After a couple months of good hibernation and soul searching, I decided to enter back into the dating world refreshed and with a new perspective, a perspective that has changed my outlook on dating, relationships and even love.

When I was a young gal, receiving any kind of attention from a male was good, great in fact. Any man could make me feel special and wanted. I guess you could say, at that point in my life, I didn’t have a type of man that I typically dated. I dated any guy that came along.

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No one ever said relationships were easy. Some work, but inevitably, most fail. They fail for different reasons, but it really boils down to not meeting each other’s needs.

Every now and again, you think past to that one love, that person that you wish you could do it all over with. You think about this person until you find the one that can satisfy this void in your heart. You reminisce about all the good times you shared, and think about what you could have done differently during those bad times.

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When it comes to relationship status, the grass is always greener. Couples who have been together for years often fantasize about being on their own, while singles frequently idealize the home and hearth that coupledom purportedly brings. It is my belief that too many singles spend their time and energy longing for The One and miss out on the true pleasures of being single.

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I have always heard that it’s a bad idea to have a fling at the office. Why is that? It’s estimated that as many as 60% of men and women have had some sort of office romance at some point during their professional lives. Obviously men and women are going to hook up or date the people they are attracted to, even if it is the hot brunette in the cubicle next to them. It’s silly to pass on someone just because they work with you. This person could end up being the love of your life, right? So, if you plan on going down that taboo path, there are some things you need to know before making the big decision.

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Rachel Asked:

“My brother is friends with this guy who happens to be black. When I saw him around I would try different ways to make conversation with him, but he never talked too much. A few months ago he got a job at my work and started flirting with me. We started talking a lot and hanging out. Until now I had never dated a black person, but eventually we started having sex. He would always tell me he missed me. At first he would text me all the time and I felt like things were perfect. There is only four other black people who work with us, and people started talking about how one of the black girls was his girlfriend. I stopped talking to him and tried to avoid him. I am not looking to be with someone who is dating another girl. One day while I was at work he happened to be working too, he started talking to me after almost a month of blatantly avoiding me. He was jealous that I was talking to another guy I work with…even though he is the one who started dating this other girl when I made it more then clear I wanted to be with him. He called and wanted to hook up…when I went to his house he kept making comments saying he missed me so much…and how much he liked being with me. Why is he doing this if he is dating the black girl from work. What can I do to show him that even though I am white I can be there on the same level as the black girl. Why would he even want to mess around with me if he already had a girlfriend? I need advice that isn’t just “he’s not worth it…forget it” or, “stop talking to him.”

- Rachel

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We’re heading into a season that can bring up a mix of emotions for lots of people. The holidays are pretty “loaded.” Energy flies at this time of year. Everyone is in a hurry, trying to get their shopping done; it’s easy to get stressed out. And amid the hustle and bustle, many people get lonely. It’s darker earlier; it’s getting cold outside. It’s easy to feel left out, isolated, and hopeless, whatever your partnership status.

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Dakota Asked:

“It seems that my girlfriend will make plans with everyone else and not me, and then if her friends ask her to do something and we were planning something she will hang with them instead. It seems like she is forgetting me. What should I do and should i be worried?”

- Dakota

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Do you know the difference?

Making love is the act of having sex that involves a certain level of intimacy and emotion. Raw sex is the act of having wild, passionate, uninhibited, animalistic sex, while not introducing a lot of “heart” emotion or emotions triggered by thought. Raw sex can be really hot. Although once the act of raw sex is over, emotions may sweep in and take you over. If you are in a committed relationship or exclusively dating, having both at different times is a great way to keep your sex life interesting.

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“Men are dogs!” We hear it all of the time. Men should be so lucky to be called such an honorable thing, yet we use the phrase in a derogatory way. We try to hurt men, telling them that they are mean, unkind, un-thoughtful, and un-gracious. Is that what dogs are?

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Regardless of who you’re arguing with, whether friend, partner, family member or co-worker, this so-called crime is committed every day by countless individuals who later regret it. I’m talking about name-calling when you’re in the heat of the moment and you use severe terminology to make your ultimate point.

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