Comments on: Ask Our Relationship Experts: My girlfriend is accusing me cheating on her, but I’m not cheating on her! http://advice.lovedetour.com/Admin/ask-our-relationship-experts-my-girlfriend-is-accusing-me-cheating-on-her-but-im-not-cheating-on-her.html Expert advice to get your relationships back on track Fri, 10 Feb 2012 21:32:47 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Maryanne Comaroto http://advice.lovedetour.com/Admin/ask-our-relationship-experts-my-girlfriend-is-accusing-me-cheating-on-her-but-im-not-cheating-on-her.html/comment-page-1#comment-1246 Maryanne Comaroto Fri, 19 Mar 2010 17:47:28 +0000 http://advice.lovedetour.com/?p=4976#comment-1246 I smell a rat... a girl one. Usually when someone accuses their serious, non-cheating, straight partner of being bi and cheating they are projecting; a smoke-and-mirrors distraction to cover up their own behavior. In other words, methinks your girlfriend is cheating on you—with perhaps another woman, my dear. If I am wrong and she is having a torrential bout of insecurity (it does happen), I think you may want to sit down with your girlfriend and ask her what evidence she has of the said indiscretions. If the answer is, “None,” then you ought set some clear personal boundaries. Given that relationships thrive on trust, she needs to cease forensic investigations of your phone and texts. And if your relationship is as serious as you say, and she still cannot trust you having given your word, having pledged your love—you are better off dealing with this issue now than married with children!! Blessings! ~Maryanne http://maryannelive.com I smell a rat… a girl one. Usually when someone accuses their serious, non-cheating, straight partner of being bi and cheating they are projecting; a smoke-and-mirrors distraction to cover up their own behavior. In other words, methinks your girlfriend is cheating on you—with perhaps another woman, my dear.
If I am wrong and she is having a torrential bout of insecurity (it does happen), I think you may want to sit down with your girlfriend and ask her what evidence she has of the said indiscretions. If the answer is, “None,” then you ought set some clear personal boundaries. Given that relationships thrive on trust, she needs to cease forensic investigations of your phone and texts. And if your relationship is as serious as you say, and she still cannot trust you having given your word, having pledged your love—you are better off dealing with this issue now than married with children!!

Blessings!
~Maryanne
http://maryannelive.com

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]]> By: John Wilder http://advice.lovedetour.com/Admin/ask-our-relationship-experts-my-girlfriend-is-accusing-me-cheating-on-her-but-im-not-cheating-on-her.html/comment-page-1#comment-1236 John Wilder Sat, 13 Mar 2010 18:23:45 +0000 http://advice.lovedetour.com/?p=4976#comment-1236 This woman is desperately insecure. This is not easily fixable. My best advice to you is break up with her and run for your life. Under no circumstances should you think about marriage to this woman. The other thing to consider is that she is actually cheaing on you and projecting those feelings and accusations against you. Whatever the reason is, you don't need the drama in your life. You need to nip it in the bud and move on to a woman who is emotionally secure and can give to you instead of accusing you. Good luck This woman is desperately insecure. This is not easily fixable. My best advice to you is break up with her and run for your life. Under no circumstances should you think about marriage to this woman.

The other thing to consider is that she is actually cheaing on you and projecting those feelings and accusations against you.

Whatever the reason is, you don’t need the drama in your life. You need to nip it in the bud and move on to a woman who is emotionally secure and can give to you instead of accusing you. Good luck

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]]> By: Jason Love http://advice.lovedetour.com/Admin/ask-our-relationship-experts-my-girlfriend-is-accusing-me-cheating-on-her-but-im-not-cheating-on-her.html/comment-page-1#comment-1229 Jason Love Sat, 13 Mar 2010 06:45:45 +0000 http://advice.lovedetour.com/?p=4976#comment-1229 Sounds like she's either NATURALLY suspicious, or somebody's in her ear, telling her these things about you. In any case, it's not good for you or your relationship. How did you find this out? You said she never confronted you? It's difficult to discuss, or fix an issue if the other person has never brought it to your attention. So you may not be able to discuss it with her. But this can't continue. JayTheAdviceMan@aol.com Sounds like she’s either NATURALLY suspicious, or somebody’s in her ear, telling her these things about you. In any case, it’s not good for you or your relationship.

