Apr 16

2010

Ask Our Relationship Experts: How can I stop my boyfriend trying to make me jealous?

Written by    Category: Ask Our Experts, Communication, Dating, For Your Consideration, Relationships, Self-Improvement, Women's Dating Tips    Tags: , , , , , , ,    

advice.lovedetour.com Ask Our Relationship Experts: How can I stop my boyfriend trying to make me jealous? askourexperts2 imagePamela Asked:

“im in a relationship with a guy for 5 years now. he was my best friend before and we were so close. we still are so close and tell everything to each other. i trust him and im sure he will never cheat on me, however we always fight over stupid things and most of the time its because he makes me jealous!!im so sensitive, in love and really jealous sometimes..maybe i overreact and do crazy things but i think its normal to be jealous specially when it comes in relationships..however instead of being less jealous, he’s making me every other day more and more jealous…and everytime he makes me angry with his JOKES(that’s how he likes to call it) for example, when im with him he tries to make me see that he’s looking at a girl or when i ask him where was he he tells me he was with a girl or i don’t know stupid things. bottom line: HE ALWAYS TRIES TO MAKE ME JEALOUS.. i just wanna know how can i stop him do that??what should i do???cuz it really makes me angry!!i think we cannot call these things JOKES since they’re not funny!!!why the hell is he going to joke about girls every time??he was with a girl, he saw a girl, he studied with that girl, the girl called herrr.. etc..why?? i just wanna make him stop making me jealous.. howww? help me advice.lovedetour.com Ask Our Relationship Experts: How can I stop my boyfriend trying to make me jealous? icon sad image

ps: there’s no specific girl!!”

- Pamela (21, Lebanon)


advice.lovedetour.com Ask Our Relationship Experts: How can I stop my boyfriend trying to make me jealous? button image

Rate This Post:

Did you like this article? Submit it to your favorite social bookmarking sites:

7 comments




About The Expert

On our About the Expert page, you can learn more about the author, including contact information and other posts they've written. About .

Related Posts:

Comments:

7 Comments Already

mygif
Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil Said,
April 22nd, 2010 @4:50 am  

Hi Pamela,
Communication is key in a relationship. I believe in using Smart Heart Dialogue, it is a safe way of discussing situations with your boyfriend. You need to share your thoughts without being harsh or accusing. Perhaps tell him your feelings calmly and without argument. Arguments should be by appt only and fighting fairly. I have tips on my website that may help at http://www.doctorbonnie.com.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

mygif
Gina Landeau Said,
April 20th, 2010 @8:36 am  

Hi Pamela

You have to know that this jealousy thing is your own issue of not feeling good enough for him. Though he might be baiting you with his words? You are still in control of how or if you react? I know it is hard but find validation of yourself from within and don’t let him push your buttons! Instead of wondering if you are good enough for him maybe your question should be is he good enough for Pamela?

Good Luck

Gina Landeau
Hello Ms Heartbreak, I’ve been expecting you!

HelloMsHeartbreak@yahoo.com

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

mygif
Gina Landeau Said,
April 20th, 2010 @8:31 am  

Hi Pamela

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

mygif
Suzanne White Montiel Said,
April 18th, 2010 @12:07 pm  

Dear Pamela,

He is not MAKING you anything; you are in control of your own feelings.

Seems like he does think it’s funny to get you riled up. He may think that your protestations are part of the joke, too.

When you are both calm – when you are not in the midst of your jealous anger – tell him that you really and truly do not find his talk of girls or his attempts at making you feel jealous funny, that they are not at all appreciated. Be firm but not angry. Make it clear that you are serious and that you do not like his “jokes” at all.

If, after you have communicated your true feelings in a calm manner, he continues to behave the same then you need to think about your relationship. Hopefully it won’t come to that.

Sincerely,

Suzanne White Montiel
SF Sex and Relationships Examiner
http://www.examiner.com/x-14163-SF-Sex-and-Relationships-Examiner

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

mygif
Anthony Hernandez Said,
April 16th, 2010 @8:15 pm  

The only reason you are jealous is because you have not learned to love and accept yourself for who you are. You cannot and will not do this until you are at least 30 and that only if you spend your 20s actively making your own rules and learning what is important to you and learning to love and accept that unconditionally. Then and only then will you be ready for a truly mature relationship. And 30 is the youngest possible age for this to happen. Many people never reach this point in life.

