A good friend of mine, Sandra, is single and looking. She’d love to meet a guy who has his life together and can make an important addition to her life. I can assuredly tell you that Sandra is a great catch – sweet, warm, and funny. She has no problem attracting men though she has a tough time finding a man to whom she is sexually and emotionally attracted.

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Thinking about the first few minutes of a first date often sends potential daters into a spiral of despair.  There is excitement mixed with hope which is then topped off with a healthy mix of I’m-going-to-fail and I-should-just-give-up-now swirled together.  It’s no reason to give up hope if you’re willing to examine yourself and your actions, come up with a plan of action that will lead to success and follow through on it!

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Brendan Asked:

“So there is this girl at my church and I’m not sure if she likes me.. I’ve tried to watch her body language but I’m horrible at that kind of stuff. But i do notice that when i make dumb remarks to stuff (not intending to be funny/ trying) she either smiles or laughs.. my parents even think she likes me.. but she could act like this around all her friends i only really see her at church..

but the real reason why I’m unsure is because a couple years ago i asked her out via online (dumb mistake on my part.. should have asked in person) and she said maybe later.. she said she didn’t want the drama but maybe we could date later.. well i’ve waited.. but now that i think of it, was she just trying to say NO politely? do girls word it that way if they really mean no?,, also when i casually asked if she wanted to go to a movie she said that she needed a friend to go along to make her mom feel better about her going then she added in “even though were just friends”..

i wish it weren’t so confusing.. if you have anything to say about it, it would be greatly appreciated.. sorry if i didn’t give enough detail about stuff.. i’m horrible at writing stuff down as it come to my mind.”

- Brendan

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Breathing heavy, with rage not passion, I started toward the ladder to start climbing down. I just knew that I had been one stupid girl to think that any guy would have an interest in me. It hurt that I had such a response to him and all he could do was make me blush and notice I was a midget Amazon. Useful for feeding live stock and throwing things but not so good for cuddling, kissing and having for a girlfriend. I didn’t look at him on purpose as I didn’t want to put my hands around his belt with my “strong arms” and punt his butt off the hay mow with my “muscular legs.” At that time he bore a remarkable resemblance to a bale of hay. When I got to the edge, I had swung my leg over to start down and I felt a hand on my shoulder.

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Ever heard the saying people don’t change? Is that true? Is that fair? I am sure that you in your life have changed often. Grown into a better person, become more patient and more accepting. Is it possible that he could have changed too? Is it possible that he will be the perfect man from now on?

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“And I didn’t break his heart. He broke mine…….”

“Wait, I’m confused. What are you talking about? What happened?” Cheryl asked cautiously.

“You know me. I’m so big on feeling something or someone. The sweet smell of his breath, the softness of his lips upon mine, and the way that he talked about me as if I was someone. It made me feel like somebody or like I was actually on this planet. The sky wasn’t dark and empty to me anymore. The stars spoke to me for once and not to everyone else.”

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Whether you are married, dating, engaged, living together, etc, if you have a significant other, you can be sure your guy or girl expects some sort of token and/or expression of your feelings on Valentine’s Day. The history of Valentines Day has long been lost to the idea of today’s ideologies regarding it. It is celebrated in many countries in many various ways; however, here in the states, it seems to have gotten to be a bit more materialistic based. The key to ensuring you avoid a disaster is to know what your partner’s expectations are surrounding this momentous day. If you have been together awhile, chances are you know what they want or at least expect. If this is your first Valentine’s Day together, you should have been paying attention a few months ago. I realize a few months ago, you most likely were trying to figure out the whole Christmas present thing. So make it a point that next year come January 2^nd, you start brainstorming about Valentine’s Day and what your partner/lover wants. In my book, The Straight Man’s Pocket Guide to Picking Up a Hottie-Written by a Woman Who Loves Women, I identify Rule Number 10 as “Never be Common, Boring or Ordinary”. Use Valentine’s Day to put this into action and bring romance back into your relationship or if newly dating, use it to show him/her what a great catch you are!!!!

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I want to dedicate this article to all the lovely ladies and emphasize a point to the men reading this article as all of them should.

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My mouth went dry. My heart took off and it felt like it was going to pop right out of my chest. I was sure I was going to faint. I couldn’t tear my eyes off of his. They were so intent…so focused. The way he was looking at me reminded me of the way I used to look at chocolate when I was a little girl. Like I wanted to eat it and I wanted to eat it NOW. My pulse throbbed in my neck and I found myself swallowing…HARD. Just then a horse stomped its feet and I startled. Embarrassed once more I looked down and felt my ears throb with heat.

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One of the most consistent patterns I find in my private practice is that men and women too quickly dismiss potential partners for a reason that isn’t necessarily that important. Though not a client, I can think of an acquaintance who once said she decided she couldn’t go on another date with a certain man because he said the word “guesstimate” at dinner. She thought this was just ridiculous – and couldn’t stomach the thought of what other silly words he might have in store for her later.

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