Comments on: Ask Our Relationship Experts: He doesn’t want to have sex with me anymore http://advice.lovedetour.com/Admin/ask-our-relationship-experts-he-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me-anymore.html Expert advice to get your relationships back on track Thu, 09 Sep 2010 01:49:21 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Suzanne White Montiel http://advice.lovedetour.com/Admin/ask-our-relationship-experts-he-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me-anymore.html/comment-page-1#comment-1270 Suzanne White Montiel Sat, 20 Mar 2010 18:52:30 +0000 http://advice.lovedetour.com/?p=5023#comment-1270 Dear Sarah, Is a month without sex too long for you? If so, then you need to seek sex elsewhere and/or break up with your guy. Another option is to change your definition of "sex." Seems silly, but there are things other than penis-in-vagina intercourse with ejaculation that are intimate and enjoyable for both partners. Perhaps he feels pressure to perform when he simply does not have the energy to have an orgasm, or to "give" you one. Try other acts of intimacy without the need for a goal other than feeling good spending time with each other. If there's no pressure then perhaps things will happen organically. Ultimately, your sex life is in your own hands. If you want to have sex – however you define it – more often then it is your responsibility to make it happen, either with him, with yourself (yep, that's sex too), or with others. Sincerely, Suzanne White Montiel SF Sex and Relationships Examiner http://www.examiner.com/x-14163-SF-Sex-and-Relationships-Examiner Dear Sarah,

Is a month without sex too long for you? If so, then you need to seek sex elsewhere and/or break up with your guy.

Another option is to change your definition of “sex.” Seems silly, but there are things other than penis-in-vagina intercourse with ejaculation that are intimate and enjoyable for both partners. Perhaps he feels pressure to perform when he simply does not have the energy to have an orgasm, or to “give” you one. Try other acts of intimacy without the need for a goal other than feeling good spending time with each other. If there’s no pressure then perhaps things will happen organically.

Ultimately, your sex life is in your own hands. If you want to have sex – however you define it – more often then it is your responsibility to make it happen, either with him, with yourself (yep, that’s sex too), or with others.

Sincerely,

Suzanne White Montiel
SF Sex and Relationships Examiner
http://www.examiner.com/x-14163-SF-Sex-and-Relationships-Examiner

]]> By: Jason Love http://advice.lovedetour.com/Admin/ask-our-relationship-experts-he-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me-anymore.html/comment-page-1#comment-1264 Jason Love Sat, 20 Mar 2010 13:25:49 +0000 http://advice.lovedetour.com/?p=5023#comment-1264 Ehh, I can SEE why you'd WONDER about this. But at the same TIME, this COULD be NOTHING. After all, didn't you say the OTHER aspects of the relationship are still the same? He still cuddles with you, holds hands, treats you well, kisses you, etc. so there IS A CHANCE that he's telling the TRUTH! However, just because it SEEMS like the truth, doesn't mean it IS. Do you guys EVER have sex? Does he try to stop when you initiate it, or does he just initiate it LESS now? Try going down on him randomly one day, see how he reacts. I don't know many guys that just DON'T DESIRE sex. Even if it's not on their MIND or they're not in the MOOD, that can usually be changed pretty quickly. I'd suggest trying to spice things up, without really letting him know what you're up to. Do you know what kind of stuff he LIKES? Maybe there's a FANTASY he'd be into, that you two haven't TRIED yet. Maybe there's something you won't do, or haven't done, that you know would turn him on. Try suggesting , or better yet, spontaneously TRYING one of them, to see how he reacts to it. Maybe even a THREESOME (if you can HANDLE it) Anything that YOU believe, might get him out of this sexual funk he appears to be in. Good luck! JayTheAdviceMan@aol.com Ehh, I can SEE why you’d WONDER about this. But at the same TIME, this COULD be NOTHING. After all, didn’t you say the OTHER aspects of the relationship are still the same?

He still cuddles with you, holds hands, treats you well, kisses you, etc. so there IS A CHANCE that he’s telling the TRUTH!

