Tyler Asked:
“I’m in a long distance relationship with a gal from Tennessee while I’m from Indiana (2 States away). We’ve been together for approximately 6 months now without a visit, which concerns me. Overall, I feel our relationship has been going well with the exception of a phase of seeing other people for maybe a 2 week period and everything seems to be going back on track now. We are both the same age, 20. She has told me several times she would make the trip here in Indiana and has never shown up which bothers me, but at the same time we mutually call eachother several times daily and have a normal day to day conversations as any other relationship would. We get along perfectly fine and still have our “Spicy” phone calls regularly. I don’t understand why she hasn’t came as promised several times. I plan on making a trip there in the very near future, but I’m afraid I’m getting my hopes up too high at this point. I need honest advice please. Thanks!!!!”
- Tyler (20, Indiana)
That’s right, recently someone’s wife made a very public declaration about a certain someone (her husband) doing whatever he wanted, wherever he wanted that she apparently didn’t like…at all! We know this because she lopped off his junk (slang for penis) then ground it into a pulp. Yeeewouch.? I think I used to be funnier than I am now. I’m not sure if that’s true but it feels true. And I am not exactly sure what happened or when, but it might have something to do with the fact that it’s scarier now to be decidedly anything…out loud. Including satirical blogger, politician or…someone’s husband!? For sure there are more immediate consequences we all face for saying (or doing ) whatever we want, wherever and whenever we want, particularly because more people are watching and listening than ever before. But not since Lorena Bobbitt have we seen so publically such a cruel and heinous act performed by a woman scorned. Typically we witness women one after another “standing by their man”; examples are Hillary Clinton, Mrs. Edwards, and most recently Weiner’s wife (no pun intended). Yet it looks like the tides are turning. Some women are respecting themselves in a way that makes them simply no longer willing to endorse this bad behavior. Like Maria Shriver Schwarzenegger, and Tiger Woods’ (again no pun intended) now ex-wife. While these reformists have more in common than their husbands’ prophetic surnames, we can only hope this pendulum finds a happy medium to “bone collecting,” and sooner rather than later! Anyway, I don’t want to have to start coming up with nicknames for the results of lopping guys’ Johnsons off, like “He got a Willy Wonka” or “He’s dead meat,” etc. Because, well, it’s just really not funny.?? Still there are some people who seem less concerned about showing lust or desire (or haven’t watched the news lately). Like last week when my husband and I were seated at the bar in a local French bistro. Keep in mind that the bar is teeny and the restaurant is smack in the middle of a bedroom community. My point is, this is no city bar or local watering hole. So you’re more likely to see a young kid at the bar having a French hamburger than the 3 men behaving badly I am about to describe.
My articles have taken me on some very interesting adventures over the years, beginning in 1996 with “Hello Ms. Heartbreak” to “In Search of Cinderella” in early 2005. But I never thought that in all my experiences I would be writing a story about “The Zebra in My Heart”.
