Grateful Asked:

“I’m so confused and I really don’t know where to start from…we met around 20 months ago when he was deployed in the country I’m residing now. He started pursuing me so aggressively…and we both felt in love with each other so badly..His deployment was 6 months only but he assured me that he was coming back…For some reasons…he couldn’t come back..He kept calling and texting me all the times…However, I felt that something wasn’t right at his end…Of course when we met he addressed himself as a divorced man…From his actions…I had this feeling this..he is still married but is denying this for some reason…we continued our LDR..with no definite objective..as every time I used to ask him about us..his answer was that he doesn’t know for now..and that too much was going on at that point of his life between him, his ex and their daughter.

In February I travelled to his country..for a job interview and informed him about my visit a week earlier so that we could meet somewhere. He sounded so excited and agreed to meet on a certain day…We talked on the phone so many times while I was there and he kept assuring me that he is coming to see me. On the day that we planned to meet, he called early morning apologizing for not being able to meet me as he had to do his homework!!…Yes a very lame and insulting excuse…I was so shocked…and felt as if I was selling myself so short..I asked him to stop talking to me…and to focus on what he has to focus on since he kept saying to me that he is under a lot of pressure from all aspects (work wise as he was retiring from military, and his ex)…I went back to my country but he continued calling and texting me…At the beginning I ignored him..but because I truly love him I again started to reciprocate. Around 3 weeks ago, he called me saying that he was offered a job in my country and we both were so excited about it…we even started planning things together for the first time since 20 months…He said that he was negotiating with them the package..His minimum was little bit lower than what they offered him. However, he tried to negotiate with them something higher by only $2000 a year…He said that they were very receptive to his request and would get back to him after a week. Two days after he just text me saying that he declined the job because they refused to increase the package by $2000 a year. I was so upset…Is he kidding me?…Declining the offer just because they didn’t increase it by $160 a month?…I text him back trying to get clarification but he never replied….That was two weeks ago..during this period I called once after I didn’t hear from him for 5 days..He took the call but claimed that he is in the middle of something and would call back but never did…3 days later I text him trying to find out what’s wrong he replied by a text saying that he has been feeling down..asked me how am I doing and signed it with love always…Just two days after and through one of his close friends here I came to know that he only got his divorce three weeks ago..He also only filed for a divorce 4 months after going back to his country. His wife moved out of their house 2 weeks after he filed for a divorce…I feel throwing up..I’m sick since then..can’t understand why he lied all this time about being married…..and why he made me believe that he wants one day to marry me…Why when he finally got his divorce..he pulled away with no whatsoever previous withdrawal signs….not even a bit…Why all this silence from his side…If he is pulling away..Why he doesn’t put it in black and white instead of keeping me in the dark…Please help me to understand what’s going on….Many thanks”

- Grateful (48, Bahrain)

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