Elizabeth Asked:
“I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 months but we have been friends for 6 years. Now that we have gotten closer we have both noticed that we always make rude comments to eachother. For example: I was giving him a hand job but it wasn’t working so he took over, this made me feel bad, but when he finished himself I asked him to come lay with me and he responded “umm I didn’t know cuddling was required when I have to get myself off” this really hurt my feelings. We always say these types of things, is this normal and if not is it a communication problem? respect problem? We want to stop and are trying to work it out but aren’t sure how. Thank you in advance!”
- Elizabeth (23, Orange)
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Dear Elizabeth,
Both of you need to learn to think before you speak. If you think what you’re about to say will hurt his feelings – and vice versa – then don’t say it.
At the same time, both of you need to agree to let the other know when something the other has said hurts your feelings. Neither of you read minds so you need to talk to each other.
You might also want to cut this very short romantic relationship in the bud and continue to be friends.
Sincerely,
Suzanne White Montiel
sewmontiel@yahoo.com
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