Oshana Asked:

“It has been an year since I’m with this guy. We both love each other unconditionally. But since last 4 to 5 months we have been fighting uselessly on small small issues which are not even worth it. I don’t know is it ego or aggression which makes these fights happen. But on our 1st anniversary we had a fight on one of my friends, which was again useless. But on that day we broke up. Surprisingly we really got separated and we both don’t know why, because we love each other a lot. I wanted to talk to him and solve all this but that is also not happening. I am broken & had tried suicide thrice. Please help. What to do to make everything normal again?”

- Oshana (16, Lucknow, U.P., India)

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SubhagatoDutta Asked:

“I am writing this mail to you in a state of great mental distress. I am 21 yrs old, a final year student of IIT Kharagpur. I have a girl friend from the age of 17. she too studies in my batch. We prepared for IITJEE together and everything was fine until 3rd year when some of my friends told me that I was wasting my youth by being after 1 girl. they said there was no harm in having online sexual relationships with other women. And I felt this was true. Before this I should mention that I studied in a boys’ school and have extreme curiosity about women and sex. So, I started talking to some girls (some I knew previously, some I got to know through friends) And to my surprise I found all of them (without knowing me or knowing very little about me) were very free to talk about sex and share their sexual experiences. I enjoy such talks a lot (especially sometimes when I am frustrated but my girlfriend is too busy with her studies- in fact this this happens a lot). I know she loves me (dont get me wrong) but sometimes it is just not possible for her to give me enough time (and its not her fault). But the problem is the above chats have happened with 3 girls and my girlfriend does not take them well. After the first incident, she became paranoid and started checking my mails. She never agrees to keep my email address personal. I have to give her password to keep her trust. She feels the fact that I do all these humiliates her, especially in front of my friends. But I feel that she is being too outdated. She feels having loose sexual morals is a negative quality but I feel promiscuity is a sign of modernity. She thinks being modern and being promiscuous are totally unrelated. I really don’t know how. She asked me to regain her trust by stopping all sort of communication with all the girls. But i could not stop communication with these girls- so could not regain her trust. I think I love her because I care for her. I give her highest priority and I do whatever I can to please her, even if she does not ask for it. I go to dates with her. We spend some good times together. She is good looking. But I think its not necessary to stop communication with other girls. She feels that she should break-up with me but I love her and dont want to lose her. She gave me a choice- a relationship with her or loose talk with those girls. I dont understand why I have to make a choice. Cant I have both? Dont you think she is over-reacting? She calls it self-respect but dont you think it is her ego?”

- SubhagatoDutta (21, Kharagpur, India)

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Johanna Asked:

“3 years ago when I was 15 I fell in love with my ex. He was 17 at the time. He had his flaws but besides those he was the perfect fit for me. (in my mind he still is). I belonged to a church where his uncle is the main pastor and their rules are you can’t be dating. Ridiculous I know. But we still flirted and just to ourselves we were a couple. Of course we never held hands or kissed during that time but one night, after 7 months of dating, I snuck him in my house and because of all the bottled up love and passion we made love. A month later my parents found out because I wrote him a letter but left it in my pocket. Stupid I know. So we were forbidden to even be in the same room together for 9 months. We didn’t speak. But at times we sent notes to each other. We fought for what we wanted. Finally after 9 months we got to finally talk to each other. 2 months later they send me and my family to another state so they could be pastors of that state. I know they did it to separate us. after a year and a half we left the church and moved back to Jersey. During that time I texted him, called him, we talked and loved each other. I remained faithful never cheated and I know he never cheated on me. To me it was true love. So when we came back We spent 3 beautiful months together. On September 14, 2011 of this year we celebrated our 3 years together. But a month and 2 days later I find out his family is talking bad about the church my family made so I sent his cousin a message through Facebook . Let me add here that his family including his cousin made our lives a living HELL. They humiliated us treated us bad. Everything. So when he sent me a text saying “How could you write something like that?!” My message to his cousin wasn’t even that bad. I just told her to leave us alone and I brought up that she was with a married guy (by the way she’s my age). So I was angry and felt betrayed so I said “Tell your family Congradualtions that they got what they wanted. We’re done.” After that he didn’t send me another text. The next day I sent him one. He told me he is sorry it ended this way but we’re done. it hurts. it hurts him to think about me. I said I was sorry that I didn’t mean it. I kept texting him till the next day and he told me to not text or call him anymore. So I stopped for 2 days and then i sent him a text asking if he is ready to talk. he said he isn’t he’s hurt and time is helping. he has future set and that he loves me but its over. I want to know if thats true. It’s killing. Is he saying what he really feels or what?”

