Lorreta Asked:
“i’m inloved with a man but he has a girlfriend. everytime i ask him about it he changes the subject. so my question is does he really love me as he says”
- Loretta (Windhoek, Namibia)
Our Experts Responded:
Dear Loretta,
The guy doesn’t love you. Flat out, point blank. His GIRL is his top priority. You come second. He’s likely just using you for a piece of ass (as bad as that sounds) because he knows you LOVE him, so you’ll be easy to GET it from.
#1 Rule: If a man says he loves you, but has a girlfriend, MAKE HIM LEAVE his girlfriend and PROVE it to you.
If he changes the subject, or makes excuses as to why he can’t break up with her, then it’s because HE DOESN’T WANT TO, or because he’s USING her, and doesn’t wanna stop his gravy train. Either way, he’s not the guy for you. So you need to smarten up and see that. Otherwise you’ll continue to be “the other woman” who gets only “some” of his time, whenever he’s not with the girlfriend.
Dear Loretta:
Of course he doesn’t love you as he says he does, because if he did, he wouldn’t change the subject about his girlfriend every time you brought it up. Moreover, if he really cared about you the way he says he does, he wouldn’t have a girlfriend. You would be his girlfriend. I think this man is using you. You are only one of two girlfriends, and it undoubtedly flatters his vanity to have two women drooling over him. If you have any self-respect, present him with an ultimatum. Tell him it’s either the girlfriend or you. Tell him he can’t have both. Tell him that if he doesn’t give up the girlfriend, you will no longer have anything to do with him. The ultimatum will force him to reveal his true colors. He will have to choose between you and the other woman. Either way, the situation won’t be ambiguous any longer. And above all, don’t let him sweet-talk you any more.
All the best
- Dr. Leonard Rosmarin
Author of the novel Getting Enough
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Hi Loretta,
Believe me when I tell you this man certainly does not love you. He cannot even tell you he loves you and he has a girlfriend, so why would you think he does? In addition, love is not just about saying “I love you”. Actions speak louder than words. Has he ever shown you love with his actions? I suspect not.
You deserve to be loved by someone who can tell you they love you and show you they love you. Anything less is not love.
Building Together A Relationship Filled With Love, Health & Wealth,
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Dear Loretta,
You don’t really give me a picture of what is happening…You are in love with someone who is unavailable because of a girlfriend! He doesn’t want to discuss the possibility of love with you because he is already committed! You are a young girl and are going around wearing blinders, seeing this man and no one else! Life is too short to spend your time on someone who cannot or will not return the love you give…life is all about give and take! It seems to me that he is doing all the taking and you are left waiting accepting less then what you deserve! Love will come to you…have faith my dear the next adventure is just around the corner!
- Gina Landeau
Hello Ms Heartbreak, I’ve been expecting you!
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Dear Loretta,
No, he does not love you… and if you really loved him then you would respect him enough to treat his relationship with his girlfriend the way you’d want anyone else to treat any relationships you get into. Move on and find someone single who will show you the level of respect you seem incapable of showing this man. With any luck, you’ll learn the true meaning of the word “love”.
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Dear Lorreta,
My advice to you is to run from this man as quickly as possible. He is not good for you in any way, shape or form and is definitely not available for a relationship. I know you believe you are in love with him, but he is using you and you are enabling him to do so. I promise if you stand up for yourself and draw the line in the sand, you will open the door to true and lasting love to come into your life. This guy is not going to leave his girlfriend. You must stop this relationship pattern so you do not find yourself in a cycle in which you continue to attract men who are unavailable to you in one form or another.
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Loretta,
Wake up darling. He has a girlfriend and you know it, and you ask does he really care about you? An emphatic…NO. He may be telling you this to lead you on. He is trying to have his cake and eat it too. He may have feelings for you, even might love you. You need to have better standards and self esteem. Don’t disrespect yourself and devalue yourself for an unsure thing. I hope you hear what I am saying, or you WILL get hurt. I hope this helps. Keep me posted. God Bless.
- Cinique’
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