Ivana Asked:
“You’re a guy, very egotistical, narcissistic, have been hurt before, and meet a girl who blows you away. She’s not perfect, has emotional problems, and brings a lot of agony for you but it’s the moments you hold her and kiss her that you know you could never let go and she’s the girl you can really see a future with, you actually love her beyond the emotion. The girl ends up pregnant and you don’t know how to handle all of this stress. In this stress, a girl who’s been chasing you for a whole year consoles you because your current girlfriend becomes hormonal and mean. You finally can’t take your girlfriend’s insecurities and hormonal behavior which you consider “abusive” so you break up with her and have sex with the girl who wanted you for a year. You’re officially dating this girl. Would you pretend to be happy and love this girl to spite your ex? To the rest of the world, you’re the good guy. The good person who helped her. The good guy who is compassionate and loves to help other people while your ex-girlfriend and mother of your child knows the truth. Probably explains the hatred I will be speaking about later.
Why I ask is because I’m in a similar situation, I’m the first girl. I know for a fact he felt vulnerable becoming close to me because he admitted this when we were just becoming FRIENDS. “Being close to you makes me feel vulnerable” and I swear to God he loved me. Now he’s so hateful, wishes death upon me and says the most mean things, like he wishes his current girlfriend would father his child. First he still prays for me every night to find peace, and wants to be friends. The next he hates me and I have to obey him. Wtf? He also criticizes me because I tell him he obviously doesn’t care and never did out of anger, maybe to get that he did out of him. But, I will also admit that when he’s that evil to me I said “how can you do that to someone you supposedly cared about?” And he responds “WELL WHICH ONE IS IT, YOU SAID I HATE YOU, PICK A.”
- Ivana (18, Brooklyn. NY)
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Ivana,
In the heat of a moment we say some things that we really mean but more often the things that we know are mean. Sticky situation to be in, but you’ve made your bed, now you must lay in it. I am not sure what your question is, but relationally…keep it moving. Of course your going to always have some sort of attachment to this guy but he doesn’t have to be in your life in order for your life to be properly lived. Got it? Good. I wanted to also say that I loved your writing; interesting explanation, an excellent prose. Maybe you should look into writing a bit more. This whole situation sounds like the makings of a good book to me; what about you? Get your mind off of him and on to the new addition and you future. I hope this helped. If you want to discuss this issue more, contact me by email. Jesus lives, and God blesses.
Cinique Scott – Wordsmith
H a v e W o r d s – W i l l T r a v e l
Cinique.Scott@yahoo.com
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