- Johanna (18, Kearny, New Jersey)

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Falling in love is the greatest experience a person can ever have, though it’s not always easy to tell if your man feels the same way about you. Most men aren’t very good at talking about their feelings, though there is more than one way to tell if the man you love feels the same way about you. If your man does any of the following five things, you can rest assured that he loves you too. Some people look into becoming a communication major in college when they want to learn more about the communication of love and relationships.

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Help Needed:

“I had a friend 8 years ago. I moved to another city and we lost contact. Now I am back and I see him randomly on the street. He has a girlfriend now but each time he stares at me. When I catch him, he doesn’t look away. I am very shy so I look away immediately and can’t look at him again. I passed him the other day again, but he ignored me completely. I don’t even know if he remembers me. I don’t know what to do about it. Because he has a girlfriend, I won’t do anything. But I would like to know why he used to stare at me, but never came to talk to me. And now is ignoring me completely.”

- Help Needed (19)

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VJS Asked:

“I’ve been married for 13 years and together with my wife for 15 years. I thought we had a wonderful relationship until recently I found some texts and Facebook postings to other Men, one happened to be her ex. I saw some hurtful postings, like “I married a nice guy but just not my type.” or he’s boring and too routine”. When I found these they were about 6 months to a year and a half old. She told me she was confused but wake up and realized what she had within our relationship was not worth throwing away and stopped. We have 2 kids. I believe that the death of my father has brought here back into loving me, but I don’t think she is still 100% in love anymore. I think she’s afraid because we have kids and she has no money or place to go. Plus doesn’t want to hurt me anymore. She has denied any affairs although i do suspect one happened or was very close to happening. We are intimate but it’s very basic. She says she loves me but there are things that make me wonder. Like one thing is I’ll find small information through one of her family members instead of her telling me. She always says sorry but we’re so busy I thought I told you. We are in a very stressful situation with having to take care of my adult brother who is blind. Plus our money is very tight also. She always says this is not how I imaged my life to be and if we ever have fights she always wants to leave. I love her dearly and losing her would mean my life is over. How do I get her to be 100% in love with me again.”

- VJS (42, New Jersey)

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John Asked:

“Hello I am from the US
I have this bestfriend who i really starting to like.

Since her sort of bf broke up with her she keeps giving me more attention.(We used to talk like 1-2 times a week but now its every day )
This happened not to soon ago.

Everyday she starts a convo on msn & she always finds new things to keep it going. She also came to my place to watch a movie, but we didn’t cuddle or anything just laughed a lot like usual.
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Tony Asked:

“I been with my wife over 23 years we had two kids my daughter 23 and my son 17 maybe I am over reacted or jealousies she work for casino her shift end at 2am sometimes she don’t get home until 5 am she don’t answer my call I came to her work her car still in the parking lot I waiting for her to show up after an hour she pull up with her coworker she told me they went out get something to eat, after few weeks go by she enrolled in some acting class I call but no answer accidentally her phone call me I heard she was talking to some guy I was listening to there conversations when she got home I was so angry when she saw me waiting in front of the house and jelling she drove off to her sister house she never explain to me who she with but I forgive her last week I came to her work and her coworker walk her to her car and they were hugging in the parking lot when she got home I confront her but told me I am over reactions and last night there both walking out I pull up in front of them she say he just walk me out, I want to catch her in the act and find out is she really cheating or I am just too jealousy and over reacting please help what should I do?”

- Tony (43, Torrance)

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Kelly Asked:

“I met this guy like 6 monthes ago in my college class and we started dating like a 2 monthes ago. A week ago I told him I loved him. Ever since then he’s been acting weird. we have a long distance relationship and we usually text eachother at night when we finally have “free” time. well the past week he has not been really texting me except once every couple days saying he loves me that he knows he gets in weird moods but is not because of me. He just does not want to fight and i always tell him i want to be there for him and the cycle is continuing to go on. I know there is not much i can do to spice things up in a long distance relationship right? Also i’m concerned hes shutting me out am I going crazy? I really love this guy but i need advice. im a mess…”

- Kelly (18, Nashville, TN)

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Greg Asked:

“I have been in a relationship with a great woman for 2 years now. BUT, here is the problem, she has 2 children age 18 and 21 that still live with her. They are dictating our relationship. I say that because I can not go to her house when they are there. She will not answer her phone or even text me back when she is around them. Both of them are, in my opinion, very needy. I cannot take her on a “date” if its more than a couple of hours. If we do happen to be gone longer they throw a absolute fit. They will not let her come to my house at all. I have children also, one is 18 and the other is 20. The 20 year old is on her own but my 18 year old loves her to death. He always asks why she dont come over for dinner or spend more time at my house. I guess the ultimate question I have is this. I want to have a future with her but at the current situation we cannot spend any quality time together and it is starting to affect me. What should I do. Should I continue to be the option or should I just cut ties and walk away, I dont want to but there is only so much I can take. “

- Greg (43, Milton Florida)

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