Betrayed in Tx Asked:
“Hi I have been seriously dating my boyfriend for a few months. It has been love since the 3rd date. He is currently going through a divorce and shares a child with his ex. She has said she doesnt like me from day 1, and tried to start trouble more than once. The first trip he took to visit his son since our relationship started, he cheated on me with his soon to be ex wife. He told me about it right away and says he wants to spend the rest of our lives making it up to me. He seems sincere, and I believe him. Since then we have been trying to work through it together. We have talked about it a several times and most of the questions I have I don’t think I want to know the answer to. For a while they acted like they are still friends and when I told him I couldn’t live with that he started keeping communication with her to a minimum. I know they still have to talk about their son but is there any advice you have on how to deal with this situation? I really think we are made for each other and everyone makes mistakes, but I don’t know how to get past this. I love him very much and want to rebuild trust, Please HELP!”
- Betrayed in Tx (24, Bryan/CS, Texas)
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lol @ Anthony always telling people they’re too young. It cracks me up. lol
Anyway…
The fact that he CONFESSED this to you AS SOON AS IT HAPPENED, says that he’s an honest guy. That’s a GOOD thing. HOWEVER, the fact that he couldn’t resist TEMPTATION, is a BAD thing.
Who’s to say he won’t get weak around her AGAIN? Plus, he may NOT TELL you next time, fearing you won’t TOLERATE a second screw up. These are all things you have to ponder.
Now, on the OTHER hand, ya don’t want your INSECURITIES, or PARANOIA, to be the END of this relationship EITHER.
So, YOU HAVE TO ASK YOURSELF THE FOLLOWING 5 QUESTIONS:
1. “How important is this guy to me?”
2. “Is he really worth stressing myself out, wondering if he’ll cheat again?”
3. “How would I react if he DID cheat again?”
4. “Can I move on and get past this, INSTEAD of continuing to dwell on it?”
5: “Is there any hidden resentment, or secret desire to ‘pay him back’?”
Those ^^ questions are IMPORTANT!
Once you ANSWER them (and I mean COMPLETELY HONESTLY, to YOURSELF) you will be able to make the right decision. Good luck.
P.S. If you need more help, visit my site, and/or EMAIL me:
http://www.TopNotchAdvice.webs.com (webpage)
JayTheAdviceMan@aol.com (email)
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