Danielle Asked:
“Me and my boyfriend have been dating for over 1 month (okay.. not long.. i know) We met through the internet (not the best way, I admit) but I know some of his friends and met his family, since his house & school is so close to mine. He’s really gentle, caring and innocent. Still plays with plushies! Although – At first I wondered how he could ‘love’ me so easily. We kissed right when we saw eachother, and only met eachother like 2~3 days prior. I thought it was strange, but I trusted in it. There was a bit of drama concerning my ex, but we overcame it, and hes still with me. But just recently I found out about just how many girls he’s been with.. about 5 or 6. 3 or 4 of them in real life, the others via internet. They had ALOT of drama with him. I mean ALOT. And to all of them he said the same things. “I will love you forever~!” “Always only you<3″ He told me he was a virgin , and we’ve had sex more than once already. Then his ex messaged me telling me, “you wont last long. he will just convince you to have unprotected sex with him like he did to me, and then move to another girl. probably will only last 2 weeks max!”
But we’ve lasted over 1 month now, and things only seem to be getting better.
What I’m asking is, seeing all the girls he’s been with, all the drama hes done, and all the same things he’s said, should I be worried? I can see I’m the longest lasting gf he’s had.. and I dont mean to be rude, but compared to his previous gf’s, i’m very innocent and have a good life.. lol.
I guess the problem here is, is he really just in it for the point of having a gf, having someone to have sex with? Or does he really love me..? He has done so much for me.. but is it love..? Or will I just be another one of his girls..It seems like I’m the one who needs more trust in him. His facebook and msn is loaded up with pictures of me and him and my name, but whenever I’m not talking to him or with him, I constantly worry if he’s talking to some other girls or doing nasty things with girls over the internet. What can I do to prove his trust to me??? 
I want to trust him so much! Because I feel like i do love him alot (even though it hasnt been long) – but I want to make sure the love will be safe. He told me to forget our pasts, but it still worries me. I know most people have had ex’s and drama.. I’ve had a bit of my share I suppose.. But how can I get rid of my lack of trust?”
- Danielle (17, Markham, Ontario, Canada)
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Dear Danielle,
You are learning about yourself and others and how relationships work. You are learning that over the course of their lives people change little, but may have 180º changes from one relationship to the next.
Your boyfriend may behave differently with you than he did with his previous girlfriends, but chances are he won’t. It’s best to be a bit cautious with someone who has the history your boyfriend has.
A month into a relationship it’s difficult to tell much about the relationship’s future. And a month certainly isn’t long even if it’s longer than past relationships.
Chances are you don’t love each other. You will eventually learn what love is. In the mean time, relax and just have fun.
Sincerely,
Suzanne White Montiel
SF Sex and Relationships Examiner
http://www.examiner.com/x-14163-SF-Sex-and-Relationships-Examiner
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