Hi Liz

Certainly from your question, there is alot of confusion on both your parts! the wording you use to describe your situation is just full of drama and questions? I can’t really believe that you would want to spend one more second in this relationship? Frankly from the sounds of it, though you spent 7 months together? Obviously it was just that, 7 months of confusion! He loves me…he loves me not? There should never be a question about whether or not love is real?

Run Liz, don’t walk! There is no need to settle for someone who just doesn’t seem to have a clue? Because of the 7 month relationship…does not mean your fated for a lifetime! One day he will look back and realize what he could have had? Instead he would rather keep you near until something better comes along? You deserve better girl! There are alot of good men out there, go get yourself one!

Good Luck

Gina Landeau
Hello Ms. Heartbreak, I’ve been expecting you!

The mere fact that you both have this much drama and are so needy is proof positive that this is not a healthy relationship and that, to be blunt, you are both too young to know what true, mature love means.

Mature love says, “I need you because I love you.”

Immature love says, “I love you because I need you.”

It is very clear that this is a very immature relationship… which is to be expected since you are both so young.

You have spent your entire lives up until very recently in a state of total dependence on others (your parents and other caregivers). You have tasted freedom for a very short time. This is a huge change that is both exciting and frightening, even if you don’t acknowledge it as such. You are both exhibiting the unmistakable signs of wanting to cling to that childlike dependence… which is why people who marry this young are so often destined for divorce. The fact that society, fueled by religion, expects people to forgo their biological urges and be with one person for their entire life is another huge reason, but I digress.

Your 20s are for HAVING FUN, learning about yourself, becoming your own person in an independent setting, and figuring out what is truly important to you in your life. Your #1 job right now is to go out and soak up as much of this wonderful world as you can. Have boyfriends, as many as you want. There is zero shame in that, and don’t listen to anyone who tells you different. Have girlfriends too, if you like. Enjoy the thrill and angst of young love and the adventures that you will never again be young enough or strong enough (or crazy enough) to ever do again. THAT will end up meaning far more to you later in life than worrying about some guy who wants to dump you unless you say you love him. I mean, trek through Europe staying in hostels (for example)… or deal with this schmuck. Do the math.

Then, in your 30s, once the fires of youth have burned down to a nice warm glow and your metabolism slows (you’ll notice, believe me), then go out and let yourself meet a kindred spirit who has also lived his 20s to the hilt. You will then be with someone you WANT and who WANTS you… not because of an emotion, not out of desperation or loneliness, but out of a deep sense of, “I am a great person with a great life and this amazing person is worthy of being with me.” When both of you feel that way about each other just as naturally as breathing, then (and ONLY then) will you be in a great relationship–a relationship that, by the way, will NEVER under any circumstances have you feeling like you right now even for a second.

Anthony Hernandez
http://www.theenlightenedsavage.com