit it to your favorite social bookmarking sites:
Comments:
Be First To Comment
Sorry, you must register to leave comments.