Crystal Asked:
“My boyfriend and I have been dating on and off for four years in February. We have broken up about four times and have tried to date other people but we always end up coming back to each other. I like to hang out with my friends but he wants me to give him all of my time. He wants to be the center of my attention every second of every day. And he also wants me to give up something big to prove to him that I love him. I do not want to think about marriage or children, but he wants to marry me and have children with me, I am a very stubborn person and while I am young I do not want to have to think about marriage I just want to have fun. I experiment with different hair styles and hair color (just brown and black) and he cannot stand it. He hates change, and I thrive for it. I am an artist and see my body as a blank canvas so I also want to experiment with piercings, and tatoos but he threatened he would break up with me if I did, I do not see what is wrong with them. I want to live life to the fullest and I feel trapped and guilty for wanting the things that make me happy. I am in love with him but all of these minor problems are making me miserable. I believe that love is enough, but he does not… he wants me to prove it, but I am not going to change or give up anything…Is that wrong of me?”
- Crystal (17)
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Dear Crystal,
Break up. While there’s clearly something that draws the two of you back together, it’s not enough. You are right that you are much too young to be thinking about marriage and children. The most telling part of your story, however, is his demand that you prove you love him by giving up something big. You should NEVER, no matter how old you are, be subjected to that kind of demand. Your differences are too vast to be reconciled.
Best,
Shela Dean
Relationship Coach, Speaker & Bestselling Author
http://www.ShelaDean.com
http://www.FrequentForeplayMiles.com
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