Dating is exciting. You’re getting to know each other and all seems well (or so it seems). Suddenly he seems a bit “off”. Check if you’ve asked him one or more of these dreaded relationship questions. In guy parlance they are “Questions For Which There Is No Right Answer” (that won’t get me in trouble). Here they are.
1. Does This Make Me Look Fat? (The classic No Right Answer question)
Chances are you already know the answer, but you’re looking for validation. Against his better judgment he may venture one of the following:
“No, honey, it doesn’t matter what you wear (wrong answer).
“No, not really…” (Worse answer).
“Depends what you mean by fat,” (the worst answer).
Ladies and gentlemen – there is no right answer to this question.
2. The Fake a Heart Attack Question
After 3 months, out of the blue, you ask him: “On a scale of 1-10, where 1 is we’ve just met, and 10 is we’re married, where would you put our relationship? And where would you put us on that scale in a year?”
Answer: The mere asking of this question will have him running as fast as possible in the other direction… or questioning your sanity.
3. The Trap
Where you point at a passing woman who’s obviously stunningly beautiful (and if you’re being honest, is noticeably more attractive than you) and ask him “Do you think she’s hot?”
Answer: Most men will recognize this question for the trap that it is.
4. The Declaration
After waiting all of two weeks, tactically deciding to say “I love you,” to him first, to squeeze a response out of him. If his response is unacceptable, go for broke with the old favourite (but potentially disastrous) “You love me… don’t you?”
(Remember, if he’s framing his response and looks up and left he’s lying. Or is it up and right? Heck, if he looks up, he’s lying).
5. The Single Male Friends question
Where you silkily ask “Do we really need to spend time with long-time single male friend [A], long-time single male friend [B], old single male school friend [C]… “Because I really like wet casual acquaintance but married male friend [D] and his partner [E]. I like her.”
Hint: This is likened to a Claymore mine. Mines have a tendency of blowing up relationships somewhat quickly.
6. The Scary Question
Where you’re into the relationship, at least semi-regular sex has begun and you suggest: “Do we really still need to use condoms? We’re comfortable with each other’s history and I am on the pill after all.” (Much, MUCH scarier if you’re 35 years of age or more and don’t have kids). Likely to trigger exit plans.
7. The No Way Out Question
Where you ask: “Am I better in bed than your ex?” (Or words to that effect).
8. The Ultimate Insult
“Why don’t you just ask for directions?” or its equally explosive alternative “Why don’t you just read the instructions?”
9. The Impossible Question
In a shoe store ask him “Which of these five pairs of shoes do you like better?
Watch him look for the nearest wall to bang his head on.
10. The Moving Question
Where you ask “Is it ok if I bring some of my stuff to your place? Just some clothes and a pillow or so…nothing much.” The severity of his reaction to this is inversely proportional to the quality and frequency of the sex.
So there you have it. To get the most of your online dating experience and your relationship in general, just avoid asking these land-mine questions and you’ll both be happy for it.
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