KC Asked:

“I met a guy about 3 months ago online. I later found out that he worked at the same volunteer group with me. We went on date and started to hang out a lot. During the volunteer group, he stayed with me as much as he can. But he doesn’t like when I hang out with my guy friends alone. I told him “we were just dating. And there is nothing between me and my guy friends.” He always made a big deal about it. 3 months and I asked when are we going to be in a serious relationship. He said he needed to take time to think. He told me I should stop pushing him into a relationship. All my friends told me that he and I wouldn’t be a match cause of our personalities. We disagreed on a lot of topics. He is always so bitter and mad about the world especially his past relationship. A week later our fight about “I want to be his girlfriend”, I found out he was married and divorced. I didn’t mind but he said I had no right to ask plus it is his choice to tell me or not. We ended up into a big fight and he told me to find another guy. I got mad and said he needs to grow up, be a man, decide what he wants and stop living in the past. We ended up not talking and seeing each other. What should I do? I like him but I think there are too much different between us. Should I give him more time to think? I don’t understand what he was thinking cause he didn’t want to talk to me face to face. He said he wasn’t ready. I have no idea what to do with this guy. Should I move on or wait for him?”

- KC (29)

… read more

Jerrod Asked:

“Hi, I’m 16 years old and I have never had a girlfriend. I am afraid to talk to girls still, and i have never once asked a girl out. I am an extremely shy person and I have a number of mental disorders which are ADHD and Social anxiety disorder. If I were to judge my looks on a scale of 1-10 I would rate myself a 7. I must also mention, i am extremely picky and i can’t help it. I only try to go for the super hot cheerleader type girls which i know are out of my league. So please give me some advice that will help me out on my quest to find a girlfriend.”

- Jerrod (16, Beaver Falls, PA)

… read more

Vlad Asked:

“Hello. I’m not sure if someone can really help me right now but it’s worth the shot..

A few months ago I met a girl, who has a boyfriend.. We got to be really good friends.. We hang out every day after school / work with the same group so we kinda had to see each other everyday.. My feelings for her got stronger and I started to fall in love with her.. She is just that loveable type of girl.. I kept everything for myself.. but I started to act differently around her.. I was quiet, I didn’t laugh so much as before and stuff.. So she kept asking me everyday what’s wrong.. But I thought I couldn’t tell her.. because I really respect the fact that she has a boyfriend.. But one day, around a month ago.. she and her boyfriend had a huge fight.. He left and she started crying.. I asked her “what can I do to see you smile again?” and she said: “tell me the truth, what’s wrong with you in the last weeks or so..” So I told her.. I told her everything. How I love her and how I dream of her every night.. How her happiness is the most important thing in the world to me.. And how I would give anything just to see her happy.. But I also told her that we should stop seeing each other.. That we should stop talking because she has a boyfriend and I really don’t think I could be just her friend.. So the next day I didn’t go out with my friends.. but she called me, just like the day before.. She kept texting me everyday, she kept messaging me on YM.. I told her many times that we should stop talking about my feelings.. before is like she is emotionally cheating on her bf.. But it’s like she doesn’t understand.. She told me she wants to get to know me better, every time I told her we should break all contact she starts crying.. And I just can’t stand that.. She also told me “can’t you see I’m not kissing or hugging my boyfriend so much when you are around? I don’t want you to get hurt..” So to this day.. she keeps calling me, texting me everyday, asking me to hang out with her and our friends.. So what should I do? Should I just ignore all of her messages and find some new friends for a while? Or what should I tell her? There’s nothing I would want more in the world than to be with her.. and make her happy.. But she has a boyfriend.. even if she isn’t as happy with him as she should be.. I must respect that.. She is out of town for 2 days.. 30 minutes ago she texted me asking me what time do I get off work today.. because she get home at 5 PM and she wants us to hang out.. I replied “I don’t think I’m coming today.. lots of work”.. she texted me “why do you do this? It breaks my heart knowing you’re not going out because of me.. Please come.. I won’t even talk to you if you don’t want to.. but I miss you”.. What should I say? How do I continue from here? Next days, nxt weeks.. I really can’t stand it anymore.. Please, any advice would be great.. Thank you for your time..”

- Vlad (25, Romania)

… read more

Msericav Asked:

“Im in a relationship where I feel that the way my boyfriend describes how he loves me doesnt match up with some of the actions,desisions he makes sometimes.i dont know why but when he makes erratic choices it raises concern that in the long run it may not work. He would say that i over-think it and he loves me but he doesnt understand nor does it seem like he wants to listen because when i tell him what happened that bothered me he comes back with something he that bothers him but he never told me.

is my relationship doomed? do i keep working at it or now that the thought crossed my mind that maybe we wont make it last down the line that i should stop now?”

- Msericav (30, NY, NY)

… read more

Crista Asked:

“I am currently separated from my husband. He is from Ohio and he moved to Illinois to be with me. He has a 10 year old son that visits us during the summer. He also goes back often to Ohio to be with his son or his family will visit and bring his son with them. We have been married one year so I have spent 2 summers with his son. I have a nine year old daughter and a six year old daughter. His son is emotionally abusive to my girls, lies constantly, and is unable to accept any responsibility for his actions. He is also sexually inappropriate with his comments and with my oldest daughter. I talked to four child experts that all said he displays disturbing behavior and potential personalily pathologies. My husband won’t hear of it. He says his son is wonderful with everyone but me. His dad is working and never around except for part of Friday and Saturdays. The rest of the time his son is with me and my girls. My husband displays some of the same characteristics as his son. Unable to accept responsibility (always makes enemies at jobs but its always the other persons fault, even the supervisors), he is irresponsible (Didn’t do his ’08 and ’09 taxes. Won’t give me a straight answer why not and then lied saying he thought they were taken care of. I’ve been asking him to do them for a year and a half). He has made enemies with my friends who don’t like or trust him. My mom says there is something about him she has never trusted. I still love him so much but my girl’s safety is more important. Writing this my situation sounds like I have only one answer…divorce. I just can’t seem to bring myself to file. I’m so confused. I forgot to mention he gambles. He took money from our account and lied about it. He doesn’t think he has a problem and hasn’t gambled in 6 months that I know of.”

- Crista (37, O’Fallon, Illinois)

… read more

Dee Asked:

“My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 7 months. We are in a long distance relationship, she lives in Washington I live In NY. We met online on a blog site..instantly connected and had so many things in common and fell madly in love. We met each other in person over a month ago and things went great. She stayed for about two weeks..but after I saw her leave for home I just got so depressed and everything and now it just seems going back to Skype and the telephone its harder. We have been fighting a lot lately and I have been having these doubts that it won’t be the same as we first saw each other a month ago. I plan on going up there at the end of the month I just don’t want to keep arguing..and we usually make up in the same day but its just taking a toll on both of us emotionally. I love her so much and I want to be with her I just want some advice on how to keep a distance relationship going and how I can get rid of these doubts I am having? Also how to deal with jealousy, I have real bad jealousy issues and its not like I don’t trust her..I just don’t trust other people plus they get to see her all the time. Please I want to keep this going. Thank you!”

- Dee (18, NY)

… read more

Emi Asked:

“Last year, I changed universities and ended up living abroad. I was a little insecure and not looking for a relationship, but I developed a very close friendship with a boy I shared the dorm with. I was reluctant to get attached to him, as I knew from the beginning that he had a girlfriend.

We spent every day together, hiking or just hanging out in his room. He taught me how to drive. On the days I didn’t see him he would show up at my room, wanting to know where I was. It was always just us, as we were both new to the area. I started to develop feelings for him and I was very confused. I was definitely getting mixed signals (either of my own invention or from him). He’s a very touchy person and I always saw physical feedback (touching, leaning, hugging) as an indicator of interest, but I guess that’s not always the case. In any case, I was sure that he liked me back.

Anyway, he had been having issues with his girl, and I had been advising him (as a friend would…urging him to work it out rather than break it off). But when he told me that another girl had “shown up” (he had been crushing on her from afar for several years), I decided to mention it to him that I had rather strong romantic feelings for him. I thought the act would allow me some closure and help me to move on if he didn’t like me back.

I got no feedback from him (I chickened out and emailed him…he answered but ignored my statement), and so I decided that I needed to get over him (as if I would a boyfriend, though we never dated). But he has still been sporadically in touch. Every two or three weeks he will call or email, wondering how my family is, or wanting to know if he can come and visit (although he lives quite far away). I have largely been ignoring this, but it stings every time I hear from him. He is still very friendly, but I can tell that he is hurt that I have not contacted him at all.

Also, we picked out housing together next year (an apartment). So I need to remain civil without renewing my attachment to him. I was very preoccupied with him, and absolutely heartbroken when I found out that he was taken.

(also, obviously, I haven’t slept with him or kissed him or anything).”

- Emi (22)

John Asked:

“I have been in a relationship since 2 years. Now my girlfriend said that she wants me to hang out with friends (without her) only twice a month. not more. because we have to hang out only together. Furthermore, the friend that I can see when I am alone can be only male, and not female. Is it normal or should I break up?”

- John (31, Chicago)

… read more

Mallory Asked:

“My now ex-boyfriend and I met over the summer. I moved back home, he later came to move here with me and my parents as I am in university and grounded here for the next 2 yrs. he left because he stopped trying to finish his high school and was unsure of future goals. Now that he has been gone for 2 months he wants to be together again. I miss him but I want him to finish his school and find a job here first. I also have troubles trusting him now with the things he says he will do in order for us to be together again. what should I do? I miss him but i also am not sure whether we will ever be the same.”

- Mallory (22, Dryden)

… read more

Confused Asked:

“So here is my dilemma, I have been married for 4 years and our relationship is not perfect but for the most part it has been great, except for my wifes low sex drive, she seems to enjoy it when we do have sex but does not want it for months on end, she is 27 yrs old. The other problem i have is with her lesbian co-worker who clearly has a crush on her, and my wife loves to hang out with her and her other work friends, also i am never invited. It always seems that hanging out with this group of friend is always the highest on her list, for example the oher day she came back from a 3 day conference and the same evening she tells me she wants to hang out with those friends ( they were not at the conference) I tell her i rather have here with me, she tells me i can come too but obviously does not mean that, and when i put my foot down she still goes. Now this causes a huge fight, when we start talking about it, she finally says that she wants to hang out with these people by herself, i ask her why can i not be invited and maybe they can be our mutual friend, she has no answer, just keeps repeating these i my friends and if u were with me then it would not be the same. I have had no problems with this in the past with her other girl friends she having girls night etc. But with this group of people it is a no no, Makes me even more suspicious about the nature of her relationship with her lesbian friend. She assures me there is nothing going on and that she is not interested in girls, but when push comes to shove she always goes to bat for her over me!! Please tell me i am not crazy for thinking what I am thinking. Also I should mention that they usually hang out at a friends house, not the lesbian friend’s but another guy from the group. Also i recently lost my job so I have been home a lot. Also i did read her text messages from this lesbian girl and they were very flirty when i asked her about this she said she is like this with everyone, and now has started deleting all her texts from her.
Please help me, i need to know if there is anything going on here and should i be worried in her sudden need for exclusiveness.”

- Confused (31)

… read more