Dianna Asked:
“Hi, I found out that my ex-bf has been two-timing me throughout the 3mths29days that we’ve been together. He has another long time gf of 17mths. This secret of his was exposed on the day when I happen to be in the same place as that couple. 3 of us quarrelled and he kept telling the girl he loves her and wants to be with her and he’s very sorry. He totally ignored me and i was left to feel sorry for myself alone. Worse still, he told me straight in my face that “yes, I was two-timing u.So can u leave now”. It hurts so much.
During the 3mths+ period, we did all sorts of couple things and he was nice to me as a bf. Assuring me of his love and says he misses me which totally sounded like he meant it. Because i’m someone who gets paranoid rather easily, he said things like “I don’t hook up. I do couple-ly things with my gf only, and that’s u”. That is y i trusted him, even after i found suspicious things in his room, like hairband and a picture and letter from his most recent “ex”(his 17mths still ongoing long time gf). I told him just admit if he is really cheating but he chose to lie and gave acceptable reasons for the things i found. He told me this “ex” lasted 5mths and she still kept pestering him with msges and calls. She also kept threatening him with suicidal intentions. He told me he has been ignoring him until one day she stop bothering him.
I can’t believe he said such things about her. And i can’t believe he lied to me w/o battering an eyelid.
On the first day after secret was exposed and i broke up with him, he said all he wants to say was a deep sorry. On the 2nd day after secret was exposed, I called to ask him if there was any moment when we were together, that he meant it when he say “i love u”, or had true feelings for me for even a moment, he told me, “i really don’t know”. I said even a no answer won’t hurt me, he still said the same reply.
I can never be with a man who cheats on me, even just once. I know i deserve better that’s y i left him. Whereas she chose to stay with him, again, despite this not being the first time he cheats. According to her and to my astonishment, there were many girls before me during their 17mths tog.
All i want to ask u is, do u think he has ever truly love me once? Or was i just a plaything/object in his eyes all the while?”
- Dianna (21, Singapore)
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Dianna,
i think there was a little of both. Yes there are players in the world and this guy surely was one, but i’m sure he had feelings for you since he did spend personal time. What’s more important is that you shouldn’t even be worried about this loser. I know its easier said than done but to even want to spend time thinking if a guy you dated had feelings for you while he was dating someone else just isn’t important. What you need to do is learn from this and pay more attention with the next man. He could have been so in love with you but (or said that) but how truthful is anything he’s ever told you when he had another girl on the side. You will meet a better man and more lame ones, just make sure you ditch the bad ones as soon as you can and NEVER look back.
Porsche Simpson
Single Girl in San Diego
http://www.singlegirlinsandiego.com