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April 3rd, 2013 @10:55 am  


My answer depends on what you want.

If you want to know about his past, that’s different than wanting to know why he won’t TELL you.

Your first mistake was waiting four YEARS for this. If his past was such a big deal, and he refused to tell you, it would have stopped you from going further. But it didn’t. Instead, you kept talking, dating, and eventually getting together. Now it’s been 4 years. At this point, does it really MATTER about his past? If he was still that person, and it was going to directly affect YOU, it probably WOULD have by now.

Now I get you’re concerned that maybe he’s been in jail before, murdered or abused someone, whatever. And that’s a valid concern. But if he’s not going to tell you, you have two choices: Accept it, or end the relationship. That’s it. None of this back & forth nonsense.

Tell him you two should be able to share everything. If he can’t (or won’t), then maybe your bond isn’t as strong as you thought it was. Play on his guilt (if he has any). Just beware. If he DOES tell you, you may not like what you HEAR. And if you can’t take it, or try to leave, he may turn psycho on you. Is it worth all that? You already said he shows sociopathic tendencies. Why not LEAVE if that bothers you? And if it DOESN’T bother you, chances are his past won’t bother you either. So why push it?
Direct. Honest. Real.

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March 29th, 2013 @6:35 pm  

Hi Jane.

You should let him just be about his past. He will share when he is ready and if he doesn’t, just enjoy the present. Perhaps he is trying to forget some bad memories or is embarrassed about things in his life. Men in general do not share the way women do and pressuring him may only put a wedge between the two of you. Enjoy what you have.

Robbie Lee, author, mentor, realist

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