Leo Asked:
“hello! I (age 30) broke up with my ex girlfriend (age 30) almost 2 moths ago. we were together for a year. She really loves me and she wanted to marry me. I just wasn’t that warm because of some personal things. When she asked me to break up i agreed but we still had contact. She broke up with me because I was not as warm as she was. I was wrong not to ask her to wait and open up and tell her i’m just not myself now because of some problems. very fast she got involved with a new guy (maybe a rebound?) and made it clear to me it’s over. Anyway, i told her how i feel about her and showed her my love, told her im ok now (she sees that also) and we can be everything we wanted to be. I even showed her the ring I bought her and was planning to give to her. And that was all. I didnt persue her at all. We met a few days ago and spent 5 hours together doing silly things and having fun. We spoke a bit about us but she says she is now somewhere else and the usual that she loves me and all. I encouraged her relationship telling her i want her to be happy. We met again today for an hour and i flirted a tiny little bit with her and she did seem open to it. I can tell she loves me and still is attracted to me. She even tells me I look hansom. She now thinks I am getting into something new and i can tell she is a bit jealous. I love this girl and I am ready to give her what she wants. I just dont know how to act now. We do have fun together a lot but should I keep meeting with her and flirt with her or shall I maybe go no contact for a bit and make her miss “us”? I do make her laugh a lot and that makes me happy! Thanks a lot!”
- Leo (30, Greece)
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Funny how some of us come around when people leave: we could have been warm or more loving or more giving, but we weren’t. Why now? Is it the chase, or the old “You don’t know what you had until it’s gone” song? For now, my advice to you is: you had your chance, now behave yourself. Not because she’ll see how much she missed you, but because it’s the right thing to do, and what mature, loving people do when they truly want someone else to be happy. So be a real friend and gentleman as you said you were and let her enjoy the relationship she is in. Should it end, then take that opportunity to tell her how you feel (if you still do). For now, any act on your part to play games is out of integrity and manipulative. Not a great way to rekindle love, never mind the question of how will you be able to trust her or yourself again?
Blessings!
~Maryanne
http://maryannelive.com
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