Jina Asked:
I have been with my husband for almost 15 years we recently had our 4th child. Our baby girl was born 9 years after our last child.After three years of my husband pressuring me I quit my job and have become a stay at home mom. Also after years of my husband complaining about my friend I have cut off myself from people and literally have no friends. My husband does not hit me or anything he is just extremely moody and I am the sort of person that needs to please so this drives me mad. He has over the past two years develop a relationship with the guy next door whom at 33 still lives with mom and dad. This guy has the IQ of a pencil. I mean I could never imagine having a conversation with him as I am sure he could not even tell me who the president is. My husband on the other hand loves him. He is obsessed. This guy is constantly over I wake up and there he is. When my husband comes home from work he runs over and I do not see my husband again until dinner after which he falls asleep. I am concerned as my husband (who has not been a sex god for years) has completely lost interest in sex, I mean I ask and he down right refuses. If he does agree to sex he flips his erect penis at me and says ok lets do this (oh yeah big turn on). I have argued endlessly about this guy and how my husband prefers him to me and I really do not know what to think of this. If the guy calls my husband is suddenly happy when he cannot be around him he is moody and sad and just snaps at everyone. Is he gay?
- Jina (33, Barbados)
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Hi Jina
Wow there is something going on but it is not that easy to pinpoint with the information you have provided? I do agree that spousal abuse is not just limited to physical action! If your husband has turned you into a stay at home wife? You have lost contact with your friends because he didn’t like them? He has effectively tied you to the home and keeps those closess to you away! This can be a controlling kind of behavior and his moodiness maybe to the fact that he may no longer be happy in the home? There are unlimited reasons as to why he is being moody?
The obsession with the young man next door is also not easy to indentify? Whether your husband is gay or not is not easily answered? Unless you know for a fact the neighbor is a gay man? It may just come down to being with the boys versus facing the reality of running a household and taking care of his wife? He may want the freedom that a single man enjoys and in the process is destroying your family unit.
Try communicating with your husband about your concerns? If he is unwilling to communicate? Then I am afraid your marriage maybe coming to an end? The fact that he no longer wants sexual relations and add that to the rest of your story…it just doesn’t look good! If he won’t talk to you? I certainly hope that you have someone that can talk to him about his shameful behavior toward you?
Don’t accept less then what you deserve…make a stand and try to communicate with him. Be a strong woman and if you love him? Fight for him! Don’t feel helpless about your situation! You are in control of your own life, you just have to be brave enough to make the necessary changes to renew your marriage and move forward with integrity!
Good Luck
Gina Landeau
Hello Ms Heartbreak, I’ve been expecting you!
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