David Asked:
“I’d like to know if this girl is interested in me. We both go to the same college. The thing is, she has a boyfriend, some guy she’s known since before coming here. I don’t know the details of their relationship. At any rate, her and I are currently friends, and I don’t want to turn things sour, but if there is a good chance for a relationship here then I want to take it.
Now then, the facts. We actually noticed each other from time to time around the time she arrived here. I was highly infatuated: she looked like some bombshell out of a magazine that you know you’ll never meet, except there in real life. So being the pessimist I tended to be, I dismissed any chance for a future with her and instead figured that maybe if she is serious enough in school to stick around that I might become interested. Her second semester comes and she’s still here. Her second semester comes around and she’s doing well (as it turns out, she’s actually quite smart and takes school seriously). One day I was out with friends at the local rec-room, and her and I met. I was playing ping-pong and my opponent hit the ball in her general direction; she picked it up, and in a nervously friendly kind of way, returned the ball to me with eye-contact. This is when I decided I should get to know her. I couldn’t find a good excuse to catch her, so I looked her up on Facebook (I don’t remember how I found her name).
We had pleasant conversation, and I got her into the cross-country club (she’s very athletic and I decided to take interest in her interests). Anyway, after this, she would regularly hang out with me and my friends at lunch and dinner, or say hi at times when I would least expect it, such as when I am walking across campus. She tends to notice me at events and always says hi. She’s always been friendly, and has noticed me checking her out twice. Both times she just got this big grin on her face and looked away. I think she might check me out sometimes too, but she isn’t obvious about it. Again, she has a boyfriend, and I suspect she may not want to rouse suspicion. I can say that I never asked her out directly, rather said to her that she should hang out with me and my friends, but to this she would say she was too busy.
Over the summer I decided to keep in contact with her. I called her, and she seemed happy to hear from me, contrary to what I expected. She didn’t have a texting plan and I had forgot about this a few times, but she didn’t hold it against me. In fact, she got a texting plan and I’m pretty sure this was specifically with me in mind because she was asking me about mine and seemed disappointed when I said something to make her think I didn’t have a texting plan. So I text her now.
She’s been busy this semester, and stressed because she is new on the job as an Residential Assistant. She also has a heavy class load. Lately I have been dropping bold hints that I like her such as “we should hang out” or whatever, and I’ve been trying to move in closer to get to know her better. She isn’t shying away, but she does seem slightly annoyed with me lately. She still says hi though, and I do to.
Near the end of the summer I was talking about coming up to the campus early, and she offered me to stay the night in her room if I needed to. I took this as a courtesy from one friend to another, nothing more, but maybe she wants to jump my bones, I suck at reading her, honestly.
I do know that she’s a hottie, she’s smart, and she’s well practiced at guys. Most of her friends are guys. She knows a TON of guys, partially because there are a crapload of them at our school (1:5 ratio). So I dunno, I can speculate a bunch, but I can’t tell. I guess mainly I don’t want there to be any bad feelings between the two of us, whether we talk about this or not.
Other stuff… She’s mentioned her boyfriend like three times total, twice when she was just nervous. I don’t see them together often. Because they are both RA’s now, they tend to be at events together more now. She also knows I’m clueless about girls (I’m assuming this, I think I’ve said it in front of her). She mainly listens to our conversations. She’s only asked me for help on a couple of things. Last time she sat with us, she introduced us to her sister (a person I’d met but didn’t know the relation existed). I’m trying to be thorough here, hopefully I’m not making the waters more murky for you guys.
Anyway, if I don’t have a chance with her now, is there any way I can win her over? Thanks!!”
- David (21, U.S)
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Dave,
First off if you ever spout the phrase “do you love me?” to a near stranger I will come to where you are and beat you… Got it?
Okay, start by following all of Jason Love’s advice. His advice will STOP all the damage you’re doing. That’s about as good a start as you can hope for. Do that now. Right now. The first little while you were doing it I think she was feeling it, not so much anymore. lol.
Hernandez is right, up there when he says, you might be bordering on obsession. Not to worry though, you can stop that by following Jason’s advice.
Did she like you? Yes.
Does she like you? Not so much.
Did you do something to blow it? Yes.
Can you fix it? hmmmm… if you continue on your road…. Not “no” but “hell no”
Do you want to make a try for her?
Well then you’re going to have to change your habits. I’m assuming you’re good looking or she isn’t as hot as you make out… good looking does a little bit of work for you. Not as much as you’d think, though.
Go to my page here on love detour and read all my articles starting with “The Secret Power of the Alpha Male to Create Uncontrollable Reactions in Women”
Take no note of people who question your honesty or your ability to be a good friend. These are simply people who have been frustrated by failure, just summarily ignore what they have to say and focus on your goals. They all mean well but giving you lectures on morals when you want answers is no help whatsoever…
Let’s go over your post for a sec. You say she’s stressed, she’s this, she’s that… Stop. Women don’t want you to fix them they want you create attraction. They don’t want your friendship, they want you to create attraction. They don’t want you to sympathize, they want you to create attraction. Once you create attraction…. then (lol) they want your friendship, your sympathy, your solutions, your whatever….
How do you know when you’ve created attraction? When she’ll do any damn thing you ask. Take you to the movies, buy you clothes, wash your clothes, whatever. Whether you do or don’t do these things doesn’t matter… it only matters that you create attraction so she wants to do those things.
Anthony said to have fun… he’s right (for all the wrong reasons) Because what you don’t know is that women gauge how safe you are by how fun you are. How do you have fun?
Go to my website Tips for Flirting read everything. If you still don’t understand get my email from there… write me saying who you are and I’ll give you my three e-books… FREE.
But, listen, just read my articles and you should be fine. And don’t listen to people who aren’t actively helping you, that’s simply a waste of your time. Don’t do that. Your time is valuable.
Right now you come off as needy, but that’s SO easy to change. You just need the right information… lucky you, I happen to have it!
-D
P.S. you were NOT “dropping bold hints” Hints can’t be bold. See? You could say “that was as bold as a hint could be” but that’s not the same at all.
P.S.S. I don’t talk about boyfriend destroying on my site or my book but if you change your habits and then, then find that you need it… drop me an email and i’ll show you how to drop him.
my e-books…
The Secret to Control Any Woman… And Have Her Thank You For It!
Chick Crack: Learn to Talk About What Women Love!
Internet Seduction Techniques