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Cinique' Said,
June 19th, 2011 @12:54 pm  

Stephanie,

To me God is always more important that anything else. However, at some point you have to find a way to balance your life. If you love the man, stand by him. I don’t think God would have struck you down with a lightening bolt if you would have missed one event. You gave your word and didn’t keep it. Of course it was understandable in my eyes but in his it may not have been. Sounds like his feelings were hurt. But at the same time, I don’t think he is being very fair with you. He is being a bit childish from what you describe. Three years is a long time to be in a relationship and not have decided one way or another whether you want to be with each other for life. I would evaluate your relationship. What assets does he bring to the table? Are you willing to wait another 3 years for him to grow up? Times are always good and bad in relationships. If you break up with him, you may have the same issues with someone else. What can you do? Write down all the things you like about him and all the things you don’t. Which ever list is longer is the list that will help you decide your next move. I hope this helped. If you want to discuss this issue more, contact me by email. Jesus lives, and God blesses.

Cinique Scott – Wordsmith
H a v e W o r d s – W i l l T r a v e l
Cinique.Scott@yahoo.com

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mygif
June 19th, 2011 @1:58 am  

Steph:

The next time he breaks up with you, say “If you wanna break up with me, that’s fine. Just know, it’ll be for GOOD this time. So be VERY SURE that you really want to end this, because I’m tired of the back & forth.” This will make him think before he makes that final decision. If he dumps you anyway, DON’T TAKE HIM BACK when he asks you. Tell him he made the decision to break up, so he has to live with it.

The truth is, you CAN’T be THAT bad, or he wouldn’t keep taking you back or staying WITH you. Trust me. He realizes how good of a woman you are. He’s just using the breakup tactic to manipulate you and make you kiss his butt. Don’t let it work.

In fact, the next time he accuses you of “never being there” for him, why not list off all the things you HAVE done for him and wait for a response? If he blows it off, say “Exactly. I do everything I CAN for you.” Grow a BACKBONE, Steph!

Now, on the OTHER hand, you need to look at things from his end just to see if things are FAIR. Does he do things for you as well? How many times have you had to tell him no? I know what it’s like to be in a relationship where both parties believe they’re making effort, and each person doesn’t feel the other one is. So I’m trying to be unbiased here by seeing both sides.

If he wants to see you, and you always have a reason why you CAN’T, he’s gonna feel slighted. That’s natural. He’s gonna feel like these other obligations always come before HIM. (Again, put yourself in his shoes.)

At the same time, though, you can’t allow him to bully you and behave as if he’s the ONLY one putting in effort when that’s not true. Stop letting him make you feel so low. If you feel you’ve been a good GF, and have facts to prove it, you need to say that.

If you need more assistance, you know what to do:
JayTheAdviceMan@aol.com

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Suzanne White Montiel Said,
June 18th, 2011 @2:22 pm  

Dear Stephanie,

I’m not sure why you’re there when he wants to get back together. He’s treated you poorly and you just take it so he continues to treat you poorly.

You need to break up with him and stay broken up. Cut off all contact if you have to. Considering your dad runs the church, I’m sure it wouldn’t be difficult to make sure you don’t see the ex after he no longer plays music for your dad’s church.

Relationships really can be easy. You don’t have to put up with someone who is selfish, mean, and immature. You are way too old to put up with a childish boyfriend.

Sincerely,

Suzanne White Montiel
sewmontiel@yahoo.com

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mygif
June 18th, 2011 @8:55 am  

Stephanie:
You need to fina another boyfriend who is gainfully employed. He feels badly about himself and takes it out on you. This guy is a loser. He is not likely to get better.

You don’t want to have kids with this guy. Trust me. You need to break it off with him and tell him to find someone else and then find someone else yourself who will not constantly be dumping you. This is bullying at its worst and emotional blackmail as well, THAT IS NOT LOVE.

You also need to get a job and move out of dad’s house at 27.

Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder
marriagecoach1.wordpress.com blog
marriagecoach1@yahoo.com

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