I know it is difficult to hear that the person you love does not return your feelings and wants “time” to see if his feelings turn deeper for you. I know from my experience as a matchmaker and relationship coach over the past 25 years that men will be very proactive when they meet someone they love.

You probably share a great friendship, mutual backgrounds, outlook, interests, etc. but that feeling of love is just not there for him. Perhaps he is sincere about wanting to see if his feelings change, but I advise you to allow this relationship to end as you mutually agreed to. There is such a huge difference between love with someone who knows they are in love with you and being in a relationship with someone who likes and adores you, but does not feel a deep love.

Please take this time to think about what you really want in a committed relationship – the type of characteristics that person will possess and how you will feel in that relationship. These visualizations are very important so you can recognize the right person when he enters your life.

There is absolutely no reason in the world for you to settle for a relationship that does not meet the dreams and desires that are in your heart. Prolonging this relationship will only cause more heartache in the future. Investing even more time and energy into trying to make something work that was not meant to be is not in your best interest – and you deserve and should expect the very best in life and love.

Nancy Pina
Relationship Expert & Author
http://www.yourtruematch.com

Certainly from your question, there is alot of confusion on both your parts! the wording you use to describe your situation is just full of drama and questions? I can’t really believe that you would want to spend one more second in this relationship? Frankly from the sounds of it, though you spent 7 months together? Obviously it was just that, 7 months of confusion! He loves me…he loves me not? There should never be a question about whether or not love is real?

Run Liz, don’t walk! There is no need to settle for someone who just doesn’t seem to have a clue? Because of the 7 month relationship…does not mean your fated for a lifetime! One day he will look back and realize what he could have had? Instead he would rather keep you near until something better comes along? You deserve better girl! There are alot of good men out there, go get yourself one!

Good Luck

Gina Landeau
Hello Ms. Heartbreak, I’ve been expecting you!

This part here confused me:

“he asked me if he loved me and he didn’t want to break up after all and he might or might not love me, to give it time.”

Can you please explain that? That whole sentence is confusing. Why would HE ask you if HE loved you?

If I understand the BASIC point of your question, I think you’re asking, Since he WOULDNT break UP with you, does THAT mean he LOVES you?

Well, I think it COULD be leading towards that, but maybe it’s just not THERE yet. Maybe he LIKES you alot, and doesnt want to LOSE you, so he’s keeping you in his life for that REASON. If he didnt care AT ALL about you, he wouldnt even BOTHER staying with you (unless you DO a lot for him, and he’s USING you, but I hope not.) That’s what I got from your question.

In closing: He CARES for you. When it becomes LOVE, you’ll know. If he NEVER says it, then it’s just not there. You have to decide how long is too long to WAIT for him to decide he’s in love with you.

Mature love says, “I need you because I love you.”

Immature love says, “I love you because I need you.”

It is very clear that this is a very immature relationship… which is to be expected since you are both so young.

You have spent your entire lives up until very recently in a state of total dependence on others (your parents and other caregivers). You have tasted freedom for a very short time. This is a huge change that is both exciting and frightening, even if you don’t acknowledge it as such. You are both exhibiting the unmistakable signs of wanting to cling to that childlike dependence… which is why people who marry this young are so often destined for divorce. The fact that society, fueled by religion, expects people to forgo their biological urges and be with one person for their entire life is another huge reason, but I digress.

Your 20s are for HAVING FUN, learning about yourself, becoming your own person in an independent setting, and figuring out what is truly important to you in your life. Your #1 job right now is to go out and soak up as much of this wonderful world as you can. Have boyfriends, as many as you want. There is zero shame in that, and don’t listen to anyone who tells you different. Have girlfriends too, if you like. Enjoy the thrill and angst of young love and the adventures that you will never again be young enough or strong enough (or crazy enough) to ever do again. THAT will end up meaning far more to you later in life than worrying about some guy who wants to dump you unless you say you love him. I mean, trek through Europe staying in hostels (for example)… or deal with this schmuck. Do the math.

Then, in your 30s, once the fires of youth have burned down to a nice warm glow and your metabolism slows (you’ll notice, believe me), then go out and let yourself meet a kindred spirit who has also lived his 20s to the hilt. You will then be with someone you WANT and who WANTS you… not because of an emotion, not out of desperation or loneliness, but out of a deep sense of, “I am a great person with a great life and this amazing person is worthy of being with me.” When both of you feel that way about each other just as naturally as breathing, then (and ONLY then) will you be in a great relationship–a relationship that, by the way, will NEVER under any circumstances have you feeling like you right now even for a second.

Anthony Hernandez
http://www.theenlightenedsavage.com