Rawan Asked:
“I’ve been with a guy almost 2 yrs and he proved me that he loves me so much and I wanted to prove him how much I love him but instead of proving love I proved that I’m a lier and let’s say a cheater. He gave me trust and I ruined it, he caught me doing few things behind his back …
1st: I was so mad at him I sweared and saying bad things about him to my friend but I was mad I didn’t mean anything
2nd : he saw I have guys on twitter nd I told him I don’t have any guys and I didn’t I do not know hhow I followed guys I think I did by mistake but I didn’t know I have them he didt believe me and than I cried thaan he said he believed me but I know deep inside him that he didn’t believe me.
3rd: he asked me if do I look at guys and say that he’s hot I said no and he was like I know u do so o was nervous and said I do but not a lot.
I love him so muchi want him to trust me I want to prove to him that I love him heelpp me I don’t Want to lose him”
- Rawan (18, U.S)
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Dear Rawan,
You don’t love him and he doesn’t love you. Your idea of love is based on the extreme drama that seems to be the ridiculous, over-the-top ideal, which is not love, only excitement.
OF COURSE you look at other guys. He looks at other girls. This is human and natural. There is absolutely nothing wrong with looking at people and finding them attractive. IF you are interested in monogamy, the point is not to not be attracted to people other than your partner, but to not act on the attraction to people other than your partner.
There’s nothing wrong with you and for you to beat yourself up for your inclinations is to live an unsatisfactory life. Get over it now. You’ll be a happier person for it.
Sincerely,
Suzanne White Montiel
sewmontiel@yahoo.com
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