Expert advice to get your relationships back on track
2010
Aaron Asked:“Well my gilfriend is mad at me and is giving serious thought into moving and ending the relationship. She told me to prove that I love her after when I tell her that i love her she says there just words prove that you love me. I don’t know how to prove that I love her. I need help and help quick.”
- Aaron (26, Kansas City)
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Dear Aaron,
You don’t say why your girlfriend is mad at you and thinking of leaving. Or, what it is you have done (or she thinks you’ve done) that has made her question your love. That would be helpful in giving advice. Bottom line, however, is that you can’t instantly “prove” you love her by saying or doing anything. You show that you love someone with consistently loving behavior, by being trustworthy and loyal. That takes time, especially if you’ve got some lost ground to recover because of a breach of trust, etc.
If your girlfriend is demanding proof of your love, you need to ask her what she needs to feel loved by you. If her answer is reasonable under the circumstances, then you need to decide whether you can deliver. If she can’t answer the question or her answer is unreasonable, then perhaps you need to reconsider whether it’s wise to remain in the relationship.
Best,
Shela Dean
Relationship Coach, Speaker & Bestselling Author
http://www.ShelaDean.com
http://www.FrequentForeplayMiles.com
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Aaron:
It sounds like you are not paying enough attention to romancing the girlfriend. Taking her out to dinner and a movie, giving her a head to toe massage, bringing home some flowers just because.
It also sounds like she is angling for a marriage proposal.
I suggest that you sit her down and tell her that you want to prove your love and that you need her input into what ways you could do that. Women often will say at this point, well if I have to tell you, then forget it, you should know what I want. I suggest that if she pulls that with you to explain that you are not a mind reader, just because you love her. You do love her don’t you?
You need to step up to the plate here. If you are truly not ready to get married, I would not be bullied into it even if it means that she splits. You did not say how long you have been with her. That would be helpful info to give you better advice.
Blessings on you and yours
John Wilder
marriagecoach1.wordpress.com blog
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Kypris Aster Drake, M.S., M.A.
Specialty: Sex, Book Author
Location: CA, U.S
Posts by Kypris Aster Drake, M.S., M.A.
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Take this fun quiz to find out if you are ready for a relationship or should stay single and just have fun!
“Actions speak louder than words.”
Are your actions showing her that you love her?
Why does she think you DON’T?
How is your relationship?
Are you controlling, mean, indifferent, unkind, uncaring, etc.?
I’ll need more to go on, before I can really help you.
For now, all I can say is, pay attention to the things she says are IMPORTANT to her, and DO them. I’m not saying be her DOORMAT. But if quality time matters to her, SPEND some with her. If putting her before your friends on occasion is something she would appreciate, DO IT!
You don’t have to do EVERYTHING for her. But if you know something’s IMPORTANT to her, try to make her happy.
Good luck.
JayTheAdviceMan@aol.com
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