How did you find this out? You said she never confronted you?

It’s difficult to discuss, or fix an issue if the other person has never brought it to your attention. So you may not be able to discuss it with her. But this can’t continue.

JayTheAdviceMan@aol.com

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]]> By: Suzanne White Montiel http://advice.lovedetour.com/Admin/ask-our-relationship-experts-my-girlfriend-is-accusing-me-cheating-on-her-but-im-not-cheating-on-her.html/comment-page-1#comment-1224 Suzanne White Montiel Sat, 13 Mar 2010 02:51:58 +0000 http://advice.lovedetour.com/?p=4976#comment-1224 Dear Robert, It doesn't matter if you are cheating, bisexual, both, or neither. What matters is that she doesn't trust you. You can't make her trust you, you can only control yourself. Do you want to be with someone who doesn't trust you? Do you want to be with someone who is always suspicious of your actions and spies on you? If yes, then stay with her. But if not then you need to leave, if, after telling her her behavior is unacceptable, she continues her atrocious behavior. Yes, it is that simple. Sincerely, Suzanne White Montiel SF Sex and Relationships Examiner http://www.examiner.com/x-14163-SF-Sex-and-Relationships-Examiner Dear Robert,

It doesn’t matter if you are cheating, bisexual, both, or neither. What matters is that she doesn’t trust you.

You can’t make her trust you, you can only control yourself. Do you want to be with someone who doesn’t trust you? Do you want to be with someone who is always suspicious of your actions and spies on you? If yes, then stay with her.

But if not then you need to leave, if, after telling her her behavior is unacceptable, she continues her atrocious behavior.

Yes, it is that simple.

Sincerely,

Suzanne White Montiel
SF Sex and Relationships Examiner
http://www.examiner.com/x-14163-SF-Sex-and-Relationships-Examiner

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]]> By: Anthony Hernandez http://advice.lovedetour.com/Admin/ask-our-relationship-experts-my-girlfriend-is-accusing-me-cheating-on-her-but-im-not-cheating-on-her.html/comment-page-1#comment-1219 Anthony Hernandez Sat, 13 Mar 2010 00:51:51 +0000 http://advice.lovedetour.com/?p=4976#comment-1219 Nothing and nobody can ever take your love away and you are forever better for having loved someone. With that said, this woman does not deserve your love. Even if she does, you relationship is anything but healthy. Any way you slice it, the loving thing to do is end the relationship. Sure, you could waste a lot of time and effort trying to figure out if you're doing anything to arouse suspicion or what childhood trauma your girlfriend is trying to work through. Thing is, that would take a lot of time and it also makes the fundamental error of assuming that saving the relationship = good and ending the relationship = bad. Nothing could be further from the truth. There is no such thing as intrinsic good or bad in life. But there is love, and sometimes you have to love someone enough to set them free from a situation that is obviously causing them distress. That has the extra bonus of freeing you up to seek someone who will return your love and trust. Anthony Hernandez www.theenlightenedsavage.com Nothing and nobody can ever take your love away and you are forever better for having loved someone.

With that said, this woman does not deserve your love. Even if she does, you relationship is anything but healthy. Any way you slice it, the loving thing to do is end the relationship. Sure, you could waste a lot of time and effort trying to figure out if you’re doing anything to arouse suspicion or what childhood trauma your girlfriend is trying to work through. Thing is, that would take a lot of time and it also makes the fundamental error of assuming that saving the relationship = good and ending the relationship = bad. Nothing could be further from the truth. There is no such thing as intrinsic good or bad in life. But there is love, and sometimes you have to love someone enough to set them free from a situation that is obviously causing them distress. That has the extra bonus of freeing you up to seek someone who will return your love and trust.

Anthony Hernandez
http://www.theenlightenedsavage.com

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