You’ve gone out a few times – coffee, dinner, to the movies or a concert. Things are really going well, and when you say “Good night,” you find yourself following up with, “I’d like to cook dinner for you.” After the good-night kiss, you find yourself thinking, “What have I agreed to?” You really like this new guy or girl, and you don’t want to ruin what’s been going well so far.

No worries. I know as well as anyone how nerve-wracking it can be to cook for a date for the first time. Here are some tips that I’ve found have helped me.

First, for both sexes:

· Ask about allergies, intolerances, and religious or health-related dietary restrictions well in advance. You don’t to end your evening in the ER because of an unfortunate incident with chicken satay with peanut sauce, or knock yourself out making pork tenderloin and rosemary potatoes only to find out your date keeps kosher and is doing a low-carb diet.

· Observe what your date orders when you’re out. If that doesn’t give you enough information, ask, “Is there anything you absolutely cannot stand (or absolutely love)?”

· Even if you’re in the restaurant industry, this is not a good time to make something that you’ve never made before or that involves a hundred ingredients and three hours of prep time.

· Plan for a weekend night if you can. If you can’t, do as much prep as you can in advance.

· Do a deep cleaning well in advance so that all you have to do is straighten up a bit the day before or the day of your date.

· If your date’s from another culture, should you make something from that culture’s culinary tradition? Good question. On the one hand, he or she might think it’s thoughtful; on the other hand, you don’t want to be perceived as competing with their mother or grandmother for who can make the best marinara or vindaloo.

· If you have pets, feed them before you start cooking and give them a treat either when your date arrives or before you sit down. That way, they will be less likely to beg for handouts or get underfoot in the kitchen.

· Offer something to nibble on or something to drink (doesn’t have to be alcohol) when they arrive.

· Pair a light meal with a rich dessert and a heavy meal with a light dessert.

· Think this could be “the night”? Try some of these foods that are natural aphrodisiacs (without being obvious), according to gourmetsleuth.com and Jacqui Malouf, author of Booty Food: cheese, eggs, seafood, asparagus, avocados, potatoes (really), tomatoes, garlic, peppers (chili and bell), mushrooms, carrots, raspberries, strawberries. And don’t forget chocolate for dessert!

Next, for the women:

· Relax. I know there’s still a lot of pressure on us to be domestic goddesses, but most men just appreciate that you’re willing to cook for them and don’t care whether the feta in the Greek salad is French or Bulgarian.

· Most men (vegetarians aside) love meat. If you don’t have a lot of money or self-confidence, stir-fries, chili, stews and curries are great ways to stretch out a little bit of meat. If you do feel like cooking a huge chunk of meat, repeat after me: “The Crock-Pot is my friend.”

· Do you have a grill? Make him feel useful – do everything but cooking the meat in advance, then when he arrives, ask him if he’d be kind enough to fire up the grill for you. Most men cannot resist the invitation to play with fire and raw meat.

Next, for the guys:

· Most (though not all) women, regardless of size, are weight-conscious. Keep it light, unless she orders meatball subs and cheese fries or a 16-ounce steak every time you go out.

· Don’t serve brats, Italian sausage, or anything else that might be taken the wrong way.

· Weight-conscious or not, many women do have a sweet tooth. If you live near an ice cream stand or parlor, suggest a walk or a drive there for dessert. If your tastes are similar, split a sundae or milkshake; it’s a sweet, old-school way to bond.

Finally, some advice for the completely clueless. If your culinary skills extend to having the digits of a dozen pizza shops stored in your cell phone, there’s still hope. There’s a reason why characters in romantic comedies are always cooking pasta. First, it’s fun – who doesn’t love the spaghetti scene in “Lady and the Tramp”? Second (and more importantly for you), it’s really hard to screw up. Here are some simple steps:

1. Use your biggest pot (like the stockpot Grandma gave you for your last birthday). Fill with cold water, and add about a tablespoon of olive or canola oil. Put pot on the stove to boil.

2. Take the bowl you want to use to serve the pasta. Fill it about halfway with pasta and cook only that amount (pasta expands when it cooks).

3. Follow the package directions depending on your taste. “Al dente” means there’s still a little firmness (but not crunchiness!); it literally means “to the teeth” in Italian. If you don’t like that, just cook to regular tenderness, but do not overcook.

4. How can you tell when the pasta’s done? Fresh pasta will float; so will filled pastas such as tortellini and ravioli, and most small dried pastas, assuming you followed rule 1 and gave it enough room to float. For long pasta, do what I call “the Mom test” – take out a strand (carefully, please) and throw it against your kitchen cupboards. If it sticks, it’s done.

5. If any pasta seems to be sticking together, you can rinse it with warm water. Drain thoroughly.

6. Toss with the sauce (if you’re using it) before you bring it to the table.

Most importantly, remember to have fun, and if some disaster happens, a sense of humor is just as attractive as mad skills in the kitchen. A stash of takeout menus doesn’t hurt either.

Meghan K. Donovan is a creative spirit moonlighting as an office manager and freelance writer. She lives in Cleveland, Ohio with her two almost-human cats. She believes in God and in the power of chocolate to heal most ills, and loves many things and people, including her boyfriend of three years, Matthew.

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