“My ex and I dated for a year and 6 months. During that time he cheated on me and lied to me on numerous occasions.
I had a feeling something was going on with him and someone at the gym. I confronted him about it and he denied it. Then I saw on his facebook that what I thought was true. He was trying to get with a girl that he hung out at the gym with. I printed out the conversations he about her and showed him. He then said that he was afraid that I was going to leave him and he didn’t want to e alone because I would try and break up with him all the time. We separated for a bit and got back together after he said everything would be different. I told him to not speak to her because of the situation. He he said no because she might want fitness advice. So that upset me, but he wouldn’t stop talking to her. After a while he stopped going in the day time to the gym so that he wouldn’t bump into her and he would invite me to gym with him. Things started to get better after that.
Then a while later more events occurred. He is a very flirtatious guy. He would take his female coworkers home after work and not show up for a while. I found phone records of him talking back and forth with females that he knew. He would say he was just driving them home, but the records showed that he was on the phone with them for that hour he would be gone.
Then there was one girl he would talk to and say that the only way to get rid of her was to talk to her. So he was always on the phone with her and hid that fact. I found very sexual messages on is phone going back and forth between them. He kept saying that she was crazy and the only way to get rid of her was to talk to her.
He would always lie to me about who he was talking to one the phone. he said that he did that because he didn’t want me to get upset.
Then his gay guy friend came to my house and showed me conversations that they were having. My ex was taking pictures of his penis and sending them to him and talking very dirty with him. I confronted him about that and all he could say was sorry. He pleaded with me to stay with him and he said everything would be different. I took him back again hoping things would change.
Then he pulled a stunt where he stayed out all night and didn’t come back until morning. I was calling everyone I could because I thought he was hurt. He came and said that he knew I would call everyone and that’s why he told his friend to say that he wasn’t there. That made me crazy. He did that a few more times saying that he was with his friend all night playing video games. I finally ended up in the hospital because all of his lies were taking there toll on me. I couldn’t reach him while I was in the hospital and he had my phone. He only visited me once while I was there.
Then in December of last year I finally broke up with him. It hurt but i was finally starting to be happy. I felt great. I felt free. Then he contacted me in February saying he wanted to give it another try. So, I reluctantly did and I still felt like something wasn’t right. He wouldn’t visit me as much. Then I told him that we can’t be together because he’s still lying, but he denied that. So we broke up after being together for a few weeks. Then I get a phone call from a girl claiming to be his girlfriend, wondering why my number is in his phone. I told her that we were dating and she said that’s impossible because they were dating. So, we both met up at his job to confront him and he lied in her face saying that he wasn’t doing anything with me. After that I blocked his number.
Then a little time passed by and he came to my apartment. He said all he wanted to be was friends. I couldn’t even look at him because he hurt me again. I said no and he went on his way. That was in March.
Three weeks ago he came to my doorstep again, but this time he looked different. He said he was sorry for everything he had done to me. He couldn’t even look me in the eye. Then he walked back down to the car he came in. He had a really hard time doing that, so I was wondering what was wrong with him. So, I go back inside and I hear a knock at the door. It’s his brother in law. He says that my ex (let’s call him mike) really in a bad place right now suffering from Anxiety and depression. He’s in and out of the hospitals because of that and his seizures that he developed over the past couple of months. He can’t drive so that’s why his brother in law brought him over. He said that all mike was asking for was to talk to me the whole time he was in the hospital and while at home. So he’s wondering if I could talk to him.
It turns that the girl he was with a few months ago did the same thing to him that he did to me and that messed him up big time. A few days ago I had to take him to the emergency room because he overdosed on Xanax. He didn’t want to go so when he saw that I was pulling into the parking lot, he took the steering whell and almost caused us to crash. So I had to pull into a gas station to call for an ambulance.He saw that I was doing that and ran down the street, but the cops caught up with him. I stayed with him in the ER for 2 hours until he was discharged. They didn’t keep him because he said he wasn’t trying to harm himself.
So, all he wants his me and for the past few days I’ve been with him and all he can do is cry and say things will be different. He says that he can’t live with out me. Mike says that now he knows what it feels like to be put though what he put me through and that he will never do that again. So now he knows how it feels and wonders why I’m finding it difficult to trust him. He wants to give us another chance because he says that he loves me and I’m the only one for him and that he was trying to forget me and that’s why he was with that girl in the first place.
But here’s the thing. Mike always pops back into my life when I’m starting to feel really good. I don’t know why, but every single time I start to fell hsppy, he shows up somehow. This time he’s a total wreck because now he knows what it’s like to be hurt. I found this great guy and I’m dating him. He is everything mike isn’t. He’s one of the sweetest guys out there, but since mike came back, I’m starting to have doubts. I don’t feel the same connection between this guy as I did for mike in the very beginning stages of our relationship. This guy is great, but I just don’t fell the connection and I’m starting to withdraw from him. Sex is a major thing for me and it’s just not up to par with what I like. Only 2 guys have been able to truly satisfy me and they were a previous ex and mike. 2 out of 5 guys. This new guy is the 5th guy and he can’t please me, but we’ve only just begun. I just know that in the past I’ve been unhappy in a relationship when sex wasn’t all that great and I left because I was so unhappy.
Anyways, Mike says things will be different because he now knows how it feels and he would never want to put me though that again. His mother even says that he’s nicer to people. But all he does is cry and he can’t eat. I still think he’s the same person, just a bit hurt. I’m afraid that we’ll get back together and he’ll start lying and cheating again. So, right now I don’t know what to do. He says things will be different, but will they? Should I just stick with this new guy who is great in every way except for the sex? I mean, I’m sure the sex will get better in time, but I also know that it might not because that has happened to me before.”
– Shay (25)
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