Is he STILL cheating, or are you just saying he WAS cheating?

It’s hard to get involved in that, without making a situation even worse than it once was.

Maybe you could tell your dad (calmly) that you know what he’s been up to, and that unless he wants your MOM to know TOO, he better cut it out. Or, he can tell her himself. But you don’t approve.

Or, you can talk to him about it WITHOUT the threats, and say “Dad you know mom doesn’t deserve this. Why are you even WITH her if you don’t want her?”

I can’t advise you to “stay out of it”, because I know if it were ME, I’d want to tell the other parent, TOO. However, it can still make things worse, when you don’t want it to.

As for the possibility of your mom already knowing, I doubt it. Because if she did, I don’t see why the mistress would have to tell you, or why it would seem like such a SECRET.

If you really wonder, and you DO confront your dad, simply ask him, “Does mom know you’re cheating on her?”

Again, I don’t think that question is APPROPRIATE, but if you’re gonna confront him, better to find out from HIM what’s going on, before you go messing things up between them.

If nothing else, just do what I FIRST suggested, which is tell him he should stop (unless she knows) or you will tell her. If he doesn’t want you to tell her, then she obviously doesn’t KNOW. So that eliminates that possibility.

And @ John, did the MOTHER or the DAUGHTER hang herself?

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Judy”

I can understand your feelings. There are always two sides to a story. It is entirely possible that your mother knows and may even approve. Many couples have one person, typically the woman with a much lower libido than the other partner and the person with the lower libido gives tacit approval for the partner to have sex outside the marriage so as to maintain the marriage.

You should not tell your mother, but leave it between your parents. Since they are trying to reconnect, it would be best if you did not upset the applecart. I know that it is hard to do. Remember you love your dad and he has stuck with your mother all of these years and he loves you. I know that this is hard to hear, but things are not always what they seem.

It could be worse. I once had a client whose father had sex with her every night since she was five with the mother’s tacit approval. This went on until she was 17 before she stopped it. Years later her dad had a heart attack and died and she confronted her mother over it and she hung herself in the garage two days later.

Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder

marriagecoach1@yahoo.com

marriagecoach1.wordpress.com blog

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