Donald Asked:
“So I work with this girl that I can’t take my mind off of. I don’t really work closely with her on a daily basis, but we work in the same building. I did some work for her the other day, and when she asked me how much she owed me for my time, I said I’d like to take her out to dinner. To which she replied “dinners not a problem, but the “what if” could be a problem”. I interjected that her boyfriend might not approve, to test the waters and see how she responded to try and determine if she indeed does have a boyfriend and she basically just repeated what she said before. At this time I more or less changed the subject because I didn’t know what to say. I’m really interested in this girl. This girl has a small child from another relationship, which I feel she may be concerned with picking the right person to let into their lives and maybe that’s why she sort of rejected me. I try to talk to her almost daily and I often can’t concentrate on my own job because I know she’s in the building and maybe if I have a chance to see her I might be able to say the right thing and strike up her interest in me. I really would like to find a way to resolve this by either asking her again or just plain out asking if she is interested in me at all, so If not I can move on and focus on my job the way I’m accustomed to . I need some good advice, from the females probably. I probably sound like a weirdo with this long post but I am lost and have not been on the dating scene for a number of years. Should I be persistent and pursue her further or does her “half” rejection really mean “no” and I can get on with my life?”
- Donald (28, Winnipeg)
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Dear Donald,
It seems as though you asked her out and she politely declined. Because you two do work “together” it’s probably prudent to leave it at that.
If you didn’t do work for her, or you met in some other context I’d suggest you ask her out and make it clear that you are interested in her romantically. However, because the two of you do have a professional relationship things can get all kinds of messy if she’s not interested in you, if you go out but things go awry, or if your work relationship suffers in some way.
If, after you no longer work in the same building, you are still interested, THAT is the time to step up to the plate and ask her out. For now it’s probably best to continue to be friendly, but to not do anything that has the potential to make anything uncomfortable.
Sincerely,
Suzanne White Montiel
SF Sex and Relationships Examiner
http://www.examiner.com/x-14163-SF-Sex-and-Relationships-Examiner
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