Josue Asked:
“There’s this girl i met at my school she’s about a year older than me she’s 18. But lets start from the beginning.
I would see her for days and days on end as she would walk past my class, and I remember thinking damn there’s something about her i wonder who she is. For months I saw her and fancied her but never spoke to her.
So i spoke to her for the first time last week Monday this was Feb 23rd.
She was very nice and just awesome, I found it was easier to initiate conversation with her than with other girls. I flirted, told her she had the most beautiful eyes I ever saw and within minutes she was being all playful with me. I asked for her e-mail and she gave it to me. I went back to class and when she passed my class again she waved at me and smiled.
Next day we bumped into each other and we talked for so long that i lost track of time, she was supposed to be on her way home but she stayed and talked to me.
Every joke i made she got it and laughed a lot. We kept looking at each other and it went well having only met the day before. I asked for her number this time and I got it. I called her that same night and we talked for about a minute I just told her to have a good night. On Wednesday it was another repeat of Tuesday, it went well, we strolled across campus and we talked. It was then that I started to develop feelings for her. I called her that night and we talked for a little bit I hung up again.
Thursday I called her to meet up after school and hang out but she was in the middle of an exam when I called her. I haven’t seen her since Wednesday.
I called her the next day(Friday) and apologized for interrupting her during the test, she was cool with it and thought it was funny. I called her every day during the weekend for like these very short conversations which I ended even though she was enjoying it. See it was Sunday that i asked her out to the movies for the next Saturday night and her response was “i’ll see”.
She was sick so she hasn’t been at school all week. The night after, I called her and told her that I was interested in her. she said that she wasn’t into relationships right now and that she was being truthful.
Tuesday was the last time I called her, she didn’t pick up so I just left her a voice message wishing her a speedy recovery. I haven’t called her since yesterday,
Now my question is Do I still have a chance?
The reply to the date being I’ll see really confuses me. And all my friends said she’s not interested in me so she was trying to let me down easy.
The problem with that was that everytime she saw me she would be all smiles. A girl said that it’s obvious she likes me by the way she smiles when she sees me. Unlike other girls she gives me the time of day, she walks over to me to talk to me and asks me how i’m doing and what i’m up to.
So in all my questions
1. Am I calling her too much
2. Have I messed up
3. Do I have a chance
4. Does she like me
5.Am I moving too fast
6. Is she really gonna see or is she just not gonna come to the date.
I really really like this girl, I missed her terribly today, and I think it is a good romance in the making.”
- Josue
Our Experts Responded:
Josue,
Yes, she is cooling on you. Because you were mysterious and exciting and then you became needy and nice (same thing).
Want to get her back?
First, talk to other girls when she is around, joke with them and tease them. Whenever you talk to the target, tell her what you did yesterday/last night with girl and guy friends and how much fun it was. If she acts interested in doing something with you…tease her about it. But don’t act interested yourself.
If she’s outside and waves to you in class, call to the teacher that some girl outside is distracting you. Laugh at her while the teacher checks.
When you see her give her a little shove, very playfully…even if she acts annoyed…
When you want to ask her out, don’t ask her out, mention that you’re going to do something fun and you MIGHT let her tag along.
If she brings up the ‘she doesn’t want a relationship’ thing…say good, because you weren’t interested in that with her anyway. Tell her she’s not your type. If she asks what your type is…say…”not you” with a smile.
Never act too interested in hanging out with her. And don’t let me hear you talking about feelings again!
- Dan Hitt
————————————————————
Ok, Josue.
Here’s the deal. I think you may be taking her kindness for interest. It IS POSSIBLE for a chick to talk with you, give you her number, AND enjoy your CONVERSATION, without actually wanting to DATE you. So you have to keep that in mind. Maybe she thinks you’re a cool guy. And one who could be a good friend without having to have MORE. But, once she realized you DID want more, she was sort of like “ehhhh, shit” Because now you’re just like all the rest. OR, she may simply just not SEE you that way.
The fact is, you did your part. You put your cards on the table, which is all you can do. If she doesn’t respond, you can’t make her like you. Now, don’t get me wrong, it sucks if you like a girl who isn’t feeling you “in that same way.” But the fact remains, all you can do is wait to see what her next move is.
Now, to answer your questions:
You don’t wanna call her too much. Let her call YOU once in a while. (If she’s interested, she will) Don’t be a bug-a-boo.
You didn’t do anything “wrong” really. You were just HONEST. (Nothing wrong about that) If she can’t deal, forget her.
I can’t tell you whether or not she likes you. But she did tell you that she isn’t looking for a relationship right now. So that should be your first clue. Whether she’s just saying that to YOU, or if it’s simply how she feels about EVERY guy, the fact is, she doesn’t want one. All YOU can do, is accept that, and continue to be the same guy who she grew to like in the FIRST place (even as a FRIEND). If you don’t want a friendship with her, then back off completely.
Lastly, if nothing else will stop you from stressing over it, why not just ASK her how she feels? That will eliminate all questions. Ask her all the stuff you’re asking US. Now, she may not be COMPLETELY honest if she’s not feeling you, but you’ll be able to tell. One thing I can say is if a chick isn’t giving you the same vibe that YOU feel like you’re giving to HER (which is how much you LIKE her) then she probably isn’t feeling you the same way.
Here are the facts:
You’ve asked her out on a date.
She told you “I’ll see” (which isn’t the best answer.)
You’ve told her that you like her.
She’s said “I don’t want a relationship”
You call her every day
She doesn’t call you (at least based on your story)
Now, I’m not saying you have NO chance. But, it’s not lookin real good for you, champ.
The only positive thing I DID get from your message, is that she walks over to you to spark up conversation at times. And, that she gave you her number. But there needs to be more on her end for me to say “she likes you.” So far, I haven’t seen enough on her part to be convinced of that.
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Josue…this is how you turn around and say she’s not your type.
You: You’re not my type.
An Alpha Male can do this.
You: I really like you.
Her: Really? That’s great.
You: I don’t like you.
If she’s attracted to you then let her figure out how to comply. It’s more about what you communicate rather than what you say.
A teddy?!? That would be no. You could say you got her one but that you saw a really cute girl at the mall and gave it to her instead! And she loved it and gave you a big hug and…blah, blah, blah
How do you ensure she continues to think about you?
BY DOING WHAT I TOLD YOU TO DO!!!!!
Why do you think I told you to do them? The things I told you to do will make her think about you by making her attracted to you.
And the idea is not for you to be unavailable…the idea is for you to a) be around her and then b) TELL her that you are unavailable. You TELL her you’re not interested while you’re spending time with her pressing the attraction button.
Don’t come up with your own ideas. Do what I said. Tease! Tease! Tease!
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