Oct 21

2009

Ask Our Relationship Experts: I want him to blow off his friends to be with me!

Written by    Category: Ask Our Experts, Cheating, Dating, For Your Consideration, Love Stories, Marriage, Relationships, Women's Dating Tips    Tags: , , , , , , ,    

advice.lovedetour.com Ask Our Relationship Experts: I want him to blow off his friends to be with me! askourexperts2 imageShelbie Asked:

“I’ve been with this guy since I was in 8th grade and now we’re married and he’s in the military ever since then.  He’s just like I don’t need you and wants to hang out with girls with his friends and just forgets he’s married! I do a lot for him and our sex life is good.  I am very protective and call him a lot because his past history of being a cheater.. I don’t want to get hurt again. I just want him to only be interested in me and blow off his friends to be with me what do I do to make him more interested in me.”

- Shelbie (17, San Andreas CA)


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mygif
Jason Love Said,
October 23rd, 2009 @2:45 am  

Look here, Shelbie:

If a man loves you as much as you love HIM, he’ll SHOW it to you WITHOUT you having to ask. He’s already PROVEN to you that he is more concerned with friends, girls, and having sex than he is showing you how much he cares. Right?

So you WANTING that to CHANGE is NOT enough to MAKE it change. Here’s why:

Are you gonna leave him if he doesn’t shape up? My guess is No.

Instead, you will beg him, plead with him, cry over him, and DEAL with the BS that he GIVES you, all the WHILE, wishing he’d be BETTER.

Now, I am not SAYING this to HURT you. I’m SAYING this to be HONEST with you. And I think YOU KNOW that I’m RIGHT, already. The QUESTION is, how LONG will I be right? How LONG until you say “Screw this” and find a happier way to live your life?

If you’d like more advice, OR would like a copy of my BOOK, (which is only 5 bucks) feel free to EMAIL me, and your PROBLEMS will be SOLVED.

JayTheAdviceMan@aol.com

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mygif
Anthony Hernandez Said,
October 22nd, 2009 @2:10 pm  

Shelby,

Your husband is acting like a typical male his age and no piece of paper or religious mumbo-jumbo can change evolved human nature.

You are the one who made the mistake by letting yourself get married when you are both far too young to have ever truly lived on your own as adults without other people making all of the rules and decisions for you, ESPECIALLY when he has a history of “cheating” (because no quaint social custom can possibly compete with the adolescent sex drive, which is literally stronger than the drive to eat). Neither of you is in any position to make any kind of commitment to each other and the sooner you both find a way out of this mess, the better.

As for him having friends, etc. the bottom line is that you have no right to be possessive or jealous (and neither does he, or anyone). The fact that you proceeded to get into this commitment at such a young age and with a guy with a history of doing what all healthy adolescent men do says that you have a lot of maturing and growing up to do. Go out and live your life and figure out who you are and what matters to you in life. Have as much sex as you want, just don’t make the mistake of falling into another entanglement.

Then when you’re 30 and your youthful energy starts its long and inexorable decline toward the end of this short lifetime, then and only then consider settling down with someone who will love and honor you as much as you love and honor yourself.

Here’s the secret: Anyone you are with will love and honor you as much as you love and honor yourself. Your “husband” is giving you what you already give yourself. That pattern will continue for the rest of your life just as it continues for everyone’s life. Want someone to truly love and honor you? Learn to love and honor yourself, a process that only comes with age and wisdom.

There is no shortcut.

Anthony Hernandez
http://www.theenlightenedsavage.com

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mygif
Gina Landeau Said,
October 22nd, 2009 @9:39 am  

Hi Shelbie

Unforunately for you what is happening is just a part of life in as much as it is a part of growing up! You both got together very young before you even had a chance to know what love or life really was?

With him being in the military, his is experiencing life on new levels and somehow you are being left behind? It;s not really anyone’s fault….as we experience life we change and sometimes it might include out growing our partners?

You don’t say if you have kids? or what you do for a living or if you are a house wife? I encourage you to find a path for yourself, whether it is getting a job? going back to school? etc…

If you try to distance him from his friends ? He is just going to do it even more so! As far as the possibility that he might cheat on you? My dear lady, you have no control over what he does? If he really loves you? He will remain true but if he has already made a decision that does not include you? Then you must be strong! Make a life for yourself and be prepared for what may come?

Try talking to him…Communication is key…but even this is difficult? Then prepare yourself and know that life has greater plans for you then you know!

Good Luck

Gina Landeau
Hello Ms Heartbreak, I’ve been expecting you!

HelloMsHeartbreak@yahoo.com

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