However, just because it SEEMS like the truth, doesn’t mean it IS. Do you guys EVER have sex? Does he try to stop when you initiate it, or does he just initiate it LESS now?

Try going down on him randomly one day, see how he reacts. I don’t know many guys that just DON’T DESIRE sex. Even if it’s not on their MIND or they’re not in the MOOD, that can usually be changed pretty quickly.

I’d suggest trying to spice things up, without really letting him know what you’re up to. Do you know what kind of stuff he LIKES? Maybe there’s a FANTASY he’d be into, that you two haven’t TRIED yet. Maybe there’s something you won’t do, or haven’t done, that you know would turn him on. Try suggesting , or better yet, spontaneously TRYING one of them, to see how he reacts to it. Maybe even a THREESOME (if you can HANDLE it) Anything that YOU believe, might get him out of this sexual funk he appears to be in.

Good luck!

JayTheAdviceMan@aol.com

]]> By: Anthony Hernandez http://advice.lovedetour.com/Admin/ask-our-relationship-experts-he-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me-anymore.html/comment-page-1#comment-1255 Anthony Hernandez Sat, 20 Mar 2010 04:22:12 +0000 http://advice.lovedetour.com/?p=5023#comment-1255 Anti-depressants can indeed have serious sexual side effects and that coupled with his drinking (which was getting excessive, by his own admission) can explain everything. How long is too long without sex? There is no right or wrong answer. If you love him but are climbing the walls then you can explore getting toys and/or finding other ways for him to get you off. If that doesn't work, make an arrangement to have sex with others. Yes there is a risk that might lead to you meeting someone that will cause you to end the current relationship but that's the risk anyway since 2/3 of men and like 50% of women "cheat." Love and sex are two totally separate things. Your horniness stems from the fact that you are in your biological prime and millions of years of instinct are telling you to have sex. You cannot and will not ever be able to hold these instincts at bay for very long. So you can either break it off now and go find a more willing partner, find ways for him to get you off, or agree that you will have (safe) sex with others. Remember, the cheating is not in the having sex but in the violating any agreements you may have. Anthony Hernandez www.theenlightenedsavage.com Anti-depressants can indeed have serious sexual side effects and that coupled with his drinking (which was getting excessive, by his own admission) can explain everything.

How long is too long without sex? There is no right or wrong answer. If you love him but are climbing the walls then you can explore getting toys and/or finding other ways for him to get you off. If that doesn’t work, make an arrangement to have sex with others. Yes there is a risk that might lead to you meeting someone that will cause you to end the current relationship but that’s the risk anyway since 2/3 of men and like 50% of women “cheat.”

Love and sex are two totally separate things. Your horniness stems from the fact that you are in your biological prime and millions of years of instinct are telling you to have sex. You cannot and will not ever be able to hold these instincts at bay for very long. So you can either break it off now and go find a more willing partner, find ways for him to get you off, or agree that you will have (safe) sex with others. Remember, the cheating is not in the having sex but in the violating any agreements you may have.

Anthony Hernandez
http://www.theenlightenedsavage.com

]]> By: John Wilder http://advice.lovedetour.com/Admin/ask-our-relationship-experts-he-doesnt-want-to-have-sex-with-me-anymore.html/comment-page-1#comment-1254 John Wilder Sat, 20 Mar 2010 03:09:17 +0000 http://advice.lovedetour.com/?p=5023#comment-1254 I would read up on the internet if his particular anti depressants have any sexual side effects. I suspect that they don't but you need to find out for sure. You can always have the doctor change his anti depressants to ones that have less sexual side effects. I would also ask him if he is screwing another woman on the side? It does not smell right to me. marriagecoach1@yahoo.com marriagecoach1.wordpress.com blog I would read up on the internet if his particular anti depressants have any sexual side effects. I suspect that they don’t but you need to find out for sure. You can always have the doctor change his anti depressants to ones that have less sexual side effects.

I would also ask him if he is screwing another woman on the side? It does not smell right to me.

marriagecoach1@yahoo.com

marriagecoach1.wordpress.com blog

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