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3 Comments Already

October 29th, 2009 @10:13 am  

Hi Daniel

You came to rely on this woman and developed feelings for her because she was helping you at a difficult point in your life! This has taken place all throughout history and is known as “The Florence Nightingale Syndrome.”

I don’t know much about AA, but certainly you are no where near being ready to date and the fact that she may have been your sponsor?…stay away and back up on this whole drama. You cannot save her from her troubles, she is the only one who can do it! So let her deal with her drama and issues on her own. Daniel , you take care of you and continue the steps into sobriety.

Though what you think is love at this point? Is not? She rescued you and now you feel the need to rescue her back… let go otherwise I am afraid the progress you have both made will all but disappear!

Good Luck

Gina Landeau
Hello Ms Heartbreak, I’ve been expecting you!

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Suzanne White Montiel Said,
October 28th, 2009 @7:09 pm  

Dear Daniel,

The heart wrenching feelings you’re having for this woman are exactly why it is STRONGLY suggested you abstain from romantic entanglements for the first year of sobriety. You’re not the first person to find himself in such a pickle, young man.

The woman has told you in SEVERAL ways that she does not want to get involved with you, the most important of which is that she’s not involved with you. She doesn’t trust that you’re stable enough to give her and her child what they need, which is understandable considering you are not only in your early 20s, but that you are only recently sober.

She’s lived twice as long as you so don’t you think she knows a bit about life?

Finally, just because you’re young and good-looking does not mean you’d make a suitable life partner, which is clearly what she is seeking. It is a shame she didn’t nip your crush in the bud, but she didn’t and now you have to MOVE ON. You’ll get over her – and many more women – by the time you’re her age.

Suzanne White Montiel
SF Sex and Relationships Examiner

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October 28th, 2009 @6:24 pm  

Good lord, man…

First of all, you are FAR too young to have this kind of drama in your life and she is far too old. The sooner you end it and go on with your lives, the better.

Take all the time you need, but certainly at least the rest of your 20s, to learn how to live on your own without teachers or parents making your rules for you. Travel and enjoy life because you will NEVER be this young and strong again. You have less than 7 years before your long slow decline to the end of this all-too-short lifetime begins in earnest and the decline only gets steeper with time. Learn what matters to you, what you want with your life, and to truly love and respect yourself. Then, when you do begin to mellow, you will have led a rich life and will honor yourself enough to find someone who honors you just as much. Then and only then start thinking about settling down.

In the meantime, have as much fun as you want. I dated much older women in my early 20s and will never forget the fun I had. Just don’t take any of it too seriously.

Anthony Hernandez

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