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mygif
January 14th, 2012 @9:51 am  

Hey Art
Your wife is VERY IMMATURE and very manipulative. You need to convince her to stop beating up on her son or she will soon have her wish and he will NEVER CONTACT her and worse yet she wont’ see those grandkids. She needs to embrace his new wife and be nice and polite and gentle with her.

Please show her my response and Suzanne’s She is blowing it big time here. But you CAN’T MAIKE HER DO ANYTHING.

John Wilder
marriagecoach1@yahoo.com

marriagecoach1.wordpress.com marriage and sex blog

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mygif
Suzanne White Montiel Said,
January 13th, 2012 @8:07 pm  

Dear Art,

Your wife needs to get some hobbies. Your wife also needs to stop being so melodramatic.

I think you’re right, that your step-son is now an adult who gets to make his own decisions without either the input or advice of his mother, or anyone else if that’s what he chooses to do.

You should remind your wife that she was a person before she had a child, and that now that she no longer has a child (because he’s now an adult), she should get back to being an individual who defines herself by more than motherhood.

The fact that she’s jealous of time your son spends with his in-laws and told her son she didn’t ever want to speak to him again just tells me she’s immature.

What this comes down to is your wife not liking change, but change has to happen. I would be very concerned about her son’s marriage if he still “did everything” with his mother and called her every day. Part of being an adult who forms romantic relationships with other adults is independence from parents.

That her son didn’t seek your wife’s approval for his choice in mate means he wanted more independence from her. Her immature, melodramatic response means he’ll have complete independence from her.

If your wife gets over herself and apologizes to her son for being such a baby, and wants to have a relationship with him, she is going to have to change. It’s no longer up to her to determine all the terms of her relationship with this fellow adult who happens to be her son. At this point in her life as a mother, your wife needs to be loving and supportive, not jealous and accusatory. It is not up to her to hate her daughter-in-law, but to love and respect the choices her son has made.

Finally, your wife needs to take a look in a mirror. Seems her silly behavior is at least partially to blame for her son not visiting more than once a year. I wouldn’t want to be around people who were openly hostile to my chosen partner, and I bet her son doesn’t either.

Sincerely,

Suzanne White Montiel
sewmontiel@yahoo.com

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