Rose Asked:
“PLEASE HELP!My husband freaks out at me for no reason, if I ask about porn, or masturbation. Just so you know, I love both. No issues here. 
He’s denied both, over and over, even calling me crazy, and telling me I’m calling him a pervert to think something like that about him! (What does that make me?) He makes me feel small for even thinking he would do those things. I later found out he enjoys them both. A lot. Then comes the sex hookup sites, which he blames on a friend, using his email account. His friend is married and uses them all the time. My husband has been friends with him since 5 years before he met me. It’s been a year, and he still starts arguments about the stuff on the comp even tho I tried to move past it. Once he told me that he cheated and it was a one time thing, in which case right away, I jumped up and grabbed him you know where. (This was all going on when I was pregnant and we were arguing about this for months) Afterwards, he denied it being true, saying he only said “what I wanted to hear, and he never cheated at all.” He still sticks to this even tho it’s been all this time. I have to mention that herpes is involved, and he says he got it from me, since I sometimes have cold sores. I hadn’t had a cold sore in almost 2 years at that time. What I want to know is, should I believe him? He’s very defensive over small stuff, and gets very angry, when I ask. Also, I might add, he is 44, and was single for 12 years before me(save a 6 mos relationship) and I am 30 and not too bad in the looks dept. He says he’s lucky to get someone young and prety like me so why would he cheat? He even keeps asking to take a lie detector test! I wonder if he is acting strange because he isn’t used to being in a rel. and really doesn’t know much about them, or if he got stuck on sex sites because he was single for so long, and can’t stop himself now. I’ve asked both questions, but it just makes him mad either way. It has to be one or the other. Either he’s clueless or he’s cheating. What do I do?”
- Rose (30, Ontario)
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This guy is definately cheating on you. He did it before and you let him stay so now he feels he has your unspoken blessing, When caught doing something wrong, it’s normal for the person doing the wrong to lash out at the other person i.e. name calling, anger, denial. Why is he starting arguements a year later about something he and his friend did online, and really, why is he blaming his friend? He could have stopped any time.
His whole act is a bunch of #*@&, from the herpes accusations to the excuse that he “told you what you wanted to here”. No woman wants to hear that her man is cheating on her, and anyman that would say something like that if it wasn’t true is a hurtful jerk.
Lie Detectors aren’t conclusive, and you said yourself “why should I believe him?”
You need to stop making excuses for him and face the fact that he cheated on you, he treats you with no respect at all, and he’s a bully.
A bully doesn’t just torment you, he takes your dignity.
If some guy treated me this way, pregnant or not, I’d have gotten up and done the same thing as you. Every person has a breaking point and you reached yours.
Take your child and get out. You say you are not bad in the looks department and you sound like a nice girl who’se willing to see another persons point of veiw, as well as give them the benefit of the doubt.
There are men you appreciate that, this guy is not one of them, and probably never be.
Good Luck To You
TParson
http://smartdatingsolutions.webs.com/
Good Luc
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