In the meantime, you will only get as much love and respect from others as you have for yourself. This guy is treating you like dirt and you have let it go on for 5 years because you don’t love and respect yourself. And if you don’t love and respect yourself, how can you ask anyone else to do it?

Leave this guy and go find and learn to love yourself. Have as much sex with as many men and women as you like in the meantime, just do not take it seriously.

Anthony Hernandez
http://www.theenlightenedsavage.com

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

mygif
Jason Love Said,
April 16th, 2010 @7:07 pm  

I agree with Jon here. Enough is enough. Either he stops doing it, or you break it off with him. It’s that simple.

Now, if you DON’T wish to break it off with him, you need to STOP letting his antics GET to you! Even if it DOES make you jealous, STOP SHOWING HIM it does. He ONLY DOES IT because it WORKS!

The NEXT time he says something about another girl, say “Oh, ok. So check this out…” and IMMEDIATELY move into another story, that has NOTHING TO DO with what he said. He’ll be CONFUSED because you’re NOT FEEDING INTO IT like you used to. And he will EVENTUALLY STOP!

If he keeps it up, play ALONG with him. If he says “Oh I was with this girl”, just be like “Oh, cool. Did she go down on you?” He’ll be SHOCKED that you reacted like that. Again, PLAY ALONG and DON’T let him GET to you. If he keeps it going and says “Yeah she did, and it was GOOD, TOO!” Say “Cool. I wish I could have watched. But anyway, what do you want for dinner?” and just COMPLETELY BYPASS IT!

This is the only alternative to you breaking UP with him.

Also, he MIGHT be doing this because doesn’t WANT you as badly anymore. Maybe you’ve become unattractive to him lately, so he wants to “point out” girls to you that look more his style, as a “hint” to you or something. Either way, you need to STOP it. And I’ve already told you how.

Hell, if ANYTHING, make HIM jealous next time. If he says he was out with some girl, tell him you were out with some GUY! (Unless that’s against your culture’s rules or religion, then I wouldn’t advise it. You don’t want to get be-headed or anything.)

Anyway, just don’t let him get to you, ok? Good luck.

JayTheAdviceMan@aol.com

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

mygif
John Wilder Said,
April 16th, 2010 @6:02 pm  

Hey Pamela:
Your boyfriend has a sadistic streak plus he is not showing you respect. You need to give him an ultimatum, he either stops tormenting you or you are breaking it off. You really don;t want to spend the rest of your life like this do you?

You need to be prepared to back up your threat or he will just keep it up. This is the time that you need to get tough and prepare for the heart break of breaking up with him, but it is too important to let him get away with it any longer

Blessings on you and yours

marriagecoach1@yahoo.com

marriagecoach1.wordpress.com

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 0

Sorry, you must register to leave comments.

«
»
  • Ask Our Relationship Experts: I don't want to be in the friend zone! (12)
  • Relationship Basics: Cause and Effect (11)
  • The Secret Power of the Alpha Male to Create Uncontrollable Reactions in Women  (10)
  • Ask Our Relationship Experts: My boyfriend abuses me, but I have nowhere to go. (10)
  • Ask Our Relationship Experts: My boyfriend's ex keeps contacting him (10)
  • Ask Our Relationship Experts: My husband is sleeping with his married co-worker (10)
  • Ask Our Relationship Experts: My wife's client has a crush on her and wants her to be his mistress (9)
  • Ask Relationship Experts: My boyfriend feels he's not ready for the emotional investment (9)
  • Ask Our Experts: Should I say, or should I leave him? (8)
  • Ask Our Experts: I'm willing to do anything to bring the passion back to our relationship! (8)

Featured Expert

  • Kypris Aster Drake, M.S., M.A.

    Specialty: Sex, Book Author
    Location: CA, U.S

    Posts by Kypris Aster Drake, M.S., M.A.

Categories

Check This Out!

Expert Signup

Are you an expert or do you know someone who is? At Advice.LoveDetour.com, we are always looking for helpful experts to share their knowledge with our members.

Meta

Search

Featured Article

Donate to the Site!

  • If you are happy with the results please help us keep the site alive by donating to us! Every dollar counts! Thank you in advance!

Ready for a Relationship?

  • Take this fun quiz to find out if you are ready for a relationship or should stay single and just have fun!

    Relationship Readiness Quiz

Archives

Feeling Little Naughty?