Expert advice to get your relationships back on track
2009
Anthony Asked:“I met this girl and I’m attracted to her. I move too fast into relationships and I want this one to turn into something special. How do I slow down and not move so fast in the beginning of a relationship without scaring the girl away?”
- Anthony(24, Illinois)
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Hey Anthony:
I know how you feel. When people rush relationships it is because you want the security of a relationship and you are trying to feed your insecurity.
Believe it or not, women like to be insecure in the beginning and are attracted to guys who are strong and self confident. In other words they want to have to work for the the relationship. I know you can’t wrap yourself around that concept but believe me, if you try it you might decide that you like it. Your relationhships will be better as well.
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Hi Anthony
You have already made the first step, that being said that you know you rush into relationships too quickly! In those very words is your answer…try to control your insecurities before moving the relationship into high speed! In the beginning, it is always hot and words and emotions can flow way too freely….try to enjoy the special moments without the need to say I love you so quickly. Often if we just allow fate to reveal it’s plan for us day by day? Then it is there that we might find our own solutions to the questions that often elude us?
So I can’t tell you how to slow things down Anthony! That is within your power, because if you just look into your past and recognize the signs…then you can do something to make the future different! Don’t worry so and allow this to become whatever it will become…
good luck
Gina Landeau
Hello Ms Heartbreak, I’ve been expecting you!
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Dear Anthony,
Do the opposite of what you think sabotaged your previous relationships. Yep, it’s that simple. Feel the need to tell her you love her after three dates? DON’T. Want to suggest you move in together after four dates? STOP IT.
That being said, doing the opposite will not guarantee you a lasting relationship. All relationships have a natural lifespan, some much shorter than others. When both people are on the same page everything seems to fit into place. This may be a long relationship, or it may be a short one, but that is up to you, her, and the way the two of you relate to each other.
Let things happen naturally and you’ll learn how you want to be in relationships and how you want your partners to be as well. You’ve got plenty of time.
Sincerely,
Suzanne White Montiel
SF Sex and Relationships Examiner
http://www.examiner.com/x-14163-SF-Sex-and-Relationships-Examiner
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You learn to love yourself and be secure in yourself and who you are and what really matters to you. Because if you cannot relate to yourself on that level then you A) cannot relate to anyone else on that level, and b) cannot expect anyone else to relate with you on that level.
Your going to fast approach means you haven’t figured yourself out yet and are trying to make shortcuts around that insecurity by camouflaging it in relationships.
Thing is, at 24, you’re barely an adult and barely used to living life on your own terms. You should be spending this time having fun and using your all-too-short time of youthful strength and exuberance to travel, explore, and really figure out who you are. Have as much sex as you want, just don’t get serious. Then, in your 30s, once you start to slow down and figure out what really matters to you, you will be in a position to attract the right relationship into your life. You will know this relationship because you won’t be asking questions about too fast or too slow… it will just happen, naturally. Otherwise, you’re trying to push a river, which is silly because rivers flow on their own.
Anthony Hernandez
http://www.theenlightenedsavage.com
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Anthony,
I would suggest just being yourself. Don’t let infatuation over rule your better judgement. All good things take time. With that be said, don’t come off overly anxious for she may be turned off by it. Relax, let her see your personality and alow time to see hers. And if it terms into a long term relationship then wonderful. If not then appreciate the time you had together and look forward to the next one. Rushing into relationships and moving to fast can be a potential diseaster, in so many diffrent ways. So take every day at a time.
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