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mygif
July 24th, 2010 @1:53 am  

Dear Crystal,

Break up. While there’s clearly something that draws the two of you back together, it’s not enough. You are right that you are much too young to be thinking about marriage and children. The most telling part of your story, however, is his demand that you prove you love him by giving up something big. You should NEVER, no matter how old you are, be subjected to that kind of demand. Your differences are too vast to be reconciled.

Best,
Shela Dean
Relationship Coach, Speaker & Bestselling Author
http://www.ShelaDean.com
http://www.FrequentForeplayMiles.com

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mygif
Suzanne White Montiel Said,
July 23rd, 2010 @5:04 pm  

Dear Crystal,

Break up and stay broken up.

Your boyfriend is controlling and insecure. If you do give up something big for him, I promise you that will not be enough. Then you’ll be asked to give up something else. It won’t end because people like your boyfriend are never happy.

You seem to know some things you want out of your life and what you want to do with your own body, which after you turn 18 is COMPLETELY up to you. Let him worry about his hair and skin, not yours.

At your age it is understandable and healthy to want to have fun, and to not concern yourself with lifelong commitment of either marriage and/or children. Frankly, I find it disturbing that he IS discussing these things at such a tender age.

Break up. It will hurt for a while, but being single will allow you to get to know yourself, to figure out what you want out of a relationship.

Sincerely,

Suzanne White Montiel

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mygif
July 23rd, 2010 @3:20 pm  

Crystal:

While you are young you show some maturity. You don’t say how old the boyfriend is, that would be helpful. I am guessing that he is older and I bet your parents don’t even know him or about him, I could be wrong, it is just a feeling that I get.

Your boyfriend sounds very controlling to me and it is a danger sign of a guy who will eventually beat on you. There is nothing wroing with having friends and a life outside of him. Just because you are in a relationship with him, does not mean that he owns you.

Love should not have to be proven and exacted and forced. He has some very notions about love. You would be much better cutting it off for good with this guy.

Now about the tatoos. I am going to express my personal prejudice. Find other outlets for your artistic ideas. Many people consider them trashy and low class. Tatoos can hold you back from getting a good job. You don’t see women in good jobs sporting tatoos. It can also be a turn off for future boyfriends. I suggest that you will regret it in the future. I know that you are young and headstrong right now and just might take my advice as a dare that you will have to go against and do it just to spite me. But at least consider the advice is in your best interest. It is advice I gave to my own daughter that she has heeded and thanked me for later on.

Blessings on you and yours

John Wilder
marriagecoach1@yahoo.com

marriagecoach1.wordpress.com blog

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mygif
July 23rd, 2010 @12:05 pm  

It’s funny you mention this problem. I speak about this in an article I wrote on here a while back. I actually WROTE it for MEN, but it kind of touches on your current situation.

Here:
http://advice.lovedetour.com/jlove/young-mens-dating-advice-young-love.html

Now, to keep going, you two are CLEARLY at different points in your LIFE. He wants to settle down & have a family, while you want to hang out with friends & have FUN.

You’re on two COMPLETELY different wavelengths right now. Therefore, in order for this relationship to work, this guy either needs to get a life of his own, or you need to give him all of your time. But it’s OBVIOUS that neither of those are going to happen. (And even if they DID, there’d still be some RESENTMENT there.) So the relationship is on a one way path to NOWHERE.

All you can do, is explain to him that you’re too young to settle down, and that if you can’t have a life outside of this relationship, you’re going to have to end it.

Don’t forget to read the ARTICLE though. It will DEFINITELY put things into perspective for you. Again, the LINK is: http://advice.lovedetour.com/jlove/young-mens-dating-advice-young-love.html

Good luck.
JayTheAdviceMan@aol.com

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