Sometimes we don’t see it until we are much older and have a clearer vision of life, but some past loves had to happen in order for us to evolve into who we are today. Even those that may have evoked thoughts of suicide, because the loss at the time was greater than we thought we could endure? Would your life really be any different today? If you were the dumpee or the dumper? A heartbreak is a loss and sometimes unimaginable to overcome, but yet we willing try again. I’ve been out for more than 25yrs; I can’t tell you how many times I’ve fallen from the greatest heights of love. Only to once again getting up to dust myself off and trying again, “But for another Chance at Love.”

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Alisha Asked:

I’m 23 and have been in a very strong relationship for the past 6 years. however whenever i meet some good looking guys i can’t help myself. i end up flirting with them. its not that i don’t love my beau but somehow i feel attracted to them. it makes me feel alive and good whenever i flirt and at the same time i feel guilty for cheating on my guy. is this abnormal? why is this happening? i can’t help it.

- Alisha (23, India)

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By: Marianne Vincent-Fonteijne

Doors and windows in front are closed. The olive green bar on the edge of the island is welcoming though. A few women are drinking beers and laughing under the balcony’s swirling fan at the back. I leave my bicycle against the back wall. It is so hot that I scarcely glance at the people and go straight to the bar inside.

I face things the way shy people do: in a rush not to be noticed.

A very energetic and funny woman is putting invoices in a file while chatting with the bartender. The latter is a young curvy student full of peps and looking up to the unknown accountant whose name is Cathy. This I overheard. Cathy is looking at me with smiling eyes.

* It’s your first time here, love! Where are you from?
* Brussels, Belgium.
* Wow! Brussels, Belgium!

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WendyK Says:

I don’t really have any questions. Sounds boring I guess. But we seem to be doing good. After nearly 13yrs of marriage we have our rough stops, our fights but honestly we can’t imagine NOT being married to each other. We both agreed when we got married, it was forever. No divorce option is there. We agreed it doesn’t exist to us. So we try to talk out our issues. I’ll admit we have times…………LOL but honestly we are best friends as well as lovers and we make a choice to be in this together. I think that’s a big thing for us. I think I’ll try to get your book, because it never hurts. And I honestly think that early in our marriage we read the FIVE LANGUAGES OF LOVE and it helped us ALOT to see that we had different ways of showing our love. Didn’t make it less, just that he saw love one way and I another.

hugs,

WendyK

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Summer is in full swing and if you are single, now is a great time to really take advantage of being single and meet someone new. Whether you are a guy or a girl, straight, gay, bi, you have the opportunity of taking advantage of what summer has to offer. Of course, it depends on where you live. If you live in a large city area, then you have a slough of planned events to look forward to. Even if you live in a more rural community, there are likely a few area planned outdoor events, but you will just have to be a little more creative or drive to your nearest large city!

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If we’ve learned anything from movies about relationships, it’s that communication is key (as well as the fact that you’ll be stopped by your true love before boarding an airplane, but this is irrelevant to the point of this article).  In today’s world, communication is easier than ever.  Even when we want to be left alone, it is nearly impossible with the advent of cell phones, emails, IM’s, and voicemail.  Technology may make it possible to order our groceries online and send text messages to China, but do these very same tools make relationships harder?

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Sian Asked:

Me and my now ex boyfriend were dating for 2 years, we had lived together for the past 10 months, and were madly in love. We argued and fought, but this was not out of the norm, for people who live together, although his mum kept telling him that it wasn’t normal. Anyway, his grandma died a little over a month ago and he went to stay with his father for a while to help him, i was very supportive off this and he was asking me to go and stay there with them because he missed me. Then i got a text one day saying he was moving out and we were finished. I started with the text terrorism, haha and then i came to my sences and stopped. I have seen him since and we were great still laughing and joking, but he is very resentful towards me because i havent crumbled and have just got on with my life. I took on the no contact rule, and was doing well, although he was constantly texting me telling me he loved me and missed me and it was killing him all this, and he wishes it wasnt like this, but thinks its best to “let me go” but is worried he might regret it for the rest of his life. I decided to ask him if he wanted to get together and talk about it because i feel life is far too short for regrets! he said no and we should just move on. At this point i got annoyed, because i thought he is just keeping me on a backburner till something better comes along, And he had no reguard for me or my feelings or he wouldnt keep texting me with things like “i was thinking yesterday that i maybe i couldnt carry on without you, but i know its the right thing to do” like seriously who says hurtfull things like that? I am actually convinced that there will be a better person suited to him than me. I relise that he will meet other people and maybe get on with them well, but i just dont think he will have what we had again or close to it…Everyone used to comment on how much of a great couple we were and we really suited. And he used to tell me he had never met anyone who he got on with as well in his life, and i was his best friend.

I just want him to wake up and relise that what hes doing is silly, and its hurting us both unnessisarily. I dont understand why if you love somebody you just dont want to be with them, uts not like we had major relationship problems. I am having such a hard time understanding it all because it doesnt make sence!! I need some help to either get over him or make him understand, i dont want to be a needy ex girlfriend, but it just baffles me……

- Sian (21, U.K.)

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One night while with my girlfriend, we decided like most couples to try something new to spice up our love life. There are so many shall we say educational tools as well as new techniques to discover and explore. I think it’s a healthy part of any relationship because as two consenting adults everything at the very least should be open to discussion. It doesn’t mean that it has to be done but at least ladies, let your imagination run wild from time to time and talk about your fantasies with your partner. Now of course having a healthy sexual appetite and living a BDSM lifestyle are 2 different animals. I believe if you are open to trying new things? You will find a wonderful buffet with a variety of flavors and spices to discover.

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I am just now getting back to my blog.  I wanted to begin by posting a media inquiry that I responded to recently on the challenges when your spouse makes a drastic life change.  See below:

For an article I’m writing for CNN.com, I’m seeking both nationally known relationship experts as well as “real” people to talk about this topic: when the person you married or fell in love with makes a drastic life change. Perhaps she used to love burgers, but then became a strict vegan and now pushes tofu down your throat. Or maybe he was an anything-goes kind of guy, but five years into the marriage became a Scientologist. Or maybe your wife used to be carefree about the environment, and now she’s militant about recycling *everything*. I’m looking for both the light and serious side of what happens when you wake up and realize the person you love has changed in significant ways.

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Connie Asked:

“why sometimes guys use these stupid reason to break Up? Such as; tired of yell his g/f for these stupid things as he makes thing big deal.
After broke up just a week, he starts dating with someone else. I don’t know that he knows her before when me and him together or met her. For me it seemed like a rebound.”

- Connie (30, CA, U.S)

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