Related Posts:


5 Comments Already

August 17th, 2010 @8:42 pm  

Dear Michelle,

It’s understandable that your feelings resurfaced. Revisiting the past always brings back good feelings and memories; however, I caution you to remember that it takes more than mere feelings, or memories for a good relationship to work. There is a reason that relationship ended. You stated that after MUCH thought your ex declined. That’s a BIG hint. He knows how he feels. It is not unusual for people to regress to what is familiar. But, when it’s time to move on – move on. Don’t settle for someone that doesn’t truly want to be with you. You had what you had; it is what it is. If you’re are going to embrace a healthy future let go of your past. Use that relationship as tool to empower yourself. Keep the good, let go of the bad. That season of your life served it purpose.

Mediocrity is the worst of the best and the best of the worst. Go new places, do new things and meet new people. If that relationship is meant to be, when the time is right it will come back to you. However, I suggest that you don’t sit around waiting on that to happen. More than likely you will only be disappointed. Wasted time is something that you cannot get back. Instead maximize right now. Life is too short and death is too long to settle for less than you deserve. I suggest that you order my latest book, “Break Up, Don’t Break Down” by D Ivan Young. Go to to get a copy. It will help you to discover your divine purpose as you position yourself for real authentic love to find you.

There is somebody for everybody. You cannot get what God has for you hanging on to what you’re trying to give yourself. Allow time and patience to have their perfect work in your life. What was meant to curse you will bless you if you allow the mystery to unfold. Don’t limit your love life to that which you’ve seen. The greater unknown is far better than the lesser known. That which you seek is equally seeking you.

By Relationship Expert, D Ivan Young

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 0

Cinique' Said,
August 9th, 2010 @1:01 pm  


Sometimes when you love something, you must let it go. Don’t force the issue of relationship with him. Take it one day at a time and be his confidence. I have a feeling things will work out to your liking, you just have to be patient. And if they don’t, be strong. Love knows no boundaries but you do. Do go out of bounds chasing love, if it is true it will come back into play. Hope this helps, God bless.


Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

August 7th, 2010 @1:30 pm  

A few things…

You mentioned you broke up for “a few reasons.” Would those reasons still be an issue this time around? (Be Honest.)

Secondly, not to be unkind (I’m not trying to be) but if you two were as perfect for each other as you’d like to say, you BOTH would want to be together. Not just you. You wouldn’t even be EXES for that matter. You’d still BE together.

Now for the GOOD news….

It IS possible that you two will still end UP together. I’d recommend being the friend still, BUT without the pressure. Make it CASUAL. Be EXTREMELY casual and NOT too lovy dovy. No more reminiscing about the past. Just be friends ONLY for right now. Don’t put too much into your emails/phone calls, etc.

The reason I SAY this, is because the more you reminisce, the more you’ll want something that isn’t happening. (i.e. the more it’ll HURT you.) Plus, if he notices you backing off a little bit, he may see you “slipping away” or wonder why the sudden change in behavior. But if he knows he can still have you back at any moment, he won’t feel as big an “urge” to be with you. We can only pursue what runs away from us. If you’re “all too eager” to get back together, he knows he can take as long as he wants. There’s no sense of urgency, or necessity.

However, if you AREN’T so available, and AREN’T trying to be with him as much, he’ll notice, and perhaps want you MORE.

The next time he wants to see you for dinner, tell him you’re busy, or that you can’t. Don’t just JUMP to see him because he decides to ask you. Unless he’s your man, or wants to BE your man, you don’t owe him anything.

I know it’s hard to be this way with somebody you LOVE, but if it WORKS, it’s what you should do. Good luck.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

August 7th, 2010 @6:07 am  

Dear Michelle,

As difficult as it may be, you have to accept what he says at face value. You started your question by saying that you broke up because he didn’t feel the same way as you. It’s very possible that he liked and misses certain aspects of your relationship but, taken as a whole, he doesn’t see it as the one for him. You can do nothing to make him change his mind. My suggestion is that for your own sake you keep some distance.

Shela Dean
Relationship Coach, Speaker & Bestselling Author

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

August 6th, 2010 @5:23 pm  

You will have to be patient. While he might still have feelings for you, he broke up with you and you offered to get back together and he declined. It sounds like he just wants to be friends. I am sorry, I am sure that is not what you wanted to hear.

Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder blog

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

Sorry, you must register to leave comments.

  • Ask Our Relationship Experts: I don't want to be in the friend zone! (12)
  • Relationship Basics: Cause and Effect (11)
  • The Secret Power of the Alpha Male to Create Uncontrollable Reactions in Women  (10)
  • Ask Our Relationship Experts: My boyfriend abuses me, but I have nowhere to go. (10)
  • Ask Our Relationship Experts: My boyfriend's ex keeps contacting him (10)
  • Ask Our Relationship Experts: My husband is sleeping with his married co-worker (10)
  • Ask Our Relationship Experts: My wife's client has a crush on her and wants her to be his mistress (9)
  • Ask Relationship Experts: My boyfriend feels he's not ready for the emotional investment (9)
  • Ask Our Experts: Should I say, or should I leave him? (8)
  • Ask Our Experts: I'm willing to do anything to bring the passion back to our relationship! (8)

Featured Expert

  • Kypris Aster Drake, M.S., M.A.

    Specialty: Sex
    Location: U.S.

    Posts by Kypris Aster Drake, M.S., M.A.

Check This Out!

Expert Signup

Are you an expert or do you know someone who is? At, we are always looking for helpful experts to share their knowledge with our members.



Featured Article

Some Great Tips!

Ready for a Relationship?

  • Take this fun quiz to find out if you are ready for a relationship or should stay single and just have fun!

    Relationship Readiness Quiz