Comments on: Ask Our Relationship Experts: How can I stop my boyfriend trying to make me jealous? http://advice.lovedetour.com/Admin/ask-our-relationship-experts-how-can-i-stop-my-boyfriend-trying-to-make-me-jealous.html Expert advice to get your relationships back on track Fri, 10 Feb 2012 21:32:47 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil http://advice.lovedetour.com/Admin/ask-our-relationship-experts-how-can-i-stop-my-boyfriend-trying-to-make-me-jealous.html/comment-page-1#comment-1402 Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil Thu, 22 Apr 2010 11:50:31 +0000 http://advice.lovedetour.com/?p=5212#comment-1402 Hi Pamela, Communication is key in a relationship. I believe in using Smart Heart Dialogue, it is a safe way of discussing situations with your boyfriend. You need to share your thoughts without being harsh or accusing. Perhaps tell him your feelings calmly and without argument. Arguments should be by appt only and fighting fairly. I have tips on my website that may help at www.doctorbonnie.com. Hi Pamela,
Communication is key in a relationship. I believe in using Smart Heart Dialogue, it is a safe way of discussing situations with your boyfriend. You need to share your thoughts without being harsh or accusing. Perhaps tell him your feelings calmly and without argument. Arguments should be by appt only and fighting fairly. I have tips on my website that may help at http://www.doctorbonnie.com.

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]]> By: Gina Landeau http://advice.lovedetour.com/Admin/ask-our-relationship-experts-how-can-i-stop-my-boyfriend-trying-to-make-me-jealous.html/comment-page-1#comment-1394 Gina Landeau Tue, 20 Apr 2010 15:36:25 +0000 http://advice.lovedetour.com/?p=5212#comment-1394 Hi Pamela You have to know that this jealousy thing is your own issue of not feeling good enough for him. Though he might be baiting you with his words? You are still in control of how or if you react? I know it is hard but find validation of yourself from within and don't let him push your buttons! Instead of wondering if you are good enough for him maybe your question should be is he good enough for Pamela? Good Luck Gina Landeau Hello Ms Heartbreak, I've been expecting you! HelloMsHeartbreak@yahoo.com Hi Pamela

You have to know that this jealousy thing is your own issue of not feeling good enough for him. Though he might be baiting you with his words? You are still in control of how or if you react? I know it is hard but find validation of yourself from within and don’t let him push your buttons! Instead of wondering if you are good enough for him maybe your question should be is he good enough for Pamela?

Good Luck

Gina Landeau
Hello Ms Heartbreak, I’ve been expecting you!

HelloMsHeartbreak@yahoo.com

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]]> By: Gina Landeau http://advice.lovedetour.com/Admin/ask-our-relationship-experts-how-can-i-stop-my-boyfriend-trying-to-make-me-jealous.html/comment-page-1#comment-1393 Gina Landeau Tue, 20 Apr 2010 15:31:42 +0000 http://advice.lovedetour.com/?p=5212#comment-1393 Hi Pamela Hi Pamela

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]]> By: Suzanne White Montiel http://advice.lovedetour.com/Admin/ask-our-relationship-experts-how-can-i-stop-my-boyfriend-trying-to-make-me-jealous.html/comment-page-1#comment-1390 Suzanne White Montiel Sun, 18 Apr 2010 19:07:28 +0000 http://advice.lovedetour.com/?p=5212#comment-1390 Dear Pamela, He is not MAKING you anything; you are in control of your own feelings. Seems like he does think it's funny to get you riled up. He may think that your protestations are part of the joke, too. When you are both calm – when you are not in the midst of your jealous anger – tell him that you really and truly do not find his talk of girls or his attempts at making you feel jealous funny, that they are not at all appreciated. Be firm but not angry. Make it clear that you are serious and that you do not like his "jokes" at all. If, after you have communicated your true feelings in a calm manner, he continues to behave the same then you need to think about your relationship. Hopefully it won't come to that. Sincerely, Suzanne White Montiel SF Sex and Relationships Examiner http://www.examiner.com/x-14163-SF-Sex-and-Relationships-Examiner Dear Pamela,

He is not MAKING you anything; you are in control of your own feelings.

Seems like he does think it’s funny to get you riled up. He may think that your protestations are part of the joke, too.

When you are both calm – when you are not in the midst of your jealous anger – tell him that you really and truly do not find his talk of girls or his attempts at making you feel jealous funny, that they are not at all appreciated. Be firm but not angry. Make it clear that you are serious and that you do not like his “jokes” at all.

If, after you have communicated your true feelings in a calm manner, he continues to behave the same then you need to think about your relationship. Hopefully it won’t come to that.

Sincerely,

Suzanne White Montiel
SF Sex and Relationships Examiner
http://www.examiner.com/x-14163-SF-Sex-and-Relationships-Examiner

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]]> By: Anthony Hernandez http://advice.lovedetour.com/Admin/ask-our-relationship-experts-how-can-i-stop-my-boyfriend-trying-to-make-me-jealous.html/comment-page-1#comment-1374 Anthony Hernandez Sat, 17 Apr 2010 03:15:15 +0000 http://advice.lovedetour.com/?p=5212#comment-1374 The only reason you are jealous is because you have not learned to love and accept yourself for who you are. You cannot and will not do this until you are at least 30 and that only if you spend your 20s actively making your own rules and learning what is important to you and learning to love and accept that unconditionally. Then and only then will you be ready for a truly mature relationship. And 30 is the youngest possible age for this to happen. Many people never reach this point in life. In the meantime, you will only get as much love and respect from others as you have for yourself. This guy is treating you like dirt and you have let it go on for 5 years because you don't love and respect yourself. And if you don't love and respect yourself, how can you ask anyone else to do it? Leave this guy and go find and learn to love yourself. Have as much sex with as many men and women as you like in the meantime, just do not take it seriously. Anthony Hernandez www.theenlightenedsavage.com The only reason you are jealous is because you have not learned to love and accept yourself for who you are. You cannot and will not do this until you are at least 30 and that only if you spend your 20s actively making your own rules and learning what is important to you and learning to love and accept that unconditionally. Then and only then will you be ready for a truly mature relationship. And 30 is the youngest possible age for this to happen. Many people never reach this point in life.

In the meantime, you will only get as much love and respect from others as you have for yourself. This guy is treating you like dirt and you have let it go on for 5 years because you don’t love and respect yourself. And if you don’t love and respect yourself, how can you ask anyone else to do it?

Leave this guy and go find and learn to love yourself. Have as much sex with as many men and women as you like in the meantime, just do not take it seriously.

Anthony Hernandez
http://www.theenlightenedsavage.com

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]]> By: Jason Love http://advice.lovedetour.com/Admin/ask-our-relationship-experts-how-can-i-stop-my-boyfriend-trying-to-make-me-jealous.html/comment-page-1#comment-1371 Jason Love Sat, 17 Apr 2010 02:07:27 +0000 http://advice.lovedetour.com/?p=5212#comment-1371 I agree with Jon here. Enough is enough. Either he stops doing it, or you break it off with him. It's that simple. Now, if you DON'T wish to break it off with him, you need to STOP letting his antics GET to you! Even if it DOES make you jealous, STOP SHOWING HIM it does. He ONLY DOES IT because it WORKS! The NEXT time he says something about another girl, say "Oh, ok. So check this out..." and IMMEDIATELY move into another story, that has NOTHING TO DO with what he said. He'll be CONFUSED because you're NOT FEEDING INTO IT like you used to. And he will EVENTUALLY STOP! If he keeps it up, play ALONG with him. If he says "Oh I was with this girl", just be like "Oh, cool. Did she go down on you?" He'll be SHOCKED that you reacted like that. Again, PLAY ALONG and DON'T let him GET to you. If he keeps it going and says "Yeah she did, and it was GOOD, TOO!" Say "Cool. I wish I could have watched. But anyway, what do you want for dinner?" and just COMPLETELY BYPASS IT! This is the only alternative to you breaking UP with him. Also, he MIGHT be doing this because doesn't WANT you as badly anymore. Maybe you've become unattractive to him lately, so he wants to "point out" girls to you that look more his style, as a "hint" to you or something. Either way, you need to STOP it. And I've already told you how. Hell, if ANYTHING, make HIM jealous next time. If he says he was out with some girl, tell him you were out with some GUY! (Unless that's against your culture's rules or religion, then I wouldn't advise it. You don't want to get be-headed or anything.) Anyway, just don't let him get to you, ok? Good luck. JayTheAdviceMan@aol.com I agree with Jon here. Enough is enough. Either he stops doing it, or you break it off with him. It’s that simple.

Now, if you DON’T wish to break it off with him, you need to STOP letting his antics GET to you! Even if it DOES make you jealous, STOP SHOWING HIM it does. He ONLY DOES IT because it WORKS!

The NEXT time he says something about another girl, say “Oh, ok. So check this out…” and IMMEDIATELY move into another story, that has NOTHING TO DO with what he said. He’ll be CONFUSED because you’re NOT FEEDING INTO IT like you used to. And he will EVENTUALLY STOP!

If he keeps it up, play ALONG with him. If he says “Oh I was with this girl”, just be like “Oh, cool. Did she go down on you?” He’ll be SHOCKED that you reacted like that. Again, PLAY ALONG and DON’T let him GET to you. If he keeps it going and says “Yeah she did, and it was GOOD, TOO!” Say “Cool. I wish I could have watched. But anyway, what do you want for dinner?” and just COMPLETELY BYPASS IT!

This is the only alternative to you breaking UP with him.

Also, he MIGHT be doing this because doesn’t WANT you as badly anymore. Maybe you’ve become unattractive to him lately, so he wants to “point out” girls to you that look more his style, as a “hint” to you or something. Either way, you need to STOP it. And I’ve already told you how.

Hell, if ANYTHING, make HIM jealous next time. If he says he was out with some girl, tell him you were out with some GUY! (Unless that’s against your culture’s rules or religion, then I wouldn’t advise it. You don’t want to get be-headed or anything.)

Anyway, just don’t let him get to you, ok? Good luck.

JayTheAdviceMan@aol.com

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]]> By: John Wilder http://advice.lovedetour.com/Admin/ask-our-relationship-experts-how-can-i-stop-my-boyfriend-trying-to-make-me-jealous.html/comment-page-1#comment-1364 John Wilder Sat, 17 Apr 2010 01:02:17 +0000 http://advice.lovedetour.com/?p=5212#comment-1364 Hey Pamela: Your boyfriend has a sadistic streak plus he is not showing you respect. You need to give him an ultimatum, he either stops tormenting you or you are breaking it off. You really don;t want to spend the rest of your life like this do you? You need to be prepared to back up your threat or he will just keep it up. This is the time that you need to get tough and prepare for the heart break of breaking up with him, but it is too important to let him get away with it any longer Blessings on you and yours marriagecoach1@yahoo.com marriagecoach1.wordpress.com Hey Pamela:
Your boyfriend has a sadistic streak plus he is not showing you respect. You need to give him an ultimatum, he either stops tormenting you or you are breaking it off. You really don;t want to spend the rest of your life like this do you?

You need to be prepared to back up your threat or he will just keep it up. This is the time that you need to get tough and prepare for the heart break of breaking up with him, but it is too important to let him get away with it any longer

Blessings on you and yours

marriagecoach1@yahoo.com

marriagecoach1.wordpress.com

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