Aug 06

2010

Ask Our Relationship Experts: Is he messing around with other girls?

Written by    Category: Ask Our Experts, Cheating, Dating, For Your Consideration, Self-Improvement, Sex and Romance, Women's Dating Tips    Tags: , , , , , ,    

advice.lovedetour.com Ask Our Relationship Experts: Is he messing around with other girls? askourexperts2 imageAlexa Asked:

“Hey, well this guy that is messing around with me and stuff. And we kissed. But I heard that hes messing around with other girls too. My cousin told me how he met up with her bestfriend, and how they had sex in the park :O. Apparently he doesn’t want anything serious, he thinks I’m cute and cool, but he stopped IMing me with his goodmorning IMs everyday, now I get nothing. Please help!”

- Alexa (15, NY)


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mygif
Cinique' Said,
August 9th, 2010 @1:01 pm  

Alexa

Keep it moving. If a young man genuinely likes you he will find you. You didn’t mention how you felt about him at all, but sounds like he is giving you a disinterested signal to me, but I could be wrong. Careful with this one. Hope this helps, God bless.

Cinique’

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mygif
Jason Love Said,
August 7th, 2010 @1:35 pm  

A) Yes, he’s messing with other girls.
B) He’s doesn’t care about you.
C) You SHOULDN’T care about HIM (even if you do, you shouldn’t.)
D) He stopped IM’ing you, thus proving my point @ “B”
E) He said he doesn’t want anything serious.
F) He wants to date around, and have sex.
G) He may eventually get into a relationship, but it won’t last.
H) Do NOT get so close to guys so quickly just because you kiss them.
I) At your age, you are emotionally immature, AND fragile.
J) Focus on school, have fun with friends (or boys) but DON’T get attached to them emotionally.

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mygif
John Wilder Said,
August 6th, 2010 @5:30 pm  

Alexa
There is nothing that I can do to help you. You are very young, you did not say how old the boy is. He is obviously enjoying his freedom and is searching for girls to have sex with. You did not have sex with him so he moved to greener pastures.

Now I am not suggesting that you have sex with him. You are too young to have sex. You are not mature enough to deal with the emotional issues and you are not old enough to get pregnant. Boys at your age are just looking for hookups and easy sex. The girl that he had sex with will not get a relationship with him either. He will just move on to the next conquest. Boys at this age can be real turds.

Best Wishes
John Wilder

marriagecoach1@yahoo.com

marriagecoach1.wordpress.com blog

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mygif
Deidre Logan Said,
August 6th, 2010 @2:15 pm  

Hi Alexa,

You’re only 15 so I’m going to try to help you out. You’re asking the wrong question. It doesn’t really matter whether he’s “messing with other girls” or not. The fact is, you are obviously not getting what you want/need from him. You assumed, incorrectly I might add, that because he’s at least somewhat interested in exchanging fluids with you that he is also interested in sharing more of your self and your life with you.

You expected too much too soon without finding out what HE expects. It sounds like mentally, you’re in two different relationships.

Here’s a fix:

1) Tell him what you want and what you’re prepared to do if you don’t get what you want.

2) Be ready ALWAYS to follow through with what you say. Empty threats can only hurt your credibility and he will never respect you as a person. If you don’t demand what you want and set definite boundaries, he – and anyone else for that matter – will continue to treat you how ever he chooses.

Now is the time for you to learn a very important lesson. YOU MUST teach people how to treat you. You’ll be doing your whole life so you might as well start practicing. Draw your ‘deal-breaker’ boundaries NOW and allow NO ONE to make you compromise them. It will save you lots of pain and years of therapy.

All the best to you,

Eden

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