Vic Asked:

Guy Friend Of Two Years Deleted Me From FB, Email, IM and Phone.
So there is this guy I used to work with, we worked together for about a year but have known each other for about two. When I first met him he was always flirting and always wanting to hang out with me, during lunch and break, etc. we would talk for hours after work, we would talk right after work and then we would talk through text and phone. He always told me he loved talking to me and he felt like he was back in high school all over again every time he saw me and we talked. We did end up having a quick fling about a year into knowing each other, it never turned into anything serious and it was more like a half one night stand, we kissed and all that but when he came to sleeping with me, we started to have sex and then he quickly stopped and said we could not do what we were doing, I agreed and we remained friends. He often told me that he wanted to be with me but that he did not want attachment, so I agreed and told him that I also did not want attachment but he never went through with any advances I would make towards being with him. I asked him why he always kept repeating that he did not want attachment and he never gave a straight answer, I did not know he was married at the time and maybe that is what stopped him from continuing to go all the way with me, but like I said we still remained friends and often talked quiet a bit, he would tell me a lot of his personal issues and we would talk and I would give advice etc. I thought we had a great friend connection and I often told him I enjoyed our conversations.

He recently got divorced and was taking it pretty hard, still I was there for him if he needed to talk and just needed a friend. He would txt or call once in a while but he became very distant with me little by little, he would go cold for like a month and then would come back for about a minute then become distant again, he kept me this way for almost a year. I would give him his space and then he would come back on his own but then when I needed a friend to talk to he would be short, he would take a week or more to answer my texts and sometimes he would say to give him a minute and leave me hanging for weeks on end. He would txt me and then he would leave me hanging for a few weeks then he would come back with how about you go to my church and then go cold again for a few more weeks, only to come back and want to talk about my personal life and where I stood with the man in my life. Anyway, I seen a few things he would do that made me think that maybe he did not want anything to do with me anymore and did not want to be friends either so I called him on it…example of things he started doing that I noticed..if 10 people on his facebook would make a comment on one of his posts he would acknowledge them all with a reply except for me, he would put like on everyone elses comments and pics and would totally ignore mine even if it was the exact same post or pic. When I asked him if he was disgusted with talking to me he said No that he does not feel nothing like that towards me. When he continued to run hot and cold with me with our friendship I told him that he needed to tell me whether he really wanted me as a friend or not and that I was always there for him and he treats me like a good friend one minute and a stranger the next. I told him that a friendship is a two way street not just a one way and that he needed to be honest with himself and with me as to how he really felt and if he does not want me in his life in any way to let me know and I would go on my merry way and out of his life if that is what he truly wanted. I need a friend also as I recently lost my dad and I thought I could count on him to talk to and to be there when I also needed an ear as I have always been there for him. What he did next was delete me from FB and block me from email, phone and everything possible that connected us in any way. What a sissy way to tell me that he never wanted anything to do with me and was only using me for his benefit, that is what it sounds like and looked l like to me. I have since blocked him on FB so he does not see anything that has to do with my life as we still have mutual friends on it and I have not tried to contact him either because obviously he does not want that either. My thing is, how can someone you have known for two years and spoke to often and hung out at time just completely cut you out of their lives without as much as an explanation when you ask for one. All he had to do was have the nerve to tell it like it was and like he felt or did not feel than to take the easy way out by blocking me from everything. He says he is does not want attachment but yet he spends a lot of time trying to meet new women FB and dating sites like he is desperate for the attention and love, the attention I used to give him and he took advantage of until I called him on everything I seen coming from him. I am sure eventually he will try to talk to me, either months or maybe even years from now but I will never be able to trust him ever again with anything. He messes up that part of my friendship with him when he did what he did. Sad really because I am a good person with a very good heart and I did not deserve to be treated this way.

- Vic (45)

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