Last week I had mother-daughter date night with my daughter Lisa, usually dinner (with catch up conversation) and then a movie. This week it was Eat, Pray, Love. I thought the movie was so-so but it was the trailer for an upcoming romantic comedy that got me thinking. It posed the question how do you know you’re in love. I can’t answer that question for everyone, but here’s my story.

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Whether your first date is an “eating” activity or not, there are some food items or general food categories that should not be tackled in the first month of dating, if not longer.  Manners are tricky as it is, so why increase associated risk of dining and ending up with “egg on your face” by eating the following:

Finger Foods- Some finger foods like French fries, bread sticks, coconut shrimp, etc are totally fine. Avoid the finger foods that will leave you licking sauce off of your fingers and making suckling noises off bones, such as ribs, corn on the cob, or Buffalo wings.  These messy finger foods also make it difficult to enjoy a stimulating conversation due to the distraction of fingers and food hovering over your mouth.

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” Make the Most of the Little Things, No Matter With Who.”

LoVe,
LuCy

It seems everywhere we turn around, these days; there are messages from books, magazines, workshops, you name it- all in how to live a more loving, serene and forgiving life.

We live in a day and age where so many of us are aware of the more “conscious” life options given to us, and how by working towards it, we can come together in better unity, and understanding of one another.
Some of us have practiced for years, where others have only just picked up their first book, in excitement for change for the better.

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Rahul Asked:

“my gf doesn’t let others know about our relationship. She would not even tell one of her friends that we are in a relationship. The same friend has been proposing her for two years now and she says she doesn’t want to hurt this friend. and that’s the reason of her not telling this guy that i am her bf. they still hang around sometimes.”

- Rahul (25, India)

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Steven Asked:

“Is she losing interest? I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a month now, and before you assume that the problems lie in the fact that this is a new relationship allow me to give some back ground. For 2 and a half years we’ve been best friends, over the past half year we’ve been ‘talking’ on and off. So in actuality you can say we’ve been dating for near on 7 months. All of this time she’s always told me she loved me, and texted me all the time, and had been very very flirtatious. We always talked at night and always sent good morning texts. She recently went through a phase where she kept telling me how I was the best boyfriend she’d ever had, and how much she loved being around me, and loved when I touched her (inappropriately and appropriately). As of late though all loving communication from her has stopped. Were still around each other and still hangout and over the last week we’ve held hands literally once. I thought all of this was in my head until after church last Wednesday i gave her a hug and said “i love you” to which she responded a jumbled garble that resembled i love you, i guess she was trying to trick me into thinking she’d said it? I need help, i don’t want to talk to her just yet, as i don’t want to seem clingy. thank you in advance for the advice.”

- Steven (16)

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If it isn’t bad enough that money is the root of all evil, money is also the #1 reason why couples fight. Many times fights regarding money are not really about money; these fights often represent issues about control and power in a relationship.

On the other hand, sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar – and fights about money are indeed, about money. So here are a few very practical and easy tips for avoiding these money fights or for handling them in a constructive and healthy manner when they do arise.

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Handling intrusive family members, prying friends and nosey parishioners while going through a breakup is never easy.  It’s tough enough coming to grips with the fact your relationship is over.  Throw in the frustrations, disappointments, stress and anger, plus, dealing with guilt as you confront the opinions of relatives, in-laws and your circle of friends can be a major source of irritation. In addition to the fact you’re going through hell right now, trying to live up to other people’s expectations is a major pain in the butt. With all this stuff going on you cannot abandon yourself to fulfill their illusions. If you do, you’re headed for serious trouble. Take a deep breath, I have good news. This chapter is going help you to shut them up, relieve you of your guilty conscience, shift the focus to comforting you with an emphasis on enjoying the rest of your life.

The fact that you love your family and friends is a good thing. But, it’s NOT FAIR, when you, or them, uses your relationship with them to make you feel remorse because your relationship is in a tail spin. There is a big difference between dealing with karma because you did some heinous act versus coming to terms with a failed relationship. The reason is that it ended doesn’t matter. We can pick any old scape goat to beat you with.  It’s totally irrelevant.

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If you and your partner are careful with your finances and you don’t have kids yet, you better relax and enjoy yourselves while you can.  I know my wife and I went down the path of turning things down or not purchasing things we wanted, claiming we didn’t have money.  Five years later and two daughters we wish we had a fraction of the cash we did back then.  The only time we get out to dinner is when a family member can watch our kids for free and I find a decent place on restaurant.com to get a twenty five dollar certificate for four dollars.

Experts will tell you that money is the root of most couples’s problems.  Since I’m not an expert, I didn’t say that.  Bills pile up when you get married, and when you have kids, the bills octopuple, or however you say that, eight times more.  If you have friends inviting you to a Caribbean all-inclusive trip and you already told them you can’t afford it, call them back up and tell them you’re going.  You can find decent deals, including airfare, which will be cheaper than the hospital bills for delivering a baby.  Once you have a baby you ain’t going anywhere for a long time anyway.  Ha ha ha ha! Sorry, I can laugh because I’ve already been through the sleepless nights and currently in the lack of communication phase, which I’ve realized is very similar to talking to my spouse, “I don’t understand you, what the hell do you want?!”  Just kidding honey, I love you!  For the record, I don’t say “hell” in that quote to my child, I say “F__K” instead.

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Finding a compatible partner to date is never easy. If you are looking for singles in the USA then the dating pool of compatible partners is even smaller. Use information that is available on the Internet to help you get ahead on the dating scene. If you do not have a specific woman that you are interested in, online dating sites are a great way to meet many women. By meeting different women at the same time this will help you find the person that’s the best fit for you. Of course the quality of the person is what is most important. If you want to find someone that is smart, beautiful, and funny it will take some effort online to learn where the right woman for you is. Before you sign up for a site, take the time to do some research. Perform a Google search to see how users rate or review different matchmaking sites. Join several online dating sites at the same time. You would not expect to meet the perfect woman for you by going to the same bar every Saturday, so cast a wider net and increase your chances of meeting someone perfect for you by seeing who’s online. Signing up for at least three sites will help you accomplish this.

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Lindsey Asked:

“So I met this guy at a concert and I thought I recognized him from an art program I went to, so I asked him if he went and it turns out he did. We spent most of the night dancing and enjoying the music together. I noticed that we were very close and our arms kept brushing against one another. It seemed like whenever I touched him he didn’t move away and when I started to get farther away from him, he followed. After the concert we went outside and sat down on a bench, talking about the concert and other things. I felt like we had a lot in common and we really hit it off. I came to the concert with my sister so it was just the three of us but it seemed like he was talking to me the most. He asked us if we wanted to hang out but I said I couldn’t because my sister had school the next day and had to get up early. While we were talking, this creepy guy came up and started taking to us. The creep came over and sat in between me and the guy and put his arm around me. I got up and said we had to go, so all three of us started walking towards the parking garage. The guy I am interested in offered to walk us to my car cuz he didn’t want to leave us alone with the creepy guy. I told him my car was kind of far away, and he offered to give us a ride there. When we got there he wrote down his name and told me to find him on facebook. I did and sent him a message saying what’s up. He replied with “what are you doing tomorrow?” he then suggested that we should hang out after he got back from a festival earlier in the day and gave me his phone number. I told him I was down for hanging out and gave him my number as well. I haven’t heard from him since and it’s been a few days. I don’t know if it’s just that he hasn’t checked his messages or just didn’t reply. Is he interested? Or was he just being nice? Should I text him or wait?”

- Lindsey (19, Petaluma, CA)

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