Expert advice to get your relationships back on track
2010
Anonymous Asked:“I have been dating a girl for almost two years she says she is not an affectionate person. She will never hold my hand or even look at me in public. But when another guy comes around is perky and will talk to them about anything. Do you think she is embarrassed by me?”
- Anonymous (20)
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I don’t think it’s a matter of being EMBARRASSED as much as it is her just not feelin’ you that way. I guess PART of her could be embarrassed by you, but it’s deeper than just being seen with someone unattractive or something.
What’s she like in PRIVATE? Is she affectionate THERE? She claims not to be an affectionate person, but if she’s affectionate in PRIVATE, then you know she’s just embarrassed to be that way with you in PUBLIC.
If she’s not affectionate AT ALL with you (even in PRIVATE) then it’s just YOU. Because I bet with ANOTHER guy, if she was with HIM, she’d be affectionate.
My question is, how is this JUST now becoming an ISSUE after 2 YEARS? You didn’t notice this BEFORE?
Tell me something! lol
If you have more detail to give, and want a real solution, email me:
JayTheAdviceMan@aol.com
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You have allowed her to treat like this for 2 years? Why? It seems obvious that she is not as invested in this relationship as much as you are? It is best to move on and find someone who can give you the things you deserve? Respect being the first! If she is suddenly perky when other guys come around then she isn’t ready to be in a relationship with you? It’s your decision as to what you will and will not accept in your search for love? But from this view…it just doesn’t seem like the real thing?
Good Luck
Gina Landeau
Hello Ms Heartbreak, I’ve been expecting you!
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Dear Anonymous,
If you think she’s embarrassed by you, that’s enough to initiate a conversation about why she treats you the way she does and your feelings about it. If the conversation doesn’t make you feel better, then you may need to ask yourself the tough question of whether this is the right relationship for you.
A relationship should lift you up and no relationship is worth it if it makes you feel bad about yourself.
Best,
Shela Dean
Relationship Coach, Speaker & Author
http://www.ShelaDean.com
http://www.FrequentForeplayMiles.com
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Hi Anonymous (20),
It sounds like she has intimacy issues. Talk to her about this issue and how it makes you feel and that you want her to be this way with you.
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I hate to say it, but yes I do think that she is embarrassed or just does not want guys to know that you have a relationship. I think that she is staying with you until something better comes along.
My suggestion is to dump her before she dumps you and find a girl who appreciates you for you and who you are. This girl is not a keeper.
Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder
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Kypris Aster Drake, M.S., M.A.
Specialty: Sex, Book Author
Location: CA, U.S
Posts by Kypris Aster Drake, M.S., M.A.
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To give an honest answer to your question we really would need more information. There are several reasons this could be. Some things to help you narrow it down are just some simple questions you can ask yourself. Are you vested financially in her? Financial security can keep a mate around even if she is not interested in you. Is she being friendly with others or being affectionate? These are two very different things. Love tends to blur the line between the two. Another possibility is that she may not have been raised seeing her parents be affectionate so she doesn’t know how. So you can ask or you can see for yourself if her parents are affectionate toward one another. Lastly she could just not be that interested in you anymore and with you for convenience, even though two years is a long time to drag a relationship out. Sorry anonymous but there is just not enough information to make a sound assessment. If it means a lot to you to be affectionate, the only person that can do anything about that is your mate. If you dig around in this area just be prepared for the worst, just in case her intentions are less that admirable. I hope this helps. God bless.
Cinique Scott
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