Danny Asked:
“Ok, where to start….I started talking to this girl 5 months ago but we had been friends for about a year. When I first met her I knew she was girlfriend material so I try and talk to her and hopefully start something but sadly she got a boyfriend 2 weeks after I met her. Now moving on to 10 months later she broke up with her boyfriend(they have broken up at least 4 times by now) because. A) they barely saw eachother B) it was onesided she did everything for the relationship and C) She was moving away in exactly a year so they would have to break up eventually. She said mostly because he was a bad boyfriend though. Ok so now here’s where I come in. We start “talking” and going on dates. I try to move it slowly because she had just gotten out of a relationship around 2 months prior but she ends up kissing me first. We start doing more stuff as weeks pass and than she says she’s leading me on because she doesn’t think she can have a boyfriend because of school starting in 10 months. She will have to move 4 hours away. Anyways we get passed that and we continue dating. we eventually have sex which I feel she egged it on more than I did. But after we had sex she promised me that she would never go back with her ex and she said she really cares about me. This is a girl that is very smart valedictorian, has few friends, and is always busy with homework, family, or work.
Well last month things started getting sour we would only see eachother once a week and I would ALWAYS have to make the plans. I would try and SCHEDULE us to see eachother at least 3 times a week but there would always be an excuse (work, my moms being crazy, I got a lot of homework I’m so sorry, my dads being crazy etc) so I started being very suspicious especially because I knew her and her ex were still friends because she told me and plus they work together. I would always think she would ditch me just to go see him instead and lie to me. Fast forward to 3 weeks later. I couldn’t take it anymore I was always worried about her. The only thing on my mind would be if she was with him at that very moment. I finally found out that her and her bf were trying to work things out because He said he would try and move with her to the new city where her school is at. When I found this out I told her I could never talk to her again. It was either 100% or 0%. We didn’t talk again for around 1 week which killed us both because we were practicly bestfriend. She finally contacted me and told me she couldn’t live without me but she just doesn’t know if she can be in a relatitonship with me. She also said she can’t be in a relationship with ANYONE including her ex. She told me it was the worst week ever. All she did was cry and think of me. She also told me that she never lied to me about anything. I always felt like she was just using me but she also said that she wasn’t using me. Well now the situation is this… I love this girl, but she has ruined a lot of my life I couldn’t go to school because I was always thinking about her and how we can try and fix everything that I couldn’t concintrate on anything else, I got kicked out of my house twice because I would always be in a bad mood and would fight with my parents. And my car got sold because my parents got mad that I didn’t get into school. I don’t know what to do..I don’t want to get my hopes up because all I want is a relationship with her. I’m willing to move out with her. But also I don’t wanna go crazy always thinking about her and if she’s with her ex. Should we just stop being friends and never talk again? I feel like its just gonna be the same as before onesided. She says she’s a horrible person for what she did and has a apologized soo many times to me. I don’t know if I can be her friend..I might just go crazy. Its all I think about.
- Danny (19, Florida)
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Hi Danny
Sounds like you are way to focused in on this girl instead of being focused on your own life! Why would you be willing to lose everything just to be with someone who can’t or won’t make up their mind? you have got to get back on track, get in school, work things out with your parents, etc… life is way too short for all this drama that you are allowing to unfold. Be present in the moment and not stuck on the past! You might think that throwing everything away just to be with this girl is the right thing to do? But you are throwing up alot of red flags already being jealous and such…you got to stop. whatever she is going to do is not going to change just because you confront her…love and life should never be this hard.Though it may seem like the end of the world, it is not and believe it or not there will be other women in your life who will not be as draining to your life as this girl seems to be? Get your life back on track and worry about love further on down the line…
good luck
Gina Landeau
Hello Ms Heartbreak, I’ve been expecting you!