He Asked:
“My marriage of 7 years has fallen apart. We fought over and over with no resolve due to communication issues. I ended up pushing her away, and telling her I wanted a divorce over and over. We ended up getting an attorney and pretty much had one foot in the door. All we had to do is pay the $. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks, I didn’t want the divorce. I asked her to go to marriage counseling with me. She refused, said she had been going to individual counsleing, and had gotten to a place where she had moved on. I am devistated. I want her back, I have tried talking to her over and over again, but she says she loves me, but isn’t in love with me anymore. She says she wants to get the divorce, be good friends, and then “let’s see what happens”. I don’t know what to do. I want to be friends with her because she is the love of my life and I care so much about her, but I find it extremely difficult to turn off my feelings when I am around her. All I think about is touching her, and being intimate. She obviously rejects any of that. It’s so painful.”
- He (42, Denver, CO)
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Hey He
Boy another person that uses threats of break up to manipulate your significant other. THAT IS MANIPULATION pure and simple. You need to stop. You need to learn good conflict resolution skills. Sadly marriage counselors don’t teach this vital skill.
You should have been willing to talk to her and not fight. You rejected her and that threatened her security which is a woman’s number one need. You may have ruined it for good for yourself.
I would be willing to give you guys a half hour free consultation. If there are kids in the relationship you need to do everything in your power to restore the relationship becaues the kids of divorce and single parent households, the statistics are STAGGERING.
Finally your wife does not want to even consider having sex with you because you cut her out of your life. She will not consider it until you right the wrong that you caused.
John Wilder
marriagecoach1@yahoo.com
marriagecoach1.wordpress